To think it will all kick off on here after this is aired?

[MsScarlett]

My mum just texted me to say that tomorrow there is a documentary on BBC3 at 9pm called, "Is Breast Best?".

I predict a bunfight!

Don't want to get into this whole bf vs ff debate as I think everything that could be said has already been said.

Just wanted to ask what people mean when they say that bfing affects what you eat/drink? I bf and eat whatever I like and still have the occasional drink.

Do you want to find an example of TikTok doing that then?

tab, Bf/Ff is really not unique in being a question people get asked with the potential for a raised eyebrow/criticism/judgement (I actually think none of this occurs anything like as often as people imagine it - people may just be curious or making conversation!). Other potentially sensitive questions are:

• did you have an epidural?
• where does your baby sleep (inc bed sharing)
• are you going back to work/when are you going back to work?
• does your baby go to a childminder/nursery/do you have a nanny?

And so on....and on.....and on... As I say, most of the time, people are not looking to judge, IMO, and can't read people's minds as to whether something is sensitive or not.

I never, ever ask anyone anything about their babies or pregnancies or births - too risky :)

Splashy, it's bolloxs. Don't worry about your diet. Unless you're starting your day with 4 double espressos and finishing it with half a bottle of sherry.

Xposts, the lists of nosy questions :)

roillit - rubbish, sorry, and all that.

splashymcsplash - maybe you only having an occasional drink would imply limitations on your lifestyle.

Ok Tiktok....back off.....you're stealing my thunder now...

Personally, I like a tipple of a Friday night, which I do, and I EBF. DS seems fine!

I'm not watching it. I think the way some people comment on feeding choice is ridiculous. It's a private, personal thing how you feed your child (yes, even if you do have your boob out in the middle of the Sainsbury's cafe!) and calling someone out for HOWEVER they want to feed is as cheeky sounding to me as asking someone to explain why they use towels instead of tampons.

TikTok - I asked someone if they let their dog sleep in their bed the other day then felt an anxious they'd think I was being judgey. Life's an effing minefield these days.

I have 3 children aged 24, 12 and 3. I bf my oldest dd for about 6 months, my middle daughter for a couple of months and my youngest for about 10 days (I have to admit that the required commitment for breastfeeding seemed harder and harder when you have older children constantly requiring your attention too!). The older I get, the more I think this is just such a none issue. Once your children are older and you're worrying about whether they are taking drugs or getting into a car with a friend who's had a drink or running up credit card debts or if they will ever get a job in the current economic climate, whether you bb or bf seems really quite insignificant! In fact, sometimes I long for the days when that was ALL I had to worry about!

Breastfeeding probably isn't a good choice for very heavy drinkers. But then neither is parenthood really!

ah, but I found that with other questions, they asked, you answered, and either the conversation ended or they compare notes...feeding was the only one where people seemed compelled to tell you that your choice was wrong, lol

No-one ever started reciting the risks of epidurals or why it was better to co-sleep/sleep in a different room.

Where with feeding, if you're not BFing and someone else did, they do quite often seem to think that you might not know that it's better for the baby and that if I'd stuck at it it would have got easier/ that too many people give up too easily/ they managed to feed their son and he was a strapping boy (I wouldn't usually class that one as judgey particularly, only that was my MW's sole comment on the problems I was having as I was discharged )

It's not everyone you meet, or even most, but enough that you start to notice it...and to start to get a bit paranoid tbh, lol

I think the only way is to ask no one nothing at all about anything.

Dogs.

Babies.

Jobs.

Food.

Birth.

Wallpaper.

Knitting.

Shoes.

.......

tab - "feeding was the only one where people seemed compelled to tell you that your choice was wrong,"

Really?! You have been lucky, then....in my experience, the minority of people who judge when they ask questions are capable of judging anything!

(We forgot potty training on the lists - another thing where people can be Very Sensitive to questions)

I will add

Handbgs
Cars
Gardens
Parents In law
Schools
Home education
Politics
Feminism
Cats
Trampolines

In fact, everyone stop farkin communicating/debating/engaging.....god forbid we may learn something!!

Avengingangel

That was my lifestyle pre-baby. No change.

As spud pointed out I couldn't get stonking drunk with a baby anyway, whether bfing or ffing.

Avengingangel

That was my lifestyle pre-baby. No change.

As spud pointed out I couldn't get stonking drunk with a baby anyway, whether bfing or ffing.

Avengingangel

That was my lifestyle pre-baby. No change.

As spud pointed out I couldn't get stonking drunk with a baby anyway, whether bfing or ffing.

It's not the debate I have a problem with. It's the people who are so overbearing with their opinion that they think the only way to get it across is by belittling yours. Make a cogent, valid argument but don't make it personal or you lose right away. Too many people don't get that.

rofl - I'm now trying to work out what's not on the list

of course I have no idea whether they were going away judging me about allsorts of other things, I'm not someone who takes offense easy, so maybe the other questions and what I took to be chit chat were them judging me and I didn't notice, lol, but feeding definitely seemed to warrant being given reasons as to why it was wrong in a way that nothing else did

PunkPixie

I imagine you are referring to BF supporters as overbearing with their opinion. But it works both ways! If FFers could abstain from abusive language or trying to undermine BFing then I could get back to my book!

Marianne I'm referring to people from both sides. In fact I'm refering to all debatable subjects. I know things can get heated and it's easy to let passions fly and forget that people don't just flippantly make their minds up about things. It's the people who assume you are an uneducated half wit because you didn't make the same choices or have the same judgements they do. It then gets a bit like debating with my Gran about religion (Head, brick, wall!)

I CHOSE to stop BF my DD at 6 weeks. Not because I couldn't do it or found it too painful or that I thought I wasn't producing enough milk. I stopped because I didn't want to do it anymore. End of. And I will probably do the same with DC2. I do not believe that this will have any ill effect on my children's lives.

Furthermore, I am from a reasonably well off middle class background and will also ensure that my DD and DC2 have a healthy diet without being OTT or obsessive about that either.

What is your point ipredicttrouble?