Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

To kiss my children on the lips?

118 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 11/04/2011 20:18

I was reading a thread yesterday where a lot of people were talking about how inappropriate it is to kiss children on the lips, I have always done this & kiss my ds's many times every day. They are only 1 & 3 years & I imagine I won't kiss them as much when they are older, but I am now wondering if I'm weird in thinking there is nothing wrong with this? From a parent anyway, I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone kissing them but their grandparents kiss them on the lips too & i think that's ok. Apologies if this is a thread about a thread, but I'm genuinely interested in what others think.

OP posts:

ShatnersBassoon · 12/04/2011 11:42

We kiss our children on the lips and tell them we love them numerous times a day. That's normal to us, and there's certainly nothing romantic or sexual about our familial love and affection.

My in-laws have never told my husband that they love him. I find that really sad, and so does my husband. When MIL was terribly ill, DH told her he loved her, fearing he might not get another chance . She told him he was ridiculous and embarrassing her.

Quenelle · 12/04/2011 11:53

YANBU

I kiss my son on the lips and always will do if he'll let me. I tell him I love him several times a day, so does DH, and always will.

I still kiss my mum and dad on the lips too.

dearyme · 12/04/2011 11:55

i dont kiss my kids on the lips but do hug and kiss them every day and tell them i love them

hormonesnomore · 12/04/2011 14:23

I'm from a very undemonstrative family. No 'I love yous' or hugs. Ex-h's family are the same.

I used to love hugging and kissing my children but apart from DD1, they stopped allowing hugs when they were about 10 yrs old.

They'd think it very odd if I wanted to hug them now, as adults.

But sometimes I need a hug

Original poster

ilikeyoursleeves · 12/04/2011 16:14

Shatnersbassoon- I know how your dh must feel, my family have never told me they love me either. On my wedding day I told my dad I loved him & his reply was ' we'll have enough of that nonsense'. Which is why I want to show & tell my kids how much I love them

OP posts:

confuddledDOTcom · 12/04/2011 16:15

My ILs don't say love you. My girls tell them they do though. First time Nanny said "I wouldn't go that far" so I encourage her to tell them, not that she needs it, and it's so funny! She gets louder until she's yelling and they keep pretending she said something else... she's told me Nanny's rude before now but she doesn't question why they don't say it. Her grown up cousin doesn't understand them either and always gives the girls big hugs and kisses and yells back she loves them as loud as they yell at her.

Sad thing is MIL doesn't understand why they have a better relationship with my mum and is put out by it. She's even sulking because we asked them to have my stepsons at our wedding and my parents are going to have the girls. Despite us providing a room they're planning to stay in a caravan leaving us with two lads of 11 and 14 on our wedding night because they can't see we can't ask my parents to have the boys so it's not favouritism! Favouritism they've created, mind!

birdynumnums · 12/04/2011 17:36

I don't think you are unreasonable for kissing YOUR child on the lips but I wouldn't do it personally as think it's a bit icky and much prefer to kiss my children's pudgy little cheeks. What I object to is other people kissing MY children on the lips. I don't do it myself so it actually really pisses me off when they do this. I remember being horrified when my friend came over to see my newborn and repeatedly planted kisses on his lips.

Also, I always feel it's a bit unhygenic too. If you are coming down with an illness but don't know it yet, i'd imagine you are far more likely to pass it on kissing children on the lips.

keyweeseed · 11/05/2011 01:40

im suprised this conversation is going on tbh theres nowt wrong with it, be happpppy

MollyMurphy · 11/05/2011 02:14

YANBU - my mom still kisses me on the lips - its not my preferece but there is nothing "wrong" with it. In France total strangers kiss you on either cheek - different strokes for different folks. No harm in a harmless peck whereever you choose to place it.

MollyMurphy · 11/05/2011 02:16

Although I can see birdynumnums point though about passing on colds.....I always think of such things too.

toomuchmonthatendofthemoney · 11/05/2011 03:57

kiss ds (4) on the lips, cheeks, top of head, feet, hands, tummy wherever i can reach!! will continue to do so until either he/i feel uncomfortable. for now its totally normal, lovely and so obviously different from a "lovers" type of affection, i'm totally amazed people can even think of it as such.

tell him i love him as much as possible too, until sometimes he says "i KNOW mummy"

ettiketti · 11/05/2011 06:18

mine are 6&8 and the only time I don't kiss on lips is when they are dirty :o

We kiss and cuddle lots and tell one another we love one another too, but I am 100% sure they are my children and my husband is my lover....

ettiketti · 11/05/2011 06:20

Thinking about it my dad kisses me on the liips still and I am 41 :o doesnt seem odd at all so maybe its just our thang.

Mumtomaybebabybella · 11/05/2011 07:03

yanbu. I always kissed dd12 on the lips, till she was about 10 and just gradually kissed on the cheek instead. Agree I wouldn't want to kiss an adult on the lips except dh but small children is fine and actually quite cute.

belgo · 11/05/2011 07:13

I have never done this, and discourage my children from kissing anyone (family members) on the lips, mainly due to risk of cold sores which many adults have.

Plenty of hugs, I love yous and kissing on checks though!

timetomoveon · 11/05/2011 07:33

I kiss ds(3) on the lips many many times a day - well, usually he's the one grabbing my ears and kissing me . I also kiss my dad on the lips - doesn't seem weird to me at all.

AnonymousBird · 11/05/2011 07:38

Mine are 5 (DD) and 6 (DS) and both are quite happy to pucker up for a kiss on the lips!!! Had never ever thought it was anything other than completely normal. Only talking a peck, not a slobber! At some point, obviously, it will be less appropriate, but right now? Surely ok?

YANBU!!!!!!!!!

strandedbear · 11/05/2011 07:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GooGooMuck · 11/05/2011 07:48

We are programmed to kiss our children on the lips as it is a way of boosting their immunity

You are supposed to do it.

HeadfirstForHalos · 11/05/2011 08:14

YANBU, I kiss mine on the lips, the eldest is 8.

I find the "lips are for lovers" argument as ridiculous as "breasts are for sex"

The way I kiss my hubby is totally different to the way I kiss my children.

moanymandy · 11/05/2011 08:45

Well I'm 24 and still kiss my Nan on the lips! I also see nothing wrong with kissing DC on the lips! I kiss my niece and nephew on the lips too! maybe im just wierd?!

AmazingBouncingFerret · 11/05/2011 08:52

headfirst you beat me to it, when I first read the "lips for lovers" that's the first thing that popped into my head!

I would hate to see the little look of hurt on DS face if I didnt kiss him or say I love you.

jeckadeck · 11/05/2011 08:53

My parents never did it with me but me and DH automatically do it with DD. It feels totally natural for me now although that might change when she gets a bit bigger (she's a babe in arms). I think its horses for courses, but certainly not inappropriate.

LittleWhiteWolf · 11/05/2011 08:56

I used to think it was a bit weird before having DD, but when she learned to kiss it was on the lips. When I kiss her I kiss her on her cheeks and her forehead, but if she wants to kiss me its on the lips.

melikalikimaka · 11/05/2011 09:00

No chance, maybe when very little (rare), but don't find it appropriate and hate to watch any parent doing it.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5