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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To kiss my children on the lips?

118 replies

ilikeyoursleeves · 11/04/2011 20:18

I was reading a thread yesterday where a lot of people were talking about how inappropriate it is to kiss children on the lips, I have always done this & kiss my ds's many times every day. They are only 1 & 3 years & I imagine I won't kiss them as much when they are older, but I am now wondering if I'm weird in thinking there is nothing wrong with this? From a parent anyway, I wouldn't feel comfortable with anyone kissing them but their grandparents kiss them on the lips too & i think that's ok. Apologies if this is a thread about a thread, but I'm genuinely interested in what others think.

OP posts:
BluddyMoFo · 11/04/2011 22:33

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devonshiredumpling · 11/04/2011 22:45

i started a thread about lip kissing when picking up my ds from pre school one of the parents told me off for giving him a kiss on the lips and a lot of you fellow mumsnetters told me to tell this parent to take a running jump

BluddyMoFo · 11/04/2011 22:51

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AgentZigzag · 11/04/2011 22:56

Same Shock as bluddy at the parent telling you off devonshire.

How did you react? Or even better, have you got a link to the thread?

Glad MN gave you good advice Grin

ResurrectionByChocolate · 11/04/2011 23:06

Smokinaces, birth family never said it to each other, and I have no kids myself (by choice). Not sad about it, tho.

YouaretooniceNOT · 11/04/2011 23:13

My son grabs me and kisses me on the lips. I guess now he is 12 i have to train him not to do this anymore. He is SN.

Should i? Is it inappropriate for an SN child? We are affectionate towards each other.

duckypoo · 11/04/2011 23:18

Yep big lip kissers here, don't get a choice with ds2, he grabs my bloody ears and goes in for a big one Grin. All this talk about kissing lately has made me realise that it's a bit of an odd thing to do really isn't it, you know, when something everyday just hits you at an odd angle, like when you say a word too many times and it loses it's meaning Blush

I don't really get the whole "it's too intimate" argument tbh, a baby/toddler has probably resided in your body for 36+ weeks, shared your blood supply and the air you breathe. They may spend 8 hours a day+ sucking on your nipples, being held, having their arses wiped by you. I think it's probably the most intimate relationship you will likely have.

AgentZigzag · 11/04/2011 23:19

Unless there's a reason I don't know, it's really sad you've asked if it's inappropriate for your DS to kiss you on the lips Youaretoonice.

duckypoo · 11/04/2011 23:20

Youaretoo, not inappropriate in my book, if he was uncomfortable with it he would stop. If you are uncomfortable with it though then that's fair enough.

ResurrectionByChocolate · 11/04/2011 23:35

Use of "darling" would freak out my birth family, too (have no kids myself). Not that they think it's weird, or anything - just way above their payscale.

YouaretooniceNOT · 11/04/2011 23:38

Yeah not uncomfortable just he does this in public too. Wonder what people think. Might think i'm a pervert. Sad Sad Sad

BluddyMoFo · 11/04/2011 23:41

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CarnivalBizarre · 11/04/2011 23:44

my 3 younger children all want to kiss me on the lips ...they are the lips that have kissed them when they were growing up, there comes a time in a childs life when they won't kiss you on the lips and will rather give you a huge hug and a kiss on the cheek - my eldest 3 got to that point at around 10 -12 yrs ish

I wouldnt dream of kissing my teens or 20's kids on the lips

GreenEyesandHam · 11/04/2011 23:45

Good gawd, I kiss all my children on the lips, nieces, nephews, I kiss my mum on the lips as well.

Other family members get the 'slightly to the side of the lips' kiss

AgentZigzag · 11/04/2011 23:46

Fuck 'em youaretoonice, absoloutely nothing to do with anyone else.

BluddyMoFo · 11/04/2011 23:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CarnivalBizarre · 11/04/2011 23:55

lol BluddyMoFo hairiness is what prohibits me from kissing my older kids on the lips ...they are far hairier than I am and I am sensitive to razor rash

babybarrister · 12/04/2011 07:20

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InPraiseOfBacchus · 12/04/2011 10:07

Both my parents still kiss me on the lips in public. It's just a sweet thing to do. It's not like we go full throttle with tongues! I don't think it's necessarily a sexual thing at all.

SherlockMoans · 12/04/2011 10:59

You know I was thinking about this as DS, age 8, kissed me on the lips this morning. Its not something I encourage, if I realise in time then I try to steer them to a cheek, but really I think it would do far more harm if I made a fuss about it.

I am trying to gently get them out of the habit as DH kisses his mum on the lips and I think its really yukky!

As for "I love you" we say it all the time, them to me, me to them, grandma to them - mother in law vv unlikely to say it to me Grin

confuddledDOTcom · 12/04/2011 11:19

My 28 year old brother kisses our mum on the lips. I don't see the problem. It's their relationship not mine and they're just a normal mother and son.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 12/04/2011 11:26

I don't like it, it's absolutely not something anyone in our family would do. But I acknowledge that although we (inc. my parents, brother etc) are an extremely close knit family, we are not physically close and don't do much hugging and kissing. I don't object to kissing DD on the lips especially but don't choose to and wouldn't like anyone outside of immediate family to do it.

SlightlyJaded · 12/04/2011 11:31

Lips.

My DS (4) would do full on snogs with me, DH and DD if we let him. He loves a big smacker on the lips.

DD (5) does lips for when it's an 'important' kiss. i.e 'night night' 'bye bye' 'I love you' etc

We all say 'i love you' to each other every day.

I think it's normal and lovely.

We have a fair bit of mediterranean influence in our home though so the thought of being anything but tactile is completely alien to us Grin

MyMamaToldMe · 12/04/2011 11:35

I kiss my DD on the lips, the cheek, her hand, her arm, her head - anywhere! I love kissing her and no-one's warped views on affection will stop me from being affectionate with my child!

LadyWithNoManors · 12/04/2011 11:36

I kiss my children on the lips, it's just a natural form of affection and i never really thought about it until I read this thread.
I think far more harm would be caused by parents NOT kissing their children and being affectionate. I'm talking from experience.
How sad that parents find it 'yukky' or feel they have to reign in showing affection for their child.