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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

private v state primary - what to say?

81 replies

weejie · 10/04/2011 21:54

we have got the results of our primary applications in Herne Hill - we got none of all the schools we asked for.

we were offered a school our next door neighbour, who is a TA and worked there said 'I wouldn't send a dog there' (her quotes, not mine, but as she was looking to take time off through stress before moving schools I'll believe her)

so, we've gone private.

what's your arguments for the people who were lucky to get into a state school and are taking the smug moral high ground?

a - I'm doing the best for my child, why aren't you? (with a knowing chuckle to myself as this will drive them mental)

b - I'm being moral by giving my place in the local good school (which we would try to get in to on appeal but at least three others families are trying the same)

c - I should have gone to my local school on the non denominational places but I thought it less immoral to pay than to lie

d - fuck you

thoughts?

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 10/04/2011 21:56

Why would you say anything?

fridayschild · 10/04/2011 21:56

Why don't you just say that as you got none of the schools you wanted you have gone private?

Jajas · 10/04/2011 21:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

greenplastictrees · 10/04/2011 21:57

If they ask why I would say we had heard some things about x school which we weren't too happy with and felt that we couldn't send DC there and as we are lucky enough to have the money, we decided we would send him/her private. We did consider sending DC to the denominational school instead but to us it was ethically wrong so didn't really see it as an option.

:)

Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 21:59

its the sigh, the , 'oh, what a shame', the, 'but i want my kids to mingle with kids from others types of society, won't you feel yours are missing out', the, 'but how will they know life isn't 4 by 4s'...

option d it is then ....

OP posts:
IwishIwasmoreorganised · 10/04/2011 21:59

Tell the truth - why wouldn't you?

usualsuspect · 10/04/2011 21:59

You could say' I'm considerably richer than you '

Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 22:00

greenplaticstrees

i love you

OP posts:
Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 22:01

usualsuspect

haha hahahaha

OP posts:
Zipitydoda · 10/04/2011 22:01

Can't you just be honest? Rather than sounding rather stuck-up, defensive and unhinged.

tattycoram · 10/04/2011 22:02

Well what would you say to the people who are in the same boat as you but haven't got the money to go private? Don't really understand why you are expecting people who got into their first choice to be smug, I think most people are just relieved.

Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 22:02

but clearly i feel sad and guilty and want you all to make me feel better

OP posts:
usualsuspect · 10/04/2011 22:02

I was being sarcastic

tattycoram · 10/04/2011 22:03

Cross posted with zipity who put it v succinctly

Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 22:03

defensive ? possibly

unhinged ? noooowwwoooaahhhaay

ps i'm considerably richer than you

OP posts:
FabbyChic · 10/04/2011 22:04

d

sue52 · 10/04/2011 22:04

Most people won't care but it might annoy some if you use option B. Holier than thou parents always irritate me.

thebestisyettocome · 10/04/2011 22:06

I would say (d) fuck you.

Not in a 'I don't give a fuck about you or your children' kind of way, but rather in a 'it's got fuck all to do with you' way Smile

Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 22:09

by the way, am typing while being observed by husband wAves

he has never experienced the joys of mumnset

he also thinks I'm mental

he's just corrected me, unhinged!'

OP posts:
MammyT · 10/04/2011 22:09

More likely they'll think you're looking down on them, rather than the other way around.

Seriously I'd be honest.. I'd say that I didn't fancy the school offered so are going private. That should be the end of the discussion.

rosie1979 · 10/04/2011 22:09

Why do you think they care? And why do you care what they think?

thebestisyettocome · 10/04/2011 22:10

Some people will care though rosie.

Original poster
weejie · 10/04/2011 22:13

am off to bed, wish I'd started this when had more time to engage

but honestly, don't care!

just had a slightly odd lunch today where eyebrows were raised, but I'm happy with my choice, just on here really to try to get a handle on the lovely but strange people at lunch's attitude, and to reassure myself I'm not a pariah. or a hypocrite.

OP posts:
smallwhitecat · 10/04/2011 22:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

petitfromage · 10/04/2011 22:16

I'm sending my ds to a private primary as uniform of tie and blazer much cuter than sweatshirt and trackie bottoms. Try that as rationale. Will shut them up.