Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to find this disuturbing

114 replies

Kitsichick · 09/04/2011 21:14

In the SM today was a photgrapher taking pics of children and parents with various Easter props.
We were waiting in the queue. The photographer took some lovely shots of two little girls and commented to the parents that one of the girls (about 5?) looked rather like Angelina Jolie- she had long dark hair and beautiful features. 'Yep' said her Dad ' She's going to have perfect blow job lips!' and they laughed.
I am still really unnerved. Was I B U and prudish?

OP posts:
YouaretooniceNOT · 10/04/2011 18:39

I cannot obviously tell you 100% what my reaction would be in reality at a time like this. I imagine i would be too shocked, disgusted and concerned about the little girl involved to beable to speak for a while.

lazarusb · 10/04/2011 18:41

Well done OP. At the very least it was inappropriate and offensive.

InPraiseOfBacchus · 10/04/2011 18:43

Even if [best case scenario] he was trying to crack a daring joke, it was horribly misjudged.

What a trashy person. Shows his view of women :(

YouaretooniceNOT · 10/04/2011 18:46

Well done for reporting.

RedHeels · 10/04/2011 19:20

Glad you reported it. I would probably do the same - first too shocked to say anything but after consideration I would have taken action. There is putting your foot in your mouth and there is saying something vile and not being remotely embarrassed. Jeez, and I thought I've heard it all...

glasnost · 10/04/2011 20:10

It was an appalling thing for him to have said but it's not an offence or a crime. OP should've shamed him by pulling him up on it there and then. That way he'd think twice in future before saying somthing so inappropriate. (Euphemism).

Summerbird73 · 10/04/2011 20:53

thank you MollieO i am even more Shock at the mother for being so aggressive - obviously a charming family

Original poster
Kitsichick · 10/04/2011 21:37

Blinkin heck Glasnost WHAT RIGHT have you to say what I should/shouldn't have done! We were in a huge supermarket -nowhere near home-in a big queue of parents and kids waiting to have their pics taken. You sound like a very 'punchy' person to me i.e wade in and have a go.
I am not even slightly like that. I needed to have time to process what was best and would not put the children I had with me in a difficult situation/ It's fine for you to sit at the lap top and say what I 'should' have done.
How do you know what YOU would have done! I wouldn't have known until I was in the same situation. And I really think- he was NOT the sort of person to be 'shamed' as you say! He was a cocky, 'arent I a funny guy' arrogant little so and so. I think the way I chose was MUCH more effective and at least I DID something. We can all be heroes of the hour in hindsight.

OP posts:
Driftwood999 · 10/04/2011 22:41

Kitsichick - You witnessed something shocking and you have done the right thing imo by passing this "burden" onto the agency that can investigate the matter with hopefully, some experience. You did not "turn your face away" but as you say have reflected on something very uncomfortable and have had the courage to act.

hellymelly · 10/04/2011 22:52

OP well done for following it through like that. I think it would have been very upsetting for the little girl if you had said anything there and then anyway,as it might have got nasty.

heliumballoons · 10/04/2011 23:01

It is Shocking a father would say this about their DD but I also suspect it was meant as a man to man joke with regards to Angelina Jolie. OK so the photographer didn't find it funny and the mum did. (I don't btw)

Driftwood999 · 10/04/2011 23:07

heliumballoons -That is a very liberal interpretation.

YouaretooniceNOT · 10/04/2011 23:16

IF and a massive IF this went to court - via the authorities finding evidence of other child abuse - would you be prepared to be a witness in court?

mamatomany · 10/04/2011 23:18

I will be gobsmacked if the police follow up on this, my cousin was racially verbally attacked in the street and the police didn't even take a statement so if they start spending their time chasing up this shite I shall be writing a strongly worded letter to somebody about priorities.

glasnost · 11/04/2011 07:12

Kitsichick don't post on here if you don't want opinions dischordant with your own. Your defensive last post tells me you're prob having second thoughts about reporting this. It's not an offence. Deal with it. And next time don't simmer in silence.

Bucharest · 11/04/2011 07:16

I agree with glasnost.
It was disgusting, it was inappropriate and it was also totally unnecessary to report.

GORGEOUSX · 11/04/2011 08:56

I don't believe any of this happened. I think you made it up so that you could post on here that you have done something worthwhile by reporting.

Aside from the sick and vile comment allegedly made by the father, why would a photographer say a 5 year old child looks like Angelina Jolie? How can any 5 year old look like an adult?

Summerbird73 · 11/04/2011 09:22

dont pay any attention to gorgeousx he/she has got form for winding people up

in response to those who say that the incident wasnt worthy of being reported; i would say this; If this were an isolated incident then Social Services and the Police would log it and probably not do anything about it. I agree that direct action as a result of this one incident is probably overzealous.

However ? what the doubters have not considered is this; what if the SS/Police already have information on this family? What if there have been other reported incidents, on either end of the scale? This incident shows that the family have no concerns about what other people think about them and think it is funny to refer to their 5 year old in a sexual manner.

OP I maintain that you have done the right thing. You have never said that you want direct action as a result of this one incident ? you have raised concerns about a family who may or may not already be on the SS radar ? the information you have given them may or may not assist a potential investigation.

GORGEOUSX · 11/04/2011 09:29

Doubting a story is not "winding people up" Hmm

And neither is disagreeing with someone!

If MN thought I was a troll they would have banned me - and as troll-hunting is not allowed maybe people should ignore your comments instead.

The3Bears · 11/04/2011 09:32

Shock how disgusting

welshbyrd · 11/04/2011 09:43

disgusting, YADNBU

welshbyrd · 11/04/2011 09:44

ALSO i HOPE THIS IS A JOKE/sick joke

xStarGirl · 11/04/2011 09:49

Winding someone up on purpose is the very definition of trolling, no?

If you doubt the veracity of something someone has posted and then go on to post something of that nature, you can't possibly have any other motive than to be inflammatory and to wind the OP up. Because, you know, if I see a story I don't believe posted here, I ignore it.

I certainly don't post going "sorry, don't believe you". Because, as I said, that's only going to wind people up and is bloody rude to boot.

But I digress - OP, I'm not sure reporting will actually achieve anything, but I agree that it's better to be safe than sorry!

StewieGriffinsMom · 11/04/2011 09:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Supermoo · 11/04/2011 10:05

OP you did the right thing. I worked with a family years ago - the parents had 10 children, lots of 'low level' concerns logged with SS, serious concerns but nothing that SS could act on. Anyway, a pub landlord called in a report of a conversation he had overheard between the parents re: sexual relationships between themselves and the children. This prompted an investigation and the children being removed from the home. The parents were later imprisoned for horrific sexual and physical abuse of children aged 10 weeks to 14 years, as well as making and distributing child pornography.
Now, I'm not saying this was the same thing. It probably wasn't. But it was wrong and you were right to share that responsibility.