To feel unusual as a Mum in her mid 20s?

[Youngymummy]

I am in my mid 20s, with one toddler DD. I am educated, married, own a house etc. All the Mums I know are either much older (35ish) or much younger (18ish) than me.

Am I really so rare - or are there lots of Mums in their 20s out there somewhere? AIBU to feel so unusual?

yabu

you are not unusual at all

Yip, your gonna get flamed for saying 35ish is MUCH older, im away to get the wrinkle cream !

You're not unusual but I do know what you mean. I was 26 when I had dd, all my friends were mid-30s when they got round to the baby thing. Dd does now really enjoy having the youngest mum in her year :)

It's relatively unusual round here. I felt young when pg at 30. Now, I'd say there are loads more having their first at 35+

I had my first child at 28....like you, educated, own house etc.

I think it very much depends on where you live. We moved to this area when ds was 2 and it was then that I noticed that mums with their first child were mid to late thirties

All my friends had their children in their 30s. Some haven't had children at all.

All my SIL's friends had their children in their 20s (she's much younger than me fwiw).

The main difference as far as I can see is that her friends are all with their boyfriend from school or University so got married/committed to each other much younger. My friends are mainly with people they met much later, although one met her dh at Uni and then had fertility problems, hence delay.

I think statistically you're in the majority by the way, although it might not feel that way.

I wouldn't have thought you're that rare at all. I, and a lot of my mummy friends, are the same sort of age as you.

I agree you might get flamed for thinking 35 is old, though. Also for mentioning that you're educated. Not this is a bad thing to be, obviously, but you seem to be suggesting that to be educated, married and to own your own home in your mid-20s is in some way unusual!!

If you go out and meet lots of mums, you'll meet people you feel are similar to you and those that aren't. IME, I have to say that age isn't usually a factor, though and it's far more interesting to have a bit of variety!!

I had my first at 28; statistically we are unusual - that may be the average age but there are far more women having babies at 18 or 38 than 28.

yes. you are that rare :) i know, cozs i was, and still am. with ds1, people think he looks like my brother. wi

Stats from 2008

"Babies born in England and Wales in 2008 were most likely to have a mother aged 25-34, with over half (54 per cent) of mothers being in this age group (figure 1).5 A further quarter (25 per cent of babies) were born to younger mothers, aged below 25, while one-fifth (20 per cent) had mothers aged 35 or above at the time of birth."

This doesn't specify first babies, so as you can only be older the more children you have (obviously..) the age for first baby is probably skewed further to the younger age group.

I was in the same position as you. Everyone at toddler groups was either in their teens or in their thirties. I did not meet anyone else who had children in their early to mid twenties. Thirteen years on, I now have a neighbour who has had children in her mid twenties. Again, she doesn't know other mothers of her age.

The Op didn't say a woman of 35 was old. She said 35 was much older than her, which it is.

do you feel its a problem? I had a child in teens,twenties and thirties, never felt unusual, sometimes young, sometimes old but was happy to mix with people of various ages, .

I was 25 when I had ds1 and every mum I met and have made friends with are 5-10 years older than me. It supprised me too.

I dont think it is a problem, they are great friends and I dont feel any younger than them at all. Just suprised me at the time that is all.

I was the same, 25 when I had DD1 (not completely planned ) but married educated good job,

Everyone I know with children the same age is at least 5 and often 10 years older than that.

I'm now 30 and have 2 DDs, my school friends etc are beginning to think about starting their families now.

I found myself having my #4 when all my old uni mates were just on #1. I revelled in the status of child-bearing guru

I was in my mid 20s when I had my children. I think it's as common as teens and thirties.

I had my first child at 27, which I thought was about average (?). But I was the only one of my friends to have a child at that time (other than oe friend who'd had a baby at 16).and lived in an area where there were two types of mum = the late 30s yummies and the teenage mummas. No in between. I used to go to two different toddler groups, each frequented by a distinct clique of mums, and I always felt either too old or too young.

I'm 34 now and most of my good girlfriends still don't have children yet

I totally agree with you OP. I had DS1 when I was 26 (okay well it was by accident) but I have a degree and am married. Where I live now I'm the youngest mum by a good 10 years and then some. The majority of the other mums are late 38-45 here easily.

BobbiDazzler thats exactly how I used to feel too - in fact your post is spot on what I experienced.

Where I moved from there were only teen mums and late 30's mums again. I find it really unsual to find parents our own age and its only now 5+ years later that any of DH's friends are having DC's. Most of my old work crowd still are childfree too.

you are def not BU IMO!!

I feel the same OP, I'm 25 and DS is 9 months old. Went to new mums group when DS was 10 weeks old and at the age of 24 was easily 10 years younger than most of the other mums. I rekon I had a bad lot but they were all cliquey and up themselves and I just felt ignored.

My best friend is due in June, she's 24 and another good friend from school has an almost one year old but they live 100 miles away, I would love to see them both more often.

My town is either full of teenage mums or women 35+, not a lot in the middle where I am! So YANBU, I feel like an oddball too!