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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To feel unusual as a Mum in her mid 20s?

88 replies

Youngymummy · 08/04/2011 21:12

I am in my mid 20s, with one toddler DD. I am educated, married, own a house etc. All the Mums I know are either much older (35ish) or much younger (18ish) than me.

Am I really so rare - or are there lots of Mums in their 20s out there somewhere? AIBU to feel so unusual?

OP posts:

bibbitybobbityhat · 09/04/2011 18:59

Journey
Don't agree that the op is making any kind of fuss at all. She's just saying.

frakyouveryverymuch · 09/04/2011 19:03

If you were the one being ignored and others didn't make the effort to know the person and instead judged on age you'd probably make a fuss too.

The fact is that being married, having been to Uni, owning your own house etc gives you more in common with the 35ish mums than the 18ish but there's still a generation gap. Neither fish nor fowl...

haudyerwheesht · 09/04/2011 19:06

I'm 29, finished uni and bought a house at 23, married and pregnant at 24 (and 28) .

Round here we are relatively unusual. None of my uni friends have kids. All but one of my school friends do. Weird.

Bumperlicioso · 09/04/2011 19:17

I felt the same. Was 26 when I had dd1, married (no house though :() and I was the first of my friend's to have a baby. And most of my 'mummy friends' were all 35+. Most people seemed either older or younger.

earlyonemorning · 09/04/2011 19:24

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for personal reasons.

upyourdiva · 09/04/2011 19:25

You are not alone I have one DS and I am 24...

Does it matter that I had him when I was 19 :o

washnomore · 09/04/2011 19:28

It's actually quite interesting because the media is always going on about mothers leaving it late to have children these days, or at the other end of the spectrum teen pregnancies. And those of us who fall in the middle have become freaks of demography and are spread thin on the ground.

Many moons ago I'm sure I posted about the same subject on MN and got my arse ripped out OP, so you've got off lightly with a knuckle-wrapping

marzipananimal · 09/04/2011 19:44

I'm 24 and have a 7mo DS but I've encountered more surprise at me being married at 21 than a mum at 24. I have quite a few mum friends only slightly older than me but I know what you mean so YANBU

JemimaMop · 09/04/2011 19:49

Its not making a fuss journey, as earlyonemorning said you instinctively look for a "peer group" and when you are a settled and reasonably well educated first time mum in your mid twenties that can be very hard to find!

I am now in my thirties and all of mine are at primary school. Quite a few of my school and uni friends are pregnant with or have just had their first baby. When I had mine I felt really out of it as they were still backpacking around Asia or working their way up the career ladder and partying hard at weekends. Now I still out of sync with them as they are talking nappies and night feeds (and tend to assume that as I have children I want to talk about the same thing) but as mine are that bit older I am back thinking about my career (in between football matches, piano practice and riding lessons).

Of course it doesn't matter what age someone is, but it is nice to have friends that you have a lot in common with (including the decade in which you grew up, the age of your children and your educational background).

splashymcsplash · 09/04/2011 20:04

I'm quite glad to see someone else point this out. I was thinking I was the only one who noticed this.

The mums round here are all older/younger. At my nct group I was the youngest by nearly a decade and quite a few were old enough to be my mum.

Haven't found it mattered much, but was a little surprised at first.

Georgimama · 09/04/2011 20:08

Now I'm 32 and about to have my second I find the pregnant women I encounter are my peers, and many of my old school friends are pregnant too. They're on their first though.

LDNmummy · 09/04/2011 20:12

OP I feel unusual too at times because I am 24 and having my first. I am graduating this year, have a partner who is a graduate and has a career and we are in a very good position financially. But, in the area I live in, every mother is at least over 30. I am lucky as I have two very close friends, one who already has a child and the other who is expecting too. It makes me feel a little less odd, but I really get what you mean.

GinGirl · 09/04/2011 20:30

I am unusual in both friendship groups, both school/uni friends and people I have met since having DD1.

Was 23 (and one month) when I had DD1
25 (and one day) when I had DD2
and will be 26 (and 8 months) when have DC3 in May.

I was by far youngest in NCT and postnatal groups. And none of my school/uni friends are even married yet.

Do feel a bit in limbo both ways when I think deeply about it, this doesn't happen often!

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