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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

wanting to have serious words in school about this teacher.

124 replies

Oakmaiden · 07/04/2011 21:02

My daughter was VERY upset today. She is 7 years old, and was asked by her teacher to draw and label a circuit diagram - basically a battery and bulb, led together with 4 crocodile clips. Now the teacher DID say to the class that they should only label one of the crocodile clips, because it would take to long to label them all.

My daughter chose to label them all - and claims she had still finished before most of the class.

Now - the teacher had specifically told them not to do this, so I completely understand her getting into trouble for not following instructions. But I feel the teacher's reaction was WAY over the top - she took my child's work and tore it up in front of the class and made her stay in all playtime to do it again.

Now - whilst I do understand that a reprimand was in order, and if she had had to simply stay in and redo the work I wouldn't have said a word. But really -is it ever acceptable to tear up a child's work? I just think it is so very rude and disrespectful - almost bullying actually. My daughter was devastated.

Beyond this - my daughter tells me that the teacher does this "a lot" - and it makes me really uncomfortable. They are only in Y2! I am really tempted to go in and speak to the head and see what the school policy is on this sort of thing...

Am I being too precious? I just think it is an unacceptable thing to do to any child, really....

OP posts:
Hulababy · 07/04/2011 21:19

YANBU a teacher should never eve treat a child in that way. To humilate and ridicule her efforts in that way, by tearing her work, is totally out of order and unacceptable. There are few things really that would have me up at school, but this most certainly would! I'd be there forst thing tomorrow morning, and would be prepared to speak to the headteacher regarding it too.

I work in a Y1 class in an infant school and there is no way one of ours teachers would gt away with behaving like that towards children without a serious reprimand.

LynetteScavo · 07/04/2011 21:19

I know teachers who would do this. (Few and far between but they do still exist)

Unless you go to the head and ask innocently why the teacher did this it will carry on.

Bear in mind your DD's work might have been a bit messy if she finished so quickly, but that is no excuse for tearing up work in front of a child.

thebestisyettocome · 07/04/2011 21:20

A teacher once ripped up my mum's work. She still remembers how it felt and she's in her sixties. I would have a word.

DaffodilsAndScillas · 07/04/2011 21:20

Shock Hmm Angry

YANBU!!!

MrsRhettButler · 07/04/2011 21:22

YADNBU

femalevictormeldrew · 07/04/2011 21:26

YANBU what a horrible thing to do on a child. She needs lessons in basic maaners the rude woman

scurryfunge · 07/04/2011 21:27

Did this actually happen OP?
Who else but your 7 year old is saying this happened?

Original poster
Oakmaiden · 07/04/2011 21:29

Lynette and others - yes, it is entirely possible it was not my daughter's best work, but I don't really think this is the point. Even if it was dreadful I don't think she should have ripped it up. Even if my daughter was cheeky I don't think she should have ripped it up. Reprimanded her, asked her to do it again, made her miss her play - possibly any or all of those depending on the situation, but not actually rip up her work and put it in the bin.

Those who have suggested it - I could go and ask the teacher what happened, but frankly I completely believe that it happened, as my daughter was SO upset, and no matter the "reasoning" the teacher gives me for the action, I really don't think it was an acceptable way to react.

OP posts:
amberleaf · 07/04/2011 21:30

I too would double check the facts before going in guns blazing tbh.

Goblinchild · 07/04/2011 21:30

If the teacher does this a lot, I'm surprised more parents haven't complained.
It is unacceptable on many levels, go in and see the teacher to challenge her on her behaviour. Take it further if you need to.
Be prepared for your daughter to have been elaborating the truth a little, I've had a few parents come in furious and leave rather embarrassed though.

Goblinchild · 07/04/2011 21:32

The school should have a behaviour policy with a series of escalating sanctions that apply across the school. Tearing up or destroying work will not be on the list, so you can use that too.

PlateSpinningAtAllTimes · 07/04/2011 21:33

YANBU. I do, on occasion, get yr 3 children to re-do their work if I know they can do a much better job. However there are ways of doing things! Tearing it up is just nasty. Plus, it sounds like a seriously minor thing that she did wrong, which won't affect her learning at all! Now, whenever she thinks about circuits her first thought will be having her work torn up Angry

Original poster
Oakmaiden · 07/04/2011 21:33

Scurryfudge - I can't have independent corroboration until tomorrow morning, as I didn't get home until late this evening, and my friends' children are in bed so I can't get her to ask them til then. However, I did just text my friend - who works at the school - and she said she wouldn't be surprised to hear it, cos the teacher has thrown her daughter's artwork away before, even though her daughter wanted to take it home.

Not counting the time a couple of weeks ago when both girls were forced to miss their playtimes for doing an extra page of sums in their maths book....

OP posts:
Original poster
Oakmaiden · 07/04/2011 21:36

In fairness I never go in all guns blazing - I find softly and friendly "I don't understand how this has happened" works far better. And then refusing to budge until I get an explanation.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 07/04/2011 21:38

If it has happened then this is outrageous behaviour by a teacher and you have every right to bring this up with the head -just be careful though as 7 year olds are great for untruths Smile

Goblinchild · 07/04/2011 21:39

That's a much more efficient and relentless way to go Oakmaiden, always my preferred strategy.

maddy68 · 07/04/2011 21:40

I'm a teacher and I think that is disgusting - IF it actually happened as stated!
I would go and speak to the teacher (calmly) and find out the facts, always two sides to a story I suppose

ravenAK · 07/04/2011 21:40

I'm a teacher - this is utterly unacceptable; definitely complain.

I'd just double check your dd hadn't also, say, drawn & labelled a picture eg. 'Ms Scary stinks' in the margin.

I'm sure not, & you obviously know your dd & know she was very genuinely upset - but we do occasionally get a parent come steaming in with an open can of whupass, &, well, their dc's version of events isn't always 100% accurate.

I'd make the contact fairly formal - ring school & ask the teacher to arrange a meeting with you. Go in with a notebook & make it quietly clear that you're prepared to move onto the next level of complaint (letter to Head, cc'd to governors).

Original poster
Oakmaiden · 07/04/2011 21:41

Yes - I know that scurryfudge :) And my daughter did attempt to mislead me over exactly WHY it had happened ("But Mummy, she said that, but I thought she meant..." - No - you didn't, you chose to disobey, and the teacher was correct to be cross with you.) Which makes me think that it did actually happen.

OP posts:
BigHairyGruffalo · 07/04/2011 21:50

Wow, this is the first time that I actually gasped out loud at a post (I am getting many odd looks now! Grin) and that was when I had misread and thought that your daughter was in YEAR 7, which is bad enough. 7 years old?! What a meanie! I think you should definitely talk to the teacher about it, although it sounds like she might just be a nightmare. Keeping children in for doing extra sums? Madness!!

It makes me really sad that I know so many capable people who have just finished Primary PGCEs and can't find jobs when awful people like this are teaching Sad

ps. YANBU!

Katiekatiekatekate · 07/04/2011 21:55

Oh your little girl! I just want to give her a cuddle. IMO some teachers do not spend enough time with adults out of school and so they forget that children are just that - children. She's 7, bless her!

Give 'em hell.

Katiekatiekatekate · 07/04/2011 21:58

Oooh before I upset teachers.... I really do mean some teachers!! My sister's a teacher and she's lovely ;)

Bathsheba · 07/04/2011 22:00

She is drawing circuit diagrams at 7...?? I know I'm in Scotland and my daughter was deferred a year, but in P2 she didn't do circuit diagrams...

Anyway, teacher was awful if she did this

hairfullofsnakes · 07/04/2011 22:27

I think you should go straight to the head with your concerns. she is out of order - totally - let us know how you get on

thefirstMrsDeVere · 07/04/2011 22:34

Takes me back to my school days in the 70s.

Very common in those days.

I still remember the humiliation and confusion.

Definately talk to the school but keep it calm and reasonable. This will make it much harder for the school to dismiss it as childish exaggeration and you as a precious mother.