To think that some other mothers can be complete cows?

[crazycatlady]

Two isolated incidents this week have made me wonder why women are so damn MEAN.

1. I took toddler DD and 4wk old DS to a local cafe earlier this week - to get a smoothie as a reward for DD for being good at the bank and so I could sit and feed DS. The place was quite busy with babies and buggies. I couldn't get through to the only free table. Two mums were completely blocking the way with their buggies. They could see me struggling. I asked if I could get by and got a disgruntled 'oh, can't you manage?'. They stayed in their seats. I asked again if they could move their buggies and got a shouty 'no, can't you see we're BREASTFEEDING'. So I started to move one of their buggies so i could get by and got a 'don't move that, it's got things in it I need'. In the end I went somewhere else...

2. At the playground today another toddler pushed my DD over so hard she went flying and landed on her face. He was pushing her away from the swing she was getting into. His mother saw the whole thing but didn't pull her son up on his behaviour. Instead she laughed while my DD was getting hysterical. I asked her if she was going to ask her son to apologise and she said 'why? that's what 2yr olds do'. When I replied, 'yes but it's not really acceptable to let them get away with it', two or three other mothers joined in and told me I was being ridiculous. DD was so upset she asked to go in the buggy and go home from the playground which is unheard of. I was really surprised by the reaction of the other mothers.

So AIBU to be shocked at how horrid other mothers can be, or is this just what it's like in SAHM world and I need to toughen up? I am recently back on maternity leave so haven't had to endure playgrounds/playgroups etc for a long while...

hecate - too true. I did make that mistake when I first became a mum.

Poor you. Yanbu.
The behaviour in the cafe sounds familiar. I live in SE22 and get quite a bit of it round here - pretty annoying.

How do you know they were SAHMs?

Ahh so there are more people who think MrSpoc is a troll/wanker/nobcheese (delete as appropriate), good to see my sense of judgement isnt faltering in my advancing years

no yanbu! i would have been upset by both those situatations too. i haven't really seen a lot of that behaviour around here, maybe people are nicer in north london :P
but that is really bad, you should be able to expect better than that, just a bit of common decency from others and consideration. a mother should empathise when they see you with a toddler and a 4 weeks baby as that is a tiny baby and you've only just given birth very recently so definitely merits people taking a bit of effort to move their buggy out the way so you can get past and that kind of thing. some people are just horrible though unfortunately
its not a sahm thing to be like that at all its just those idiots you came across. i am a sahm and i am lovely as are most i know

MrSpoc is right: sounds like a SW London thing. Nappy valley. Home of the professional smug mummy. No excuse, but your odds of getting that sort of thing definitely multiply there.

Yep, some people are arses, nowt to do with gender or 'occupation'.

I second whoever said they were vile trouts. Can I nick that phrase for a spare username?

What hecate said.

However I live in SW London too and I agree, there can be a real 'and YOU are?' attitude going on sometimes. I find that the best way to deal with it is to fight the battles you can (like the buggy one, I would have stood my ground) and perfect my best 'yes I am married to a fuck-off rich hedge fund CEO too, actually' sneer for the playground situation (where I wouldn't). It's not true or possibly helpful in the long run, but it makes me feel more armoured.

I see it all the bloody time. I spend so much time telling my older dc to be careful of little ones in the park, telling all of them not to hog things, to say excuse me, to say sorry if you knock into someone. Then you go to the park and see the most obnoxious behavior and mums saying nothing. I just quietly gloat to myself, well I'd like to see how they turn out in a few years.

Yes,such a SW london thing to happen ...sounds like Putney High street

Born and raised there ,and left when my boys were 2 & 7 ~had lots of crazy experiences like that .

Some of the Mothers in this small midwestern town are a pain ,NOTHING beats Starbucks in good old SW. London !!!!!!!

SORRY your day went so horribly .

Do you Honeybee?

Bibbity is the new bow-ins

How's your dad BTW?

Oh it happens. Sometimes it seems that you meet all the rude people in the same day. And it gets you down.

But tommorrow you might be surprised by kindness.

blow-ins!

In hospital atm with horrific gastric thing, on top of everything else, poor sod. Thanks for asking .

I would have just continued to move the woman's buggy in the coffee shop and told her if she didn't move it out the way, then I would. I'd have also left it just out of her reach!

Not much you can do in the second situation except find out where they live and key their cars

Oh dear. Hope he rallies.

Ah yes 'nappy valley'... We used to live just off Northcote Rd in SW11 (pre-children) and I remember daily battles with the 'professional smug mummies' (as someone put it above) for pavement space without having your legs taken off .

We're SW16 now and people are generally a bit friendlier round here. Perhaps gentrification is setting in, and bringing with it that special brand of person...

Thanks for all the replies, they've cheered me up no end.

Were they Vicky Pollard type mums? You were lucky not to get hit yourself.
Find yourself a nicer crowd but beware the Bowden mums they are the worst!

No they were just normal looking mums. Neither Vicky Pollard nor Bodenesque. I guess they were verging on frumpy, but mainly because of the incredibly grumpy expressions they were wearing.

Bibbitybobbi - Yes, I have encountered some pretty rude behaviour in SE22 since being on maternity leave. On the other hand, I have encountered some really lovely people. I live on the border between SE22 and SE15 and there is some pretty smug parenting and rude behaviour that goes on round here. In fact, had a similar situation to OP in that some people wouldn't move their buggies for me so that I could get past with DS in sling . . . Grrr . . .

"'no, can't you see we're BREASTFEEDING'."

Hahaha sorry I did have a little LOL at that. I'm a very proud BFing mum but that is really funny.

I am a proud BFing mum and can honestly say that BFing does not provide an adequate excuse for being a bitch.

Unfortunately.

The grumpiest of them all was wearing a 'hooter hider' (is that what they're called?). I have never seen one in real life before, only read about them on here. It was quite a sight and certainly advertised in no uncertain terms that she was BFing.

Not sure why she bothered, the place was packed with BFing mums as it usually is. I've breastfed in there many a time (and had planned to do so again) but I guess she just saw DD in the front of the buggy and had no idea there was a 4wk old in the back of the P&T...