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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

in telling DS that God didn't make him, actually, I did.

173 replies

bintofbohemia · 06/04/2011 17:44

(With some input from DH, obviously.) He's at a C of E school because we've recently moved and it was Hobsons Choice, C of E or Catholic. He's 4 and a half and started school at a really good, diverse, secular school, then we moved and he is now being taught that God is a man who made everything and he has to pray 3 times a day and is being taught god knows what else.

It just really irks me. What worries me the most is that yes, when he gets older he'll probably make his own mind up but that if he's being taught all this stuff as fact alongside his abc and numbers (which actually are real things) he's liable to find that he absorbs all this stuff and it becomes his default setting, IYSWIM. I'm not an atheist or anti Christian but I do have problems with faith schools and children being taught this stuff at such an impressionable age.

I'm tempted to pull him out of assemblies etc but I don't know if it's the right thing to do, and they'd still get him in classes anyway no doubt.

Anyone else have this?

OP posts:
Roseflower · 07/04/2011 22:30

Ha ha Gooseberry. Sadly predicitable isn't it?

Gooseberrybushes · 07/04/2011 22:33

whingy whingy whinge whinge three bags full

Roseflower · 07/04/2011 22:38

Then strangely enough, literally three minutes after posting another poster suddenly comes gushing, telling everyone that they have picked SGB as some marverlous poster with great opinions.

Strange that...

Gooseberrybushes · 07/04/2011 22:41

oh my goodness who did that? should I read?

Roseflower · 07/04/2011 22:43

Its happened way too many times...

Gooseberrybushes · 07/04/2011 22:45

I've never really taken stream of consciousness abuse that seriously. Maybe i'm missing out on some "great opinions".

Gooseberrybushes · 07/04/2011 22:47

Actually Rose I think perhaps we aren't being suitably deferential.

MrBloomEatsVeggies · 07/04/2011 22:49

Wahey, bunfight Grin

vintageteacups · 07/04/2011 22:56

I honestly don't think that religious schools have a place in our modern society. Schools were obviously set up by the church originally but now, it's gone too far.

Our school is just like your's OP but I've brainwashed my two to my atheist ways Wink.

madhairday · 07/04/2011 22:57

Disabled Toilets, P&C Spaces, Dog Shit, and now Faith Schools. All on one day in AIBU. My cup runneth over Grin

Seriously though I do think most church schools are pretty laid back places with a nice fairly woolly ethos of being nice to people and respecting everyone. If there are a few that scare the crap out of children with threats of hell and present religion as fact it's a shame because the minority is overshadowing the minority with such tactics, and are in direct opposition to what following Christ is all about in any case. Sigh. Hope you're able to have a good conversation with the teacher OP and come to a decision that helps you.

FWIW, dh did an assembly yesterday for Easter (non faith school), talked a bit about Easter Eggs and what Christians believe then got them all to think about being thankful for celebrations and for spring and flowers and Easter Eggs. Suitably woolly and non-threatening? No brimstone in sight Grin

Roseflower · 07/04/2011 23:01

I've brainwashed my two to my atheist ways

Seriously? Or said in jest?

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 07/04/2011 23:04

Hope your H reminded them that Easter's a pagan fertility festival hijacked by Christians Wink.

seeker · 07/04/2011 23:04

Can I just ask the Christians on here a question. Would you be happy if you lived in a country where you couldn't send your child to a school that didn't expect him to make an invocation to the Goddess every day? And if you said "I don;t want him to worship a pagan goddess" everyone said "Oh, don;t be silly, it's only words. And anyway, we were all pagans once upon a time - it's important that we all learn about our heritage'?

Gooseberrybushes · 07/04/2011 23:05

Surely there's nothing wrong in that kind of brainwashing? only the religious kind of brainwashing. Get with the programme Rose Grin

vintageteacups · 07/04/2011 23:06

Roseflower obviously said in jest (hence the Wink.

However, I've explained to them that not everyone believe the same thing and that God didn't make them etc. I tell them that bible stories (which they know really well) are probably not all true but based on some things which may have happened and then are used to teach people how they should be kind to each other.

I have told them what I believe and dd (9) has chosen to believe the same thing. DS (6) doesn't believe in a God but thinks Jesus was real.

Gooseberrybushes · 07/04/2011 23:07

I've lived in loads of countries and I wouldn't mind. Tis a culture-tolerant thing. We'd be at church on a Sunday anyway so it wouldn't matter.

vintageteacups · 07/04/2011 23:09

Our school teaches it as fact.
When ds joined recpetion OMG the stuff he used to come home and spout whilst having tea. Me and DH had to try really hard not to giggle. Bless him - he said the exact same thing as OP's ds - the teachers told me so it must be true. I was Shock

madhairday · 07/04/2011 23:11

Good question seeker, and yes I would be unhappy, but I guess the difference is that most faith schools (I have experience of a fair few) teach tolerance, respect and about different religions, and the 'prayer' is not forcing dc into 'invocations' but generally fluffy stuff about loving animals and being nice to each other. However, I appreciate your point of view, and can see that if you feel like that it must be incredibly frustrating for you that most schools have the collective worship thing going on.

SGB hehe. No funnily enough he didn't talk about pagan origins et al. He saves that for the alpha courses where he beats everyone who is into that kind of stuff with a big stick and tells them they will all go to hell if they don't get converted.

Roseflower · 07/04/2011 23:15

Fair enough vintage and the best approach.

manicinsomniac · 07/04/2011 23:45

To be honest I think most 4 and 5 year olds will believe in God if told about him because it helps them make sense of a world that is hard when you're too young to get science.

However, the percentage of children who believe in God dwindles and dwindles as they get older until not that many older teens and adults believe at all.

I teach in in an independent school where there is chapel most days of the week and church services at least twice a term. I would say almost 100% of the 4 year olds believe in God. My class are 10 and 11 - I think maybe 25-50% of them believe in God. Of our 13 year olds - maybe 20% at best.

In the end I don't think being told something at school is going to determine your adult world view.

CalamityKate · 07/04/2011 23:56

Mine come home talking about "GodWhoLivesInOurHearts" (all one word, just like that Grin ) and other such whimsy, and asking things like "Is God actually REAL?" and I just say some people think he is, but nobody knows for sure.

solo · 08/04/2011 00:00

I have brought my Ds up a Catholic, but he has chosen over the last few years not to follow the Catholic church ~ though he's still a Christian. He's 12 and has made up his own mind and I think most people do tbh.

SpringchickenGoldBrass · 08/04/2011 10:23

I can see that most small DC will believe in gods when told about them, because gods are just like Father Christmas and the Tooth Fiary (there is indeed NO difference really. APart from belief in those two and similar figures being a lot less toxic...) and the natural next stage in development is to grow out of the whole lot when your brain matures. Some people don't get beyond that stage though.

JanMorrow · 08/04/2011 10:31

I went to a primary school where we learnt about God and said the lord's prayer every morning and then on to a school which was fairly religious- lots of prayers and hymn singing in assembly and learning the bible in R.E lessons (which were actually called Scripture at that point). I've turned out ok, and stated on the recent census that I didn't have a religion, so I wouldn't worry TOO much.

puffling · 08/04/2011 10:39

It will have absolutely no effect on him as an adult. If you want the nice school, you have to accept the baggage.

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