to throw this book in the bin?

[warzone]

It was a present for my 2yr old dd. It is called "Be the best ever princess!" The 'content' (ha!) basically involves wearing pink dresses, eating pink cakes, living in a pink castle, being waited on hand and foot, having parties all the time, being the most beautiful of all girls and, of course, meeting a handsome prince.

Would it be ridiculous of me to throw the book in the bin on the grounds that these are the opposite values I want to teach my dd?

I am hesitating because a) it was a present and b) dd seems to like it.

My dd2 (4) has princess books. She also has books on dinosaurs, animals, Star Wars (she's a big fan!) etc etc. Surely it's about balance? And variety? A bit like what you eat....

This book is total crap.

Isn't the best way to become a princess to have your parents send you to a pukka boarding school, then do History of Art at a university beloved by sloanes, then hang around for ages until you cannot be ignored any longer

My nephew has Strawberry Shortcake books because he likes them. And he has an Upsy Daisy dressing up set because he likes that too. He also has books on Fireman Sam etc.....I don't see the problem?

What lesbian characters were you ever exposed to? Playing with guns and wearing crappy clothes have nothing to do with lesbians if that what you think.

Dittany Im referring to howe parents stereotype their kids more thyan books,toys ever do. the point of lesbians was being sarcastic

theres is plenty of fear boys playing with pink girls stuff will turn then gay, its works the other way too.

The problem is that they are not equal and opposite. Fireman Sam books say that male characters get to do brave things and have adventures. Books like the one the OP mentions say that females wait for men to solve their problems.

My daughter likes pink - which is just as well as, in this country, it would be quite hard to dress her if she didn't. And it's fine that she likes pink, it's just another colour.

But she doesn't think that being pink makes something BETTER or (God forbid) more "appropriate" for girls. I know she doesn't because she has voiced such opinions second-hand before and I have gently but firmly told her it's bollocks.

And she certainly doesn't think that adventures, fun and bravery are only for boys.

Upsy Daisy, whatever her other faults, is NOT a princess. She does stuff. she interacts with males on an equal footing.

Princesses waiting for a princess to sweep them away do fuck all. THAT'S the issue, not the fact that she wears a skirt or long hair.

Princesses waiting for a prince, I mean - as Dittany says, there aren't too many lesbians in children's books ...

There aren't too many gay men either.....

Well, no - that's because all gay men are paedophiles, clearly. Can't have THEM in kids' books.

There is actually a nice children's book in French by Nathalie Hense called "Marre du rose" (Fed up of pink) by Nathalie Hense which is all about being different as a small child - but I can't see an English translation anywhere.

The question isn't, though, is the world stereotyped through gender and are girls boxed in by beliefs about their appearance and marrying 'well' (answer: yes) but would removing this one book make any difference to this particular girl given these very pervasive cultural features? My answer would be no, you can't go out anywhere without seeing books/other children's clothes and shoes/shops full of princessy pink stuff and therefore it may require a more sophisticated response than to send it to the charity shop.

By the way, if you believe the book to be that destructive, I would not send it to the charity shop, I would bin it. But I really haven't binned any books yet (not even the children's ones from my husband's country in which they have animals with guns, they are big on hunting). Cue lots of discussion.

Someone bought DD this book for her birthday (6), 2 months ago. We read it once together and she has never referred to it since, much preferring to keep up with what's happening to 'the biting baby' in A Series of Unfortunate Events... she loves pink and princesses, but her princesses have to have a bit of something about them, and if they don't get involved with dragon-slaying and mountain-climbing she makes me put it in the story...

We were at Warwick Castle yesterday and after visiting the poorly paid actress princess and chatting about balls and dragons, in the gift shop she headed straight past the pink princess gear to pick up a plastic knight's helmet and a (foam and fabric) morning star so I wouldn't worry too much, OP, your home influences will have far more impact than a silly, poorly-written book!

get this one instead - "the paper bag princess "
www.google.co.uk/products/catalog?hl=en&q=princess+paper+book&rlz=1I7ADSA_en&um=1&ie=UTF-8&cid=7653168811890964380&sa=X&ei=jMiZTfazKse6hAeT97HyCA&ved=0CC0Q8wIwAg#

"By Robert N. Munsch, Michael Martchenko - Annick Press (2003) - Book - ISBN 0920236162

a prince is kidnapped by a dangerous dragon, and the dragon's breath burns up all the clothes in the palace. The princess who loves the prince can only find a paper bag to wear when she goes to rescue her love. Cleverly tricking the dragon, she enters the cave where the prince, still beautifully dressed, is held captive. Is true love rewarded? No! He at once complains she's "a disaster" badly dressed, dirty and all messed up. She replies that he is a fine and handsome prince--but completely useless. "And, in the end, they didn't marry."

it is on mazon too
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0920236162/ref=asc_df_09202361622480355?smid=A3P5ROKL5A1OLE&tag=googlecouk06-21&linkCode=asn&creative=22206&creativeASIN=0920236162
"First published in 1980 and with over four million copies in print, The Paper Bag Princess (the story of a resourceful princess and her useless prince) has captured the hearts of readers young and old all around the world. The New York Times called it ""one of the best children's books ever written"" and it has appeared countless times on ""best books"" lists. The story reverses the ""princess and dragon"" folklore stereotype and celebrates feisty females everywhere, making it a firm favourite with female readers of all ages, as well as women's groups, teachers and librarians. "

I love that book. I have a boy, but buy The Paper Bag Princess for little girls whenever I see it.

Don't ever throw books away, charity shop them. If you're like me then you probably think a bit of pink and princess this and that is ok. But a book which is packed full of spewy twinkle, no, I couldn't bring myself to keep it in the house.

I would wait untill your DD is bored of it and is interested in other books.

Of course YANBU. But - as others have said - this kind of stuff is hard to avoid unless you're going to censor relentlessly. I realise as an adult how psychologically limiting the Cinderella fantasy is (your way out of an awful situation is by being rescued by magic, beauty and a man). At the same time, I loved the pictures in my Ladybird Cinderella book as a child and feel it's mean-spirited to deny my own DDs that pleasure. Confused? Perhaps. But I do think the best strategy is to let them have their pink and princessy stories if they want, just to make sure they are properly counterbalanced by feisty women in literature and your own example in making it clear that feminity is not the same as being a woman (and the forthcoming royal wedding shennanigans are a brilliant opportunity for critiquing the whole aspiring to be a princess thing, surely?)

My DS likes pink sparkly things, chuck it my way. He's only 16 months and I reckon it'll go nicely with his dinosaur books.

Hooray for Pink Stinks!

OP, YANBU. There is a big move on in our society to re-socialise girls back into housewives and ditzy consumers. The ubiquitous princess character (as opposed to the long list of amazing career characters they present to boys), the rise and rise of the WAG (substitute footballer for prince), schoolgirls aspiring to be page-three girls... all the toys in the girl's section being pink, etc, etc is creating a new generation that ultimately grows up to want to marry a rich guy, who buys you a new (mud-free) Range Rover or Porsche Cayenne every year so you can drive it (badly) to the school gate, where you present your next-gen princess to the teachers, whilst tearing up the playground safety surface with your high-heels, before flouncing off to the gym and/or coffee morning.

Ditch the book.

I'd keep it. She might misunderstand and think your trying to say being a girl is something to be ashamed of. she's unlikely to understand that its the life style that you object to.

If its just part of a selection of books about what girls do then she'll learn everyone is different and most likely she'll choose to be like her mum. One book isn't going to undo your influence on her.

After the day I've had I quite fancy eating pink cakes in a pink castle and being waited on had and foot. Fortunately I've already met a my handsome prince. I hope he brings me home some pink wine.

Somebody up-thread asked how my dd's dad had reacted to the book. I believe his exact words on reading it were: 'aspirational shit.' After a short discussion, we agreed that the recycle bin was the best place for it. In fact, it was him that did the dreadful deed.