to not want relatives with cold sores kissing our baby.

[chrispt]

I asked my wife whether we should talk to her sister about kissing DS. She does a playful kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss-kiss all over him which makes him laugh. she never kisses him when cold sores are showing but i know you can catch them without a visible outbreak.

Am i being unreasonable to not want my son to be afflicted with this?
Am i being unreasonable to not want to catch an STI from my own son?!?

Argh!

"You never got the virus when kissed - why should your son?"

People obviously get cold sores, so SOME people must get them through kissing those with the virus.

Does anyone have stats on transmission from those who have the dormant virus but get no outbreaks?

We're just assuming here that it's the same transmission risk, but is it? I can find any journal articles on this subject atm. Will keep you posted!

CANT!

Lesley, we have never let anyone kiss our babies. I kissed them, but then I had STI tests done before getting pregnant.

Milly, you are not a Dr, you have already admitted that, & I think your understanding of the different strains of virus isn't very clear, if you read the cold sore link it should clarify it for you

& FWIW, I remember a conversation amongst friends about this years ago, another friend knew someone else who was over reacting to cold sores in a similar way to the OP, our friend who IS a Doctor & this is her area of expertise laughed her socks at it

& trust me, I don't take the HSV viruses lightly I know they can be dangerous, but one "sheds" more easily than the other, & the most common cause of cold sores is the 1 that sheds only when active - most commonly when the blister has actually burst - THEN it can be passed on, but not otherise

so stand by my YBVVVU response

There are lots of things that have killed or badly hurt a bay or child that are very rare. In order to live a normal life IMO we all need to acknowledge that some things are very rare and only pay attention to those things that are a real risk.

So smoking around babies, leaving paddling pools with water in around porrly supervised toddlers; leaving small things on the fllor like peanuts or pen tops - these are things that have a real risk and therefore as parents we need to avoid happening.

However, being struck by lightening (so not going out in a storm including in a car), bitten by an adder in britain (so avoiding any long grass) and getting the cold sore virus (so not letting someone who has the virus but no cold sore kiss your baby) are tiny tiny tiny risks and therefore IMO need to be ignored.

I have read the link, and I don't think it backs up what you are saying. I would advise people to read the links for themselves rather than assessing risk based on some comments on a thread.

MillyR - sorry but I think you are really OTT not to have let anyone else kiss your baby.

At least 70-80% of population has HSV. Some get cold sores, some dont. Its almost entirely the case that your genetic profile determines whether you do (develop lesions) or not. Just because you don't, doesn't mean that you aren't infected and don't spread the virus, so stop stressing (and making people with visible lesions feel bad). Trying to "protect" your kids from HSV is like trying to stop them from getting chicken pox (also a herpes virus). i.e. pointless and doomed to failure. Accept that its out there, it happens, and it down to your DNA whether you will show any external sign of that or not.,

So would I MillyR

hopefully their understanding of the Cold sore explanation will be better than your own

& I too think you were OTT to not have let anyone kiss your baby, that smacks of undiagnosed OCD :(

"25% of babies under a month who catch the herpes virus die"
MillyR - Where is this stat from?

sausage

i want to know the STATS! Is it actually easy to transmit the virus if you dont get outbreaks? Does the same viral shedding happen?

ES, Canadian Paediatric society. It is a reportable disease in babies, in some countries.

MillyR - can you post the link please?

Viral shedding is more likely during an active outbreak, but can continue without any outward sign. Yes, if you rub your face in an active lesion the liklihood of transmission if greater (see The Southpark Episode), but the point is that symptom-free individuals can also pass it on, hence the high rate of exposure of the general population.

Those Canadian journals seem to be tracking cases where the mother has HSV

"Risk factors for neonatal herpes simplex virus disease include first-episode maternal infection in the third trimester, invasive monitoring, delivery before 38 weeks, and maternal age of less than 21 years"

www.herpes-coldsores.com/cold_sores.htm#When_are_cold_sores_most_contagious

its in this Link - the risk of "shedding" at other times is seen in cold sores caused by the Genital Herpes Virus - which are MUCH less common

New York State Department of Health

"About 70 percent of all adults in the U.S. are infected with HSV-1 and may shed virus in their saliva at any time during their lifetime, even if they don't have symptoms like sores in the mouth or cold sores."

Interesting actually. My mum has cold sores but me or my brother do, i expect we're just shedding the virus onto our toothbrushes everyday!

dont! i mean arrggggh

it's too late

OP just do what you want, it's your baby, you call the shots

My bedtime :)

YANBU to not want your baby to catch herpes from your SIL - but you are BVU to assume it's an STI.

Also, I doubt very much that your SIL would want to inflict herpes on your baby - most sufferers know when they have an imminent cold sore, DH certainly does, and he keeps well clear from me and DS whenever he feels the tingle. He bungs the Zovirax on asap, and we usually wait for at least 3 days afterwards just to make sure before making mouth skin contact with him again.

The State Dept of Health says that it can be passed in the saliva? That surprises me, always read it's skin to skin or from the fluid in the sores. If it was so prevalent in saliva wouldn't they have developed an HSV saliva test similar to an HIV saliva test?

here - read this, OP and pass it on to your SIL if you can do so without upsetting her.

Millyr you really don't get it! 'I had Sti tests before I got pregnant'- great, but you won't have got tested for whether you are one of the 70 to 80 percent of the population who carries it up their nose or in their ear canal, unless you underwent a really quite peculiar series of prenatal tests. So better stop kissing your baby right now, just in case.

Sorry, I shouldn't joke, from the level of ignorance on this thread there's a possibility someone might take me seriously.

The Herpes virus is divided into two types: HSV type 1 and HSV type 2. HSV1 primarily causes cold sores, while HSV2 primarily causes genital infections.

Herpes is contracted through direct contact with an active lesion. So, if she doesn't kiss him when she has a cold sore or has one coming on (and as a cold sore sufferer you do know when one is coming on) she won't pass it on.

You are being very silly, PFB and unreasonable

lesley that's interesting that you used to get herpes infections in your eye too. I've never met anyone who's had this, so thankfully it must be quite rare!

Did you actually get a lesion? When I got an outbreak on my eye it was actually not visible at all, it was an infection on my cornea and the symptoms were that light hurt my eye more and more until I had to keep my eye closed and then it would go away after about 5-7 days, just like a cold sore.

I had my first outbreak when I was three but as you say that was 1980 and the doctor didn't know what it was, he thought it was conjunctivitus. They even gave me glasses, stupid people! So every time I had an outbreak it left bad scarring.

I think I was about 7 years old when they realised it was herpes and as you say I had to use Zovirax. However, as you know Zovirax does not actually cure the outbreak, it just lessens it if you are lucky, there is no actual cure for cold sores. So even though I used Zovirax and had specialists looking at my eye all the time and I was hospitalised for observation, there was nothing anyone could actually do to stop the infection or to stop me from going blind if I was unlucky.

Anyway, this is rare and I don't want to freak anyone out, Milly is right in that all this is down to luck and taking all the precautions you can. I certainly think not allowing anyone to kiss your baby is ott, but I certainly wouldn't be blase about the virus either and am careful to constantly wash hands, use a different towel, and be careful with cutlery and cups etc when I have an out break and for days afterwards, and I would urge others to do the same. It's not just about kissing.

petisa - I knew someone who got chickenpox in their eyes - it caused corneal scarring! horrible, hey.