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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be pissed of with DP re mothers day presents...

37 replies

Cher87 · 01/04/2011 13:35

for mothers day we have got both our mums a lovely professionlal pic of DS and bought a lovely frame from John Lewis. We have got them both a card from me and DP and a seperate one from DS.

DP has not long got home from work having popped to asda on his way and got some fowers for his mum for mothers day too! I am really pissed of as I feel there was no need to get her flowers too, AND they cost £15!! My mum wont be getting flowers aswell as we cannot afford another bunch! So on top of the £20 frame and the picture (they were bought as a package so couldnt say what that cost) and lunch I was planning to do for PIL on sunday he has gone and spent more on flowers!

Now I was planning on getting both my Nans a nice little token gift ie pot plant or something similar from all of us. But I am abit Sad now as we arent rolling in it (I'm currently on MAT leave) and feel he has just spent away over half of the budget I was going to have for my Nans on flowers for his mum when we have already got her a nice present!!

Am I being an emotional tight arse???

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 13:38

Tell him how you feel and see what he says.

Desperateforthinnerthighs · 01/04/2011 13:39

Well in the nicest possible way YAB a bit U

It's his mum and if he wants to get her a nice bunch of flowers then so be it...............(this'll be your DS in years to come buying you an extra bunch - how pleased will you be Wink)

Let him be a nice son and dont nag him about it - it's mothers day, not nans day!

DoingTheBestICan · 01/04/2011 13:40

Tell him,but i dont really get this whole buying for everyone on Mothers day,i never bought my Nana a gift for Mothers Day cos she wasn't my Mum.

valiumredhead · 01/04/2011 13:41

How would you feel OP if he was cross because you had bought YOUR mum a bunch of flowers?

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/04/2011 13:41

Agree 100% with desperate. I do think you are going a bit over the top with grandmother's too.

Jins · 01/04/2011 13:44

Who decided to buy the pictures for them? Maybe he doesn't think it's much of a present

HampstersDontSwim · 01/04/2011 13:45

Ummm......
Do you think the flowers might be for you?

Have a think before you have a go at him Grin

thisisyesterday · 01/04/2011 13:46

agree with desperate too.
he is entitled to buy stuff for his mum on mothers' day

i really do't get the whole grandparent thing either. surely your parents ad their siblings will be getting stuff for your grandparents?

what about his grandparents? or are they dead?

MorticiaAddams · 01/04/2011 13:46

YABU, he wanted to buy his mum something from himself.

I don't understand why you would want to buy something for your nans or why you would give your own mothers cards from your ds. It seems a waste of money at the best of times, more so if money is tight.

We only send our cards from ourselves, I don't put Gomez on mine let alone dc.

Original poster
Cher87 · 01/04/2011 13:47

Buying for my nan's is just something that I have always done. Which is why I do the same from DS on birthdays etc.

Desperateforthinnerthighs I see you point and you are right I would be very pleased! Smile

To be honest I wouldnt usually care but as I said money is alittle tight at the moment! I think I will maybe say something as I am annoyed but I see what your saying and it wont be the end of the world if I dont get my Nans a gift!

OP posts:
Original poster
Cher87 · 01/04/2011 13:52

yes his grandparents are no longer with us.

HampstersDontSwim I hadnt thought of that!

Okay maybe I am being unreasonable!! It was indeed my idea to get the pictures framed and give them, but in my defence he agreed and thought it was a good Idea!

OP posts:
ChaoticAngelofDenial · 01/04/2011 14:01

Actually I don't think you're BU.

The DP spends money on a bunch of flowers for his DM but the OP will be unable to do the same/something similar because they now don't have enough money left.

thisisyesterday · 01/04/2011 14:04

but the op didn't want to get her mum flowers so it doesn't matter does it
she was happy with what she had got her mum, and that's what matters surely?
if he decided he wanted a extra thing that' up to him surely?

jeckadeck · 01/04/2011 14:15

YABU. You are also risking being seen as controlling. Imagine if he started trying to police how much you spent on various family members. Buying for nans is sweet but somewhat irregular and you can't expect him to give that budget priority over his mum.

orangeeyebrows · 01/04/2011 14:16

how lovely of him to buy something for his mum just from him :)

and why buy BOTH YOUR nans something? they arent your mum

MerryMarigold · 01/04/2011 14:18

I think you're BVU. Mother's Day is not about spending money, but that is obviously the culture you're going for here. The flowers are a mere add-on to all the rest and pretty negligible I think.

I think a card from ds for YOUR Mum is ridiculous. And presents for your Grandmothers likewise, (unless maybe they have no living children or something v sad like that).

MerryMarigold · 01/04/2011 14:21

(Sorry, not in the best mood).

Also, if money is tight why would you buy picture frames in John Lewis? It doesn't add up to me!

Original poster
Cher87 · 01/04/2011 14:23

I do understand what you are saying re buying for my Nan's. As I have said this is just something that I have always done, and dont feel there is any wrong in it and do not think it should take priority over his mum.

She has a present (a nice one at that) and feel that spending a further £15 on flowers is unessasary! But accept that I am being unreasonable!

OP posts:
IAmTheCookieMonster · 01/04/2011 14:25

I send my granny a mothers day card.

thisisyesterday · 01/04/2011 14:27

in the future i would do what dp and i do.

i do my family, he does his!

so figure out your budget and spend it on your mum/nan/whoever and let him worry about his own mum that way you're both happy :)

Bringonthegoat · 01/04/2011 14:28

YANBU - if money is tight and you agreed a way of spending it, it is unfair for one partner to spend in site of the agreement. It is nice that he got his mum flowers but only if you can afford it. Am Confused that anyone thinks it's OK for a couple to agree how to spend their money and one partner just to ignore it Hmm

megapixels · 01/04/2011 14:39

So you do cards, presents and a meal at home for your mum and MIL and cards and flowers for your grandmother too. YABU for doing so much for Mother's Day :). That's probably why something as tiny as buying your dp's mum flowers from himself seems like such a big issue!

HappyMummyOfOne · 01/04/2011 16:22

Maybe he just wanted to treat his mum, why shouldn't he? A picture of a grandchild is nice but its not really a present from him to express his thoughts on Mothers day.

zukiecat · 01/04/2011 16:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MumSecret · 01/04/2011 16:40

Zuckiecat, do they sell those tickets for MILs?
I would gladly blow the Mothers day budget on one of them!

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