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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I need a flaming - I am the crazy woman in Asda.....

117 replies

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 10:28

If you were the woman I approached in Asda then please accept my apology for being an interfering idiot!

Whilst looking in the baby aisle in Asda, a young couple (complete strangers) were choosing a mixture of gifts for a friend who had just given birth or who was just about to, and they were discussing what to get - to me they seemed to be a little unsure (honest, they did) so, big fat mouth Me barged in there with - "excuse me, I'd get item B instead of item A (item A which was already in basket) because (and this is where the sin is committed) I've just had a baby and I don't use item A"

So, female says with a steely gaze "Well, I always use item A with my daughter so therefore I'll stick with what I know thanks"

Of course I apologised, asked them to call me a cheeky bitch - and ran away!

a) What gives me the right to question someones gift for someone I don't even know!
b) Just because I use item B doesn't mean everyone does
c) What made me think that I was the only woman in the world ever to have had a baby!
d) oh, I could go on - but please MN, flame me into a namechange....:)

I was being an unreasonable, interfering cow! I keep asking myself Why??

I know that I'm not the only person in the world to have had a child, I know this! Why I felt the need to interfere in this way I will never know but the words were out my mouth before I could even process my thoughts.

FWIW I went round the corner, dumped my trolley and left Asda immediately - for fear of bumping into them again - I am so embarrassed!

OP posts:
Onetoomanycornettos · 01/04/2011 10:31

Well you've made me chuckle this morning, so it's not all bad.

TobyLerone · 01/04/2011 10:32

You weren't rude. She was. You know this.

iwantadogbutarabbitwoulddo · 01/04/2011 10:32

hahahahahahaha

You'll never do it again. This is what life is about, you made a mistake and feel stupid. You don't need flaming

MardyBra · 01/04/2011 10:34

YABU for not finishing your shopping. Be more brazen!

Punkatheart · 01/04/2011 10:35

I live in the south east and I am always amazed how unfriendly people are, how hostile here. If you had done that in Wales, you would be have been there for half an hour - with pictures of your children out. Different planet, the south east. But no one would have taken offence.

Mumwithadragontattoo · 01/04/2011 10:37

Don't be embarrassed you were only trying to help. I once told a couple (she was heavily pg) who were talking about the merits of various newborn nappies what I had found to be the case. That own brand nappies are as good as branded. But really shouldn't have been interfering. You just can't help yourself sometimes when you overhear something.

Having said that the first time DH and I went shopping with our DD I had no idea what to do with her and a stranger gave me a hand made blanket to put in the trolley so she would be comfy and warm. Three years later I still have that blanket and use it for both my DCs. I always feel so happy about the kindness of strangers when I look at it. So sometimes 'interfering' is appreciated.

TobyLerone · 01/04/2011 10:37

YABU for shopping in Asda. I only shop there when I want to feel better about myself.

Bogeyface · 01/04/2011 10:37

Well most people would smile, say that they used it themselves and Oh, isnt it difficult to choose as everyone is different, say thank you and buy it anyway!

So she was a bit snotty, and you were only trying to help! I wouldnt have reacted like that, infact I havent when people think I am having my first as I dont have a toddler with me when I am out shopping! I just smile, nod and thank them. Or if I am feeling slightly put out I will laugh and say that I already have 5 so I think I will cope, and enjoy the look of shock on their faces. I certainly wouldnt be rude like this woman was to you!

BendyBob · 01/04/2011 10:40

Lol this topic has morphed into self-flagellation and is now 'I am being unreasonable. Kick me' Grin

ChildofIsis · 01/04/2011 10:42

I also suffer from runaway words.
An old friend was commenting on my weight loss and asked what triggered my diet and I said 'Well one of us had to do it!'
She was a little chubby, (a lovely, friendly person) but I still have no idea why I said it and it still makes me cringe when I remember it.

Hassled · 01/04/2011 10:42

What was item A and what was item B? You can't possibly get a thorough flaming until we know what ridiculous baby item you were recommending. We need ALL the facts to judge effectively.

Quenelle · 01/04/2011 10:45

YANBU She was unnecessarily rude.

I was looking at breast pumps in Boots when I was heavily pregnant, getting in a right old tizz about which to buy with which bottles etc etc. A woman came up to me and said 'I hope you don't think I'm interfering but you're probably best to wait until after you've had your baby before worrying about breast pumps.'

And of course she was right. I didn't buy the expensive electric one I was looking at. After I'd had DS and was ready to try expressing I bought a cheap manual one which suited me fine. She saved me a fortune that day.

The rule is always smile and nod. People don't mean any harm when offering advice. And they might be really helpful.

That was a lovely gesture with the handmade blanket mumwithadragontattoo.

BluddyMoFo · 01/04/2011 10:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Birdsgottafly · 01/04/2011 10:45

Don't give advice unless it's asked for!. I was buying follow on milk for my underweight puppy and got a lecture from another shopper. I was quite sharp as i have had around three hours sleep, night training my pup. Its been thirteen years since i've felt this exhausted fussyness! I feel embarassed by my sharpness though Blush

Original poster
MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 10:49

MardyBra - I honestly could not bear bumping into the couple in the aisles again. I suppose I'm even more embarrassed about not finishing my shopping!

You've been lovely you disappoint me MN, where's FabbyChic when you need a good arse-kicking Grin

If someone had approached me before I'd given birth and said, this is what I'd use etc etc, I would've been really chuffed - so I reckon that's where my line of thinking was...

And, I've lived in England for 3 years now and don't have many friends who have not been inherited from DP's family etc so I pretty much nod, smile, chat to anyone.

Toby - Asda is convenient however I am finding it difficult to afford these days.

OP posts:
Original poster
MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 10:50

Oh Hassled - I knew someone would ask that!!!!

Item A was a fleece blanket
Item B was a shawl

Go on then - Flame away Grin

OP posts:
Eglu · 01/04/2011 10:52

Please tell us what the items were.

ScarlettWalking · 01/04/2011 10:54

Someone did this to me when I was buying bottles, She recommended tt bottles and they were fantastic. I think it's nice and appreciated it i had just given birth and didn't have a clue!

exquisiy · 01/04/2011 10:56

childofIsis I love that! Wish you were my friend that would certainly help me to get started... I wish! Grin

OP Grin haven't we all done it or very similar or will do at sometime! Thanks for the laugh Grin

TobyLerone · 01/04/2011 10:58

I'd rather have had the fleece blanket.

chuffinheck · 01/04/2011 11:01

Hilarious :)

Original poster
MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 11:02

Toby - exactly my point! Different people use different things :)

Why I felt the need to impose my preference on someone else I'll never know.

It's just that I have lots of fleece blankets in the house not used (in a charity bag at the moment) but I am forever washing dd's shawls and could do with a few more....

Toby - may I ask what you use the fleece blankets for? I have a lot of crocheted blankets which dd uses in her cot and a sleeping bag style thing for out in the buggy.... (I'm curious is all) This is the conversation I'd have liked to have in the supermarket....

OP posts:
Sidge · 01/04/2011 11:02

You were mad but she was abrupt so even stevens Grin

I quite like the unprompted conversations with strangers. I ended up spending ages with an elderly partially sighted lady last night who asked if I could help her find the right Dove soap as she found it hard to tell them apart, we had a right giggle choosing soaps and I went away with a warm fuzzy.

Original poster
MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 11:03

that's my problem - I crave the warm fuzzy!

OP posts:
BrainSurgeon · 01/04/2011 11:03

OP I feel a connection here, not only we namechanged together but I am very prone to exactly that kind of thing...

I don't know... why do we do it?
I know we mean well but still, when will we ever learn?