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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I need a flaming - I am the crazy woman in Asda.....

117 replies

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 10:28

If you were the woman I approached in Asda then please accept my apology for being an interfering idiot!

Whilst looking in the baby aisle in Asda, a young couple (complete strangers) were choosing a mixture of gifts for a friend who had just given birth or who was just about to, and they were discussing what to get - to me they seemed to be a little unsure (honest, they did) so, big fat mouth Me barged in there with - "excuse me, I'd get item B instead of item A (item A which was already in basket) because (and this is where the sin is committed) I've just had a baby and I don't use item A"

So, female says with a steely gaze "Well, I always use item A with my daughter so therefore I'll stick with what I know thanks"

Of course I apologised, asked them to call me a cheeky bitch - and ran away!

a) What gives me the right to question someones gift for someone I don't even know!
b) Just because I use item B doesn't mean everyone does
c) What made me think that I was the only woman in the world ever to have had a baby!
d) oh, I could go on - but please MN, flame me into a namechange....:)

I was being an unreasonable, interfering cow! I keep asking myself Why??

I know that I'm not the only person in the world to have had a child, I know this! Why I felt the need to interfere in this way I will never know but the words were out my mouth before I could even process my thoughts.

FWIW I went round the corner, dumped my trolley and left Asda immediately - for fear of bumping into them again - I am so embarrassed!

OP posts:

JaneS · 01/04/2011 11:04

Oh, don't worry! If it'd been me I'd have been glad of you saying it - she could be the one woman in the world who's ever used a blanket, I guess?

I love it when people chat properly.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/04/2011 11:08

I love it when people chat properly, sadly people chat properly to me and I don't understand them fully.

Original poster

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 11:08

BrainSurgeon - something rings a bell here...did you try for rocketscientist then take quantumphysicist?

If so, then BrainSurgeon rolls of the tongue nicely!

See, I'm a master at aimless dull conversation

OP posts:

TobyLerone · 01/04/2011 11:09

I used fleece blankets for all sorts of things. I don't really like faffy shawls (although I was given a couple of lovely ones), and I never really wrapped my babies in anything. I used fleece blankets in the pram/buggy, to tuck around them if they were in the sling, to lay over them if they were having a sleep in the day, to lie on on the floor...

I forget now. I'm My children are old.

Eglu · 01/04/2011 11:11

I've never used a shawl, had a couple. Have loads of fleece blankets and used them a lot.

Underachieving · 01/04/2011 11:13

Shocking! I think you should be made to stay in, give 80% of your income to charity and self flagelate 3 times a day for the next month.

Too busy? Oh Ok then, just try not to do it again. (Or do it with a big friendly smile on your face like you're so happy you could faint, it somehow seems cruel to be sharp with someone smiling at you like a long lost aunty.)

whatsallthehullaballoo · 01/04/2011 11:22

I think you should have insisted that she buy the shawl. I mean - what was she thinking?? In fact, I would have followed her round the store waving it around and demanding to know what kind of a mother her friend will make if she doesn't have a shawl.

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/04/2011 11:23

I am that mother, poor DD didn't have a shawl.

BrainSurgeon · 01/04/2011 11:27

Yep that's me, thanks, glad you like it

chickchickchicken · 01/04/2011 11:28

i like people like you. we could have a meaninglessful conversation in the supermarket
punkatheart i am welsh too and find it easy to chat to strangers. dont live in wales now and i do have strangers look at me oddly sometimes.
OP trying to think of a way to flame you but you sound too like me friendly

Original poster

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 11:32

whatsallthehullaballoo - I laughed out loud at your post!

I think they would have me carted off to the funny farm!!!

OP posts:

thinkingkindly · 01/04/2011 11:33

I'm like you OP - hyper-alert to the world and with an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Have banned myself from 'helping' others. You just have to say 'shut up, shut up, shut up' to yourself - works for me!

TheSmallPrint · 01/04/2011 11:34

Oh God, I always do things like that in shops, I can't help myself and I also ask random starngers opinions on things, I usually find most people end up being very chatty. Luckily I have never had anyone being rude about it, always polite.

Oh and I live in the south east.

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/04/2011 11:43

Bloody hell OP you were nice - the other woman is a mardy cow.

I never had a shawl either. Who has shawls nowadays? We are not weavers in clogs fgs.

Onetoomanycornettos · 01/04/2011 11:51

See, I love people chatting to me, when I used to travel on buses in London, I was like a granny-magnet, every granny within a 10 mile radius would be magnetically attracted to me to tell me about their grandchildren, that their neice had a good job in IT but was moving to Australia, and so on (I used to try to keep them off immigrants, they weren't all nice). I just have that type of face that people chat to. This is not a bad thing, you sound like you have that type of face too and the other woman is just a misery.

MardyBra · 01/04/2011 11:51

GetOrf - I think she was RECOMMENDING the shawl.

ceebeegeebies · 01/04/2011 11:52

The woman was quite rude - a simple 'thanks but I prefer this' would have been sufficent.

Don't give up being friendly - not everyone would react like this.

It reminds me of an occasion about 2 years ago when I was in Asda (funnily enough) and was in the baby food aisle (without either of my 2 DC) and another woman was there with a 5-month (ish) old baby. We just started chatting about baby food and the conversation moved on and this lady was returning to work imminently but had not sorted out a nursery and was stressing about it. I told her about the nursery that my 2 went to and she said she hadn't thought about that one (not sure why as it was only round the corner ) and then we went our seperate ways.

About a week later, I went to pick up the DC from nursery and there she was with her baby who was just starting at the nursery I still see her most mornings now at drop-off time and I like to think that she appreciated my advice/knowledge

GetOrfMoiLand · 01/04/2011 11:53

oh yeaaaah

Anyway, shawl or no shawl, she was bloody rude.

babylann · 01/04/2011 11:58

I think it was good of you to want to try and help them out. You have experience in the matter and weren't to know that they also have experience, so you offered some advice.

But I don't think she was particularly rude in her response, she probably got the wrong impression, and OP admits the woman had already put the item of preference in the trolley so it probably seemed to her that the OP had come over to say, "Hey, the item you picked is terrible! Trust me - I know better than you!"

Just a misunderstanding :) It would have been very different if the couple were still holding both items, looking genuinely perplexed.

Don't be too embarrassed, could happen to anyone.

Original poster

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 12:01

I was recommending the shawl - that is why I'm annoyed at myself, just because I use it doesn't mean that I can force it on anyone else

It did not even occur to me that the woman was being rude, I just wanted the ground to swallow me up.

So there you have it... My first ever "I'm the only mother in the world" moment - I'm sure there will be many "moments" to come.

OP posts:

moonstonezoe · 01/04/2011 12:07

Your heart is in the right place! Are you a northerner? I found there was a real espirit de corps when I lived in the north. The woman you made the comment to sounds very unfriendly!

BertieBasset · 01/04/2011 12:08

When I had just had dd, me and dh were choosing a baby carrier and decided on the cheapo one. A lady was walking past and said to go for the more expensive Bjorn as it was far easier to slip on, she had had the cheap one and had to return it.

You were well meaning, don't worry!

Original poster

MeRightYouWrongMeBigYouSmall · 01/04/2011 12:09

I'm Scottish - but I live in NorthWest England (in fact I moved here 3 years ago today!!!)

OP posts:

lazylula · 01/04/2011 12:11

Well I used both shawls (hand knitted ones at that) and fleece blankets! I don't think you were rude or mad, had you said it to me I would just have smiled and said thanks for the advice and continued to dither lol!

systemsaddict · 01/04/2011 12:12

I don't even know what a baby shawl is!

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