in wondering , when using discipline

[creaseistheword]

How you get a child to go to their room if they refuse and you cant physically move them?

I dont tolerate anything physical

he hit you?

I think i would have got him by the ear and taken him to his room. And he would have stayed there for teh rest of the evening.

I think he would have known i was angry enough not to want to come out any time soon.

I don't really know how to help..sorry

It's hard to imagine being in that position when he's so young. Obviously you need to sort it now as when he's older, you may find yourself in big trouble.

Perhaps proffesional help is the right path here?

I would do the complete strike thing. Sit and read a magazine, TV off, make yourself a sandwich, whatever. Completely ignore.

No point going into a losing battle.
I would just stay cross till bedtime or until he apologises tbh.

For the record, if I had hit my Mum or my Dad at any age I would have got the biggest wallop across the legs imaginable and I would have locked myself in my own room sharpish!!

I dont think I need professional help for a one-off but if it happened again I would certainly .

I will do some serious privileges withdrawal so he learns never to do that again.

and go to the gym.

I just asked DD 6 what would happen if she hit me. she said "i would be in BIG trouble" she actually looked scared at the thought!

i am clearly a right mean mummy

worra I was close to smacking his bottom but it just felt a bit hypocritical smacking him for whacking me

He seems to have calmed down now ive been ignoring him :)

this is one reason why time out type punishments are so hard to enforce.
there eventually comes a time when you CANNOT make them go to their room or wherever else.

I certainly wouldn't drag or manhandle him to his room or anywhere else. Hurting a child to enforce a punishment is just wrong IMO, no better than smacking

If the DS rule is hard to enforce then I would do one of 2 things.
I would compromise and say he can have 15 minutes a day during the week. OR, I would tell him that if he can't stick by the rules then the DS goes completely,

But talk to him... see what he suggests. does he have plenty of other stuff to do or is he just bored and it's the easy option?

a far as hitting goes I agree that it's totally unacceptable, but you need to find a way of disciplining that which you know you can do without it becoming a huge battle iyswim?
So it might have been a "if this is how you behave after using the DS, then there will be no DS for a week" or something like that maybe?

I gave up years ago trying to put my DS to his room, he would go but wouldn't stay in there and the battle would go on for bloody hours. I like the going on strike idea - sounds like a plan. I love the thought of doing nothing for a few hours. My DS would be so annoyed if I ignored him and went on strike. I don't see why you would need professional help. Kids can be disobedient it doesn't necessarily mean they have behavioural problems. Mine can be a right little so and so at times. He's getting better every day.

No TV for the rest of the week, or if you can't manage that, no DS at the weekend.

You should explain if he had gone to his room when asked that would have been his punishment for the hitting, but as his bad behaviour has persisted the punishment has got more servere.

or, I have in the past said to ds1... "if you want to live in a house where we hit each other then we can. Would you like it if I hit you when you did something that made me cross?"....

No, professional help isn't needed, but maybe a good old heart to heart between the two of you, once you have both clamed down, might help prevent it in future?

It will also give him the chance to appologise. Was he tired?

I think a slight fear of parents is not a bad thing at all. Obviously I don't mean kids should be shit scared of Mum and Dad, but certainly wary of ever raising a hand to them.

Great advice from thisisyesterday

overmydeadbody yes, he was tired. He has calmed down now and said sorry and has gone up to bed. He was mighty disappointed when I said I wouldnt be reading the next chapter of his book to him though.

All seems ok now but it does make me think about how you can make kids do this when they get even bigger!

Given that the DS was the issue, I would make it part of the punishment if this ever happens again. How about telling him that if he refuses to hand it over when asked you will actually destroy/ give away one of the DS games???

It definitely isn't easy when your 16 year old DS is 6' 3'' and refusing to do as you ask/stop doing what he's not supposed to! . Thank good ness that's all years behind us now!

When you can't bodily pick them up it's time to seek alternatives - sanctions such as TV and computers, grounding, no pocket money etc. are all worth a go as others have said.
Then it's about sticking it out until they know you mean business.

Sounds like it's sorted now anyway

i don't think professional help is appropriate when the child is of an age where occasional unacceptable behavior is expected.

Are you SURE you cannot lift him? 25 kilos is not much for an adult .

I could lift him if he was being cooperative but not when he is against the idea