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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to refuse to let DD go to school in a wheelbarrow?

38 replies

QueenOfFlippingEverything · 29/03/2011 17:40

DD's father is staying with us for a few days to see her. There's a lot of background to this - its the first time he has seen her for over two years due to his MH issues and refusal to communicate with me.

He has found a wheelbarrow frame and tied two pices of wood to it to make a rudimentary seat. He has told her he will take her to school in it tomorrow which she thinks is a hilarious and wonderful idea.

I think it is a crap idea because a) its dangerous - the walk to school is down a very very steep footpath through a field and b) its just frankly ridiculous, she is 8, she can bloody walk, she doesn't need to be taken in a fucking wheelbarrow just to make the pair of them look oh-so-unconventional.

He takes great pleasure in 'out-funning' me at every opportunity and will never be the one to say no to DD. He has always had a tendency to come up with ludicrous ideas, in the knowledge that I will veto them and look like a Great Big Party Pooper. He also has a somewhat poor ability (IMO) to judge what is and isn't dangerous, and being told not to do something is like a red rag to him and just increases the chance he will insist on doing it.

Now I am prepared to be told if IABU as my kneejerk reaction with DD's father is to assume he is being a twat, so maybe thats the case here.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 29/03/2011 17:43

yes, it is ridiculous but what is the worst that can happen?

Gubbins · 29/03/2011 17:44

It sounds like a ridiculous idea, but one I would have loved when I was 8. She hasn't seen her dad for 2 years, let them have their fun. The worst that could happen is she falls off the wheelbarrow, it's not like it could run away with her down the hill.

livingindc · 29/03/2011 17:46

I would say let him take her in the wheelbarrow. If he as much of a twat as you imply, then it is reasonable for you to be irritated. However, try to put that aside and think of your daughter on this occasion - it will make her laugh and she hasn't seen him a long time.

It is a one-off and your daughter is old enough to sense when someone is being a wanker and embarrasses them...which might well happen of its own accord tomorrow when her dad appears with said wheelbarrow.

ragged · 29/03/2011 17:47

It's just a bit of fun, no? She'll probably be the envy of her classmates. Are you fine about her walking the path, just not in a wheeled conveyance?

SlightlyJaded · 29/03/2011 17:47

I understand the competitive 'fun' thing, I really do.

But that's between you and your father.

This is between him and your DD.

The way to 'win' this one, is to say "great idea! I tell you what, I'll make you some toast for breakfast and you can eat it on the go."

Now you are forgiving, fun and not having anyone go against your wishes.

worraliberty · 29/03/2011 17:48

Let her go, she'll be far too embarrassed to walk to school with either of you soon...let alone get pushed in a bloody wheelbarrow Lol!

AgentZigzag · 29/03/2011 17:49

We were talking about going about in wheelbarrows when we were children, it really is the best fun ever Grin

It does seem as though you're looking for excuses for them not to do it.

Honestly, if he's as bad as that you don't need excuses to know he's a twat Smile

Let them have a laugh, not for him but for her.

usualsuspect · 29/03/2011 17:49

let her go

your thread title made me laugh Grin

eaglewings · 29/03/2011 17:53

Oh I'd love to take my 8 year old across the field to school in a converted barrow, great memories of fun I had with my dad at that age doing obstacle courses etc

LaWeasel · 29/03/2011 17:56

It's silly - but if you say yes you're not the party pooper and eventually she will work out for himself that he is all about being flash, and not about daily hugs.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 29/03/2011 17:58

Hmm - if it wasn't for the hill I'd say 'leave them to it' but if he genuinely has no common sense I wouldn't allow it because he might run down the hill with her and there's a real risk she will fall through/off this home spun contraption.

worraliberty · 29/03/2011 18:00

So she'll fall off it. I fell off our home made Go Kart at least 20+ times when I was a kid...and don't even start my on sledding down a snowy hill on my Mum's tea tray Blush

Original poster
QueenOfFlippingEverything · 29/03/2011 18:03

It is really steep.... I don't mean just a little slope, its about 1 in 3 for half the way. I have put a picture of the path on my profile.

Yeah ok ok. I will just grit my teeth smile and let him do it. But I still think its a fucking stupid wanky idea [petulant]

OP posts:
squeakytoy · 29/03/2011 18:04

One of my best memories is my dad making me a go-kart out of some old wood, pram wheels, and knotted rope. I flew off it a few times, and had many a grazed elbow and knee, but never needed more than a plaster, and I had great fun.

franksadad · 29/03/2011 18:04

haha awesome fun. I did that once. without the makeshift seat and not on the way to school.

Original poster
QueenOfFlippingEverything · 29/03/2011 18:09

Oh I don't mind go-karts at all. She is always rigging up contraptions and pretending to be a pony pulling a cart Hmm

I just don't like the idea of going down our hill on one, especially not on the way to school. If he wanted to pick her up on it and push her up the hill (which she does find tiring) that'd be less contentious Grin

OP posts:
ThunderboltKid · 29/03/2011 18:13

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at poster's request

franksadad · 29/03/2011 18:21

bloody hell thats steep.. erm maybe not!

AgentZigzag · 29/03/2011 18:22

mmmm it is quite steep isn't it, suggest he tries it out first perhaps? Grin

Original poster
QueenOfFlippingEverything · 29/03/2011 18:24

Its like that for about 1/4 of a mile, then there's either a flight of 62 concrete steps or a 1/4 mile detour on a road (no pavement for half that), then there's a flat bit just before school.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 29/03/2011 18:25

Haha! Yeah tell your daughter to test run it with her Dad on it first Wink

princessparty · 29/03/2011 18:26

Crikey you must be as fit as a lop climbing that hill every time you come back from school.

Georgimama · 29/03/2011 18:26

Christ no. YANBU at all.

He push her back up the hill when he collects her, if he wants to that desperately.

ragged · 29/03/2011 18:43

I can't quite see how steep it is, and I'm all for risk taking in principle.... but my fear is the wheelbarrow will slip out of his hands down the hill, gaining momentum, before coming to an abrupt halt and catapulting her out of it.

Can't he wheelbarrow her somewhere else?

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 29/03/2011 20:46

You know how I said 'No, not if it's steep...' he wont act like an adult and control it.... well, now I've seen it, I think YABU

.... not to have killed him for even suggesting it....

What a fucking idiot.

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