AIBU?
To call my EX and leave a bitchy voicemail?
nonamesavalible · 29/03/2011 12:25
Actually probably but I don't care, my and H seperated a month ago and we have agreed he will have the DC's today at Midday, it is the first time he has seen them and promised me he wouldn't be late... but he is already 20 mins late, I have the DC's asking me where daddy is and I can hear the sadness in their voices and I don't know what to say.
I have tried calling him but his phone is switched off so I have left him a voicemail telling him that I think he is a twat and as useless as a father as is was a husband.
I had plans for the day but I have now got to cancel which isn't a big deal but I was looking forward to some me time.
So angry 
but WIBU?
altinkum · 29/03/2011 12:29
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NestaFiesta · 29/03/2011 12:32
Why hasn't he seen them for a month?
Being 20 minutes late isn't a reason to blow up YET- your kids will sense your fury for one thing and feel guilty about seeing someone you are angry with.
If he doesn't turn up at all or doesn't have a good reason, then tackle him privately when the kids are not around.
Voice of experience here- my Mum and Dad were always furious with each other during their divorce and it really messed with our heads as kids.
redfairy · 29/03/2011 12:33
YANBU...but perhaps you may have to get used to it. Initially after a split its easy to get caught up in every little infringement of your arrangements. In time you will find you care less about the odd 20mins here and there especially when you get bigger battles to fight 
but I admit to see the kids' disappointment is always hard.
Mamaz0n · 29/03/2011 12:33
Well if he is collecting your children at midday on a tuesday i would imagine they are pre school age.
not quite sure how they would know what the time is without you telling them.
no need for there to be sadness in their voices, you simply say he isn't here yet.
He may well have bene caught in traffic/stuck on a call at work/ rocket landed on teh bonet of his car. you don't know.
whilst it must be frustrating to wait yes i do think yabu for leaving a message like that so soon.
What is the reason for him not seeing the children thus far?
LeQueen · 29/03/2011 12:38
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Mamaz0n · 29/03/2011 12:41
exactly Lequeen.
All you have done by leaving that message is cause an atmosphere or row for when he does arrive.
you both need to grow up, out whatever issues you have from your marriage aside and put your children first.
It is only a month in and you will both of course still be stung by the marriage ending, but you need to start thinking of how your behaviour will effect he children. and yes i do mean yours as well as his.
nonamesavalible · 29/03/2011 12:42
Right my DC's were told they were being picked up from preschool by their Daddy so thats how they know he isn't here, they weren't in the room when I made the call so don't even know it has happend, I told them daddy is running late but nothing negative, so can we stop making assumptions?
LeQueen · 29/03/2011 12:48
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LeQueen · 29/03/2011 12:52
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Mamaz0n · 29/03/2011 12:52
Yes fabby, they should.
But there is no need to set the groundwork for an almighty argument on the first contact visit in a month.
Yes the H is at fault for being late, but leaving that message will just fuel a fire. there is no need for it. it could have been left until the end of the contact where a quiet word about letting the children down could be had.
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