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AIBU?

To call my EX and leave a bitchy voicemail?

79 replies

nonamesavalible · 29/03/2011 12:25

Actually probably but I don't care, my and H seperated a month ago and we have agreed he will have the DC's today at Midday, it is the first time he has seen them and promised me he wouldn't be late... but he is already 20 mins late, I have the DC's asking me where daddy is and I can hear the sadness in their voices and I don't know what to say.
I have tried calling him but his phone is switched off so I have left him a voicemail telling him that I think he is a twat and as useless as a father as is was a husband.
I had plans for the day but I have now got to cancel which isn't a big deal but I was looking forward to some me time.
So angry but WIBU?

OP posts:

Report

VinegarTits · 29/03/2011 12:55

pre school children have no concept of time, they dont know how long 20 mins is

LeQueen · 29/03/2011 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShirleyKnot · 29/03/2011 13:00

yy chickens, it's only been a month since they separated, he's not since seen the kids and presumably OP is having to suck it all up. I'm not surprised there was a loss of temper TBH.

OP - I'll let you have this one, but you need to try and find a way to manage your expectations (and those of the children) if you know that he is a feckless father.

Fanilla · 29/03/2011 13:01

You know YABU, you said so yourself. However it's understandable how frustrated you must be, especially as this is the first time he's seen them since the split, hope he's not strating how he means to continue.

2blessed2bstressed · 29/03/2011 13:02

So....has he appeared yet?

Fanilla · 29/03/2011 13:03

LeQueen - I can just imagine the OP suddenly becoming a single mother and having to do everything on her own for her DC's for the last month. I can also see how that would make it incredibly easy to loose your temper when the one parenting duty expected of the DC's father was to turn up at midday. I'm not suprised she lost her temper.

VinegarTits · 29/03/2011 13:03

my ex has never been on time, i knew this before hand, therefore i dont ever tell ds what time he is coming, and if i need him to be on time i just tell him to be there an hour before i need him to be, you have to accomodate for stupid people, no point in letting them wind you up

Beamur · 29/03/2011 13:04

If he said 12, then he should be there at 12, or ring/text to say he'd be late. My nursery used to charge if parents were late too.
I can understand your ire OP, especially if this is a perpetual problem with your ex.

FabbyChic · 29/03/2011 13:05

Oh come on give the OP a break, the children were told their father was collecting them from pre-school, he never they have now been home an hour and he still isn't there.

Whether he is prone to being late or not is not the point, he has not seen his kids for a month and when he is supposed to he cannot be bothered to get off his lazy arse and be on time. It's disgraceful.

nonamesavalible · 29/03/2011 13:07

Nope but he has called to say he is running late cos (as I guessed) he had overslept, not the best thing to say after I have been up every night for the last month as my 2 year old still doesn't sleep through the night and I am surviving on about 3 hours a night, but at least he is coming.
I am angry about it all yes, I have done absolutly everything for the last month including trying to arrange for him to see the DC's with no effort on his part, I am just sick of it all.

OP posts:

LeQueen · 29/03/2011 13:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sweetpea215 · 29/03/2011 13:08

I can't believe the way the OP has been turned on here...by the majority of posters. Seems to be a pattern here....

I've been on a couple of forum's but this is UNBELIEVABLE!

And no I'm not going anywhere...am entitled to be here as much as the next person!

FollowMe · 29/03/2011 13:09

I'm not surprised you are furious. YANBU at all.

Your ex hasnt seen his kids for a MONTH. He says he will pick them up at midday and promises not to be late.
He only lives a 10 minute walk away....

What a cock.

Sweetpea215 · 29/03/2011 13:10

To the OP....

I can understand why you are annoyed...it's not acceptable for him to keep you waiting like this and you must feel very let down (especially as you had plans for yourself which you were probably looking forward to).

Hoping that he has a seriously good reason for letting you all down....

nonamesavalible · 29/03/2011 13:10

Can I just say I am venting on here to stop myself showing it to the DC's.

OP posts:

LeQueen · 29/03/2011 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShirleyKnot · 29/03/2011 13:10

You might be better of in "Lone Parents" noname. It's not going to be quite as flamey as AIBU.

Seriously. I am quite surprised at the response you got to this.

Beamur · 29/03/2011 13:10

Curious logic LeQ - maybe you are just more chilled out than most
My DP is messy, yet it still irritates me, even though I know he will make a mess.

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 29/03/2011 13:10

VinegarTits · 29/03/2011 13:11

i agree with lequeen about her taking the moral high ground, bet she was counting the mins by as soon as 12 came and went, theres no need for nasty voicemails no matter how much of a cock your ex is, doesnt achieve anything

WinterLover · 29/03/2011 13:11

He's maybe been to see a family solicitor after your answer phone message...

LeQueen · 29/03/2011 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Beamur · 29/03/2011 13:13

True, but these are the tolerances you make in a relationship with someone you love, maybe not the allowances you make for an ex who has let you and your kids down and made you unhappy...

madmn52 · 29/03/2011 13:14

Heres a true story to chew over while you decide :

A work colleague of mine many years ago tore a strip off me when I made a late night phonecall home on my break before settling into the rest of a nightshift. My now ex H and I had a row about something or other and he had dismissed me by saying 'I'll see you in the morning' - me not wanting civility to spoil a good old row (!) retorted - 'knowing my luck!'

She tried to persuade me to phone back and say goodnight properly after telling me how years ago she and her first Husband recently estranged had been arguing tooth and nail about custody of a china tea service ( a wedding present ) of all things.
It ended with her storming out of the house shouting - 'Keep the bloody thing - I hope you choke eating off it. '

Those turned out to be the last words she ever said to the 37 year old father of her two children whom despite their recent split she still loved dearly - she got a phonecall the next day - he'd died of a massive heart attack.

I went back and made another phonecall - a civil one.

ConstanceFelicity · 29/03/2011 13:15

He is being unreasonable, but you need to find a way to chill out. It's his loss if he misses out on their childhood due to oversleeping.

Good luck

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