To Have Doubts About "Bumsex Plus"

[milliemae]

Good Friday night topic. A while ago, DH pester-powered me into bumsex. Not quite the real thing, but bumsex is better than no sex so we use it for a few days a month....

Now DH wants to try "Bumsex Plus": wants me to strap on a dildo & bumsex him!!!???!!! On the one hand, revenge would be sweet: it's great when he's gentle, but sometimes he gets carried away & I wouldn't mind him knowing what it's like!

On the other hand, it seems a bit pervvy to me, even though he says he can't bear the thought of a man doing it to him; says he wants to see what it's like for me - an experiment in empathy or whatever.

Anyone come across this before? Go for it or tell him to go f*ck himself? www.mumsnet.com/te/11.gif

MizzH to the rescue!

She's quite right. And no, none of the men I've done bumsex with have been small of dick. I don't do it unprotected, use a condom even with DH for hygeine and ease of lubrication. I don't worry about getting an enormous a-hole like in anal porn because 1) we do it gently 2) we do it occasionally. It's not an everyday thing, once a month at most. You also can't really bang away like they do in porn, gotta remember the aim of porn isn't generally to give the woman a good time

can't imagine DH wanting to be "banged away" initially
and i think h would want to be involved in the strap-on buying
imagine the fun you can have convincing him how manly it would be able to take that big one

Eurostar: You won't get an infection from putting a dildo up anyone's arse. Not unless it has just been up someone else's arse and not subsequently washed.

This is not just a thread about dildos is it, it's about anal penetration too and I have no qualms in spreading the word about anal HPV as so many people have no idea of the risk.

As for pegging. All well and good if they want to do it but frankly it's rather sad if it's meant in truth rather than jest that OP wants the bloke to have some of his own medicine. If he has hurt her during anal sex she should be able to say and he should never be so rough again. It doesn't bode well for a relationship if you are thinking I'd like to do this to get my own back rather than for his own pleasure.

As far as damage outside of infection, this page has an excellent explanation of how to do anal with the least likely chance of damage and the risks of not doing so.
www.hemorrhoidshemroids.com/anal-sex-and-hemroids-hemorrhoids.html

They sum it up quite well "This (communication about anal sex)takes a lot of trust and a willingness to look at sex as a journey two people go on together, not a performance trial or a measure of self-worth. If this level of communication isn't present during anal sex, physical damage results including incontinence, muscle tearing, rectal prolapse and, last but not least, hemorrhoids".

Well it is predominantly a thread about pegging, which doesn't involved real cocks.
THough I would agree with you that pegging should not be about 'giving him some of his own medicine'. It's actually something that's great fun for a lot of people and no more risky than a lot of other sex acts as long as you do it sensibly and carefully (lube, condoms, taking care of each other and stopping if there's any pain or discomfort).

incontinence, muscle tearing, rectal prolapse and, last but not least, hemorrhoids

...still not converted...

I would say that haemorrhoids would be the least horrid sequelae out of the disturbing list...

I've got to ask this....

But doesn't the whole process smell of poo? (boak)

No. Your passage isn't pooey unless you have a stomach problem or really need to go.

It can cause damage though. I had an ex who used to pleasure himself (so he said ) that way and he had anal labia. Pretty terrifying to happen across.

So be careful with that implement OP.

anal labia

wtf did he use, FGG ?

a prize-winning courgette ?

Bicycle pump apparently while he was on speed.

So there you have it, the link was quite right, slow, steady and fairly sober is the key

OMFG

there is gentle, consenting bumsex between a loving couple and there is THAT

fuuuuuuuck

Just say no to drugs, kids.

Absolutely! They don't tell you about anal labia in the public information films.

wtf is anal labia

fgs, do not google it

It's my own term sorry, just thought it was a descriptive way to describe the flaps.

Of course now as in all things a MN thread will soon pop up should anyone happen to Google it. Anal labia you say?

I googled..... I am now plotting vengeful mischeif

Eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

always with the pooey questions.

Your rectum is not used to store poo unless you are about to have a poo.

DOn't have bumsex if you need a poo. Common sense, no?

FGG...it is a recognised affliction

although some people seem to be overtly proud of it

The most disturbing thing about this thread is that the OP implies that her H hurts her sometimes when he gets carried away, and the answer to this is not to talk to him.

no talk of flaps please