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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To Have Doubts About "Bumsex Plus"

132 replies

milliemae · 25/03/2011 21:28

Good Friday night topic. A while ago, DH pester-powered me into bumsex. Not quite the real thing, but bumsex is better than no sex so we use it for a few days a month....

Now DH wants to try "Bumsex Plus": wants me to strap on a dildo & bumsex him!!!???!!! On the one hand, revenge would be sweet: it's great when he's gentle, but sometimes he gets carried away & I wouldn't mind him knowing what it's like!

On the other hand, it seems a bit pervvy to me, even though he says he can't bear the thought of a man doing it to him; says he wants to see what it's like for me - an experiment in empathy or whatever.

Anyone come across this before? Go for it or tell him to go f*ck himself? www.mumsnet.com/te/11.gif

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/03/2011 21:18

It only doesn't hurt if you have an arse like an old sock.
Mine is a one way valve.

NorthernGobshite · 27/03/2011 21:34

Of course it fucking hurts.

EricNorthmansMistress · 27/03/2011 21:56

No it fucking doesn't. If it hurts you are doing it wrong.

NorthernGobshite · 27/03/2011 22:01

Clearly you're an expert.

EricNorthmansMistress · 27/03/2011 22:03

Well I'm a person who has non painful bumsex with no lasting consequences, so I think I'm qualified to disagree with you!

LindaLaPlumeDeMaTente · 27/03/2011 22:04

If I approached my H from the rear wearing a giant black rubber strap -on there would be an man shaped hole in the wall

And we are 3 floors up

NorthernGobshite · 27/03/2011 22:04

I am so happy for you. Ick.

EricNorthmansMistress · 27/03/2011 22:07

Horses for courses - clearly the idea doesn't appeal to you but it's a bit ignorant to go insisting that it 'fucking hurts' when it actually doesn't, and if you have had a painful experience, like I said, it was done wrong.

SaggyHairyArse · 27/03/2011 22:09

How do you do it right Confused

Thingumy · 27/03/2011 22:10

'How do you do it right'

pissed with lots of lube in my experience

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 27/03/2011 22:13

Still chuckling at this threadGrinHmmBlush

MizzHyde · 27/03/2011 22:14

OK, here we go again.
It's all been said before but, for the benefit of those who haven't heard it before...

  1. Don't do ANYTHING you don't want to.
  2. Don't JUDGE other people who happen to like things that you don't, or haven't even tried.
  3. Anal sex obviously don't always hurt otherwise no-one would ever do it, repeatedly. However, for some people, it might, particularly the first time. Kind of like regular sex.
  4. Regular anal sex doesn't give you an "arse like an old sock". Really.
  5. Most men would love to receive anal sex if they actually tried it, due to a small thing called a prostate. If you are open-minded enough try it for him, you could give him the best sex of his life. However, refer to point 1.
  6. A lot of women like it too. It doesn't make them dirty or slutty or weird.

End of lecture.
I'll bugger off now. Grin

MizzHyde · 27/03/2011 22:15

Oh yeah, and point 7. Condom and lube lube lube. And some more lube. :)

batsintheroof · 27/03/2011 22:18

hahahaha everyone!

I'd love to bum sex my man. Unfortunately, i can get him to do ANYTHING with the mention of his bumhole and the sight of my finger. He hates me touching him there.

(evil grin)

Thingumy · 27/03/2011 22:18
  1. empty your bowel beforehand.
MizzHyde · 27/03/2011 22:20

Oh, yeah, that's a good one. Enema anyone?

What happened to point 8?

Thingumy · 27/03/2011 22:23

I guess some men dislike anal just as some women dislike it.

It does nothing for me but dh likesloves it.

I think if your DH is wanting a good pegging, you should start with some 'smaller' man toys and see how he finds it (and you),there are plenty on lovehoney.

Online shopping for sextoys with your partner is always a turn on I find...

Thingumy · 27/03/2011 22:24

Sorry I meant 8

Grin
hellymelly · 27/03/2011 22:33

The only thing thats ever gone up my bum is a morphine pessary after a c-section. I am laughing at the thought of the man-shaped hole in the wall.Made me think of the bit in the tv "tipping the velvet" where the dildo peeps round the wall... (my DH would be out the window too,if i appeared thus clad)

FlaminGreatGallah · 27/03/2011 22:41

"If I approached my H from the rear wearing a giant black rubber strap -on there would be an man shaped hole in the wall

And we are 3 floors up"

That is the funniest line I've read on MN all weekend GrinGrinGrin

Eurostar · 27/03/2011 22:48

I wonder if those saying it doesn't hurt have blokes who are below average in girth?

Anyway, as I always say on these threads, it can have lasting consequences, particulary hpv infection which can lead to anal cancer. Unprotected bumsex is not really a risk worth taking.

GotArt · 28/03/2011 00:58

What if you approached him with giant pink one? Grin

It hurt initially, but you work it slow, find the right angle, use some lube and after a bit, the sensation is great. Just like vag sex.

MaisyMooCow · 28/03/2011 01:04

Eurostar very good points!

Lindalaplume... Grin

MaisyMooCow · 28/03/2011 01:06

Doesn't anyone worry about getting one of the those enormous a-holes like you see in anal sex porn?

MittzyBittzyTeenyWeeny · 28/03/2011 07:36

What anal sex porn is that then MaisyMoo? GrinWink