God-mother, but without the God bit?

[Thistledew]

My friend has invited me to be a God-mother to her child. I am honoured that she asked, and happy to take on a role in her child's life, but the only problem is that I am not a Christian. I have my own spiritual views, but they do not accord with anything that is prescribed in any religious text.

I assume that she is going to have a Christening for her child. Is there any way I can promise to support and guide the child without having to do so in the Christian faith? (I am happy to teach my views on religion, but I doubt it would be in a way that the Church would be entirely pleased with )

Also, for those of you who are or have god-parents, what do you expect of them?

I have written to my friend to say that I cannot make any religious promises. I do feel reassured that IANBU to refuse this part but still say I want to be god-mother, although I have told her I would not be offended if she chose someone else who is prepared to go along with the whole thing.

Also, I don't see why some people have a problem with people using churches only for weddings, christenings and funerals. Isn't the whole point that you call yourself a Christian and perform some of the rituals? Isn't it up to god to judge if you have done enough, not anyone on this earth?

DS has an UnGodly Mother and UnGodly Father.
He had a Humanist Welcoming Ceremony.
I see the role of his UnGodly parents to be non-family support, special adult friends and confidants as he grows up. WE chose people we like and respect (of course!), whose way of life and philosophies we like and who live nearby (family is all several 100 miles away).

I have turned down being a Godmother on the basis that, although confirmed Catholic, I am an unbeliver who lapsed many years ago.

I think it depends what denomination the child is christened/baptised into. We have a god son and didn't have to promise to raise him in the way of Christ. But our DD is christened and her god parents did need to make that promise as part of the ceremony.

I think its quite common for non religious parents to ask a friend or relation to be a quasi god parent. We also have a 'god daughter' who was never christened, but we participate in her life and would bs her guardians if (god forbid) anything happened to her parents.

It's quite simple really. If you aren't a Christian then you shouldn't have your child christened nor should you be a godparent. By all means welcome the child, have a ceremony to mark their arrival, have a party, but don't 'use' the church or a ceremony that means so much to so many people.

We had naming ceremonies and both of my children have mentors.

I just dont get the need to have a godparent just to 'look out for' a child, in a totally non religous way?Isnt that what most close friends/family do anyway? It just seems such a showy farce to some.

Been talking to SIL about this thread, oh B don't you realise a lot of these 'fake' Christenings especially in the big cities are just the start of a long term hypocritical and sly plan to get the bairns into Good Catholic Schools?

Anyone else think the same?

I am off to physio/hospital so won't be online today just thought it was time to put the above into the pot.

Not in my friend's case. She lives in a rural community with no faith schools for miles around.

Don't you just love that about (some) people of faith? Always looking to tell others that they are not properly of the faith if they do not perform as many rituals as their accuser does. How odd that god will judge you for not being Christian/Muslim/Jewish 'enough'.

I actually don't think GOD will judge anyone in regard to religion or creed no more than GOD would judge on the basis of colour. Our Catholic rituals are in truth man made to a great extent. I actually get that Thistle

When we're judged it will be on our behaviour to others and ourselves if anything.

I am judging people MYSELF I suppose, but my problem with the whole issue is people taking advantage of a system they also hypocritically laugh at.

Not everybody is of course some people simply don't understand the implications of what their doing/saying.

Got to go, peace x

We have a variety of people as godparents to our kids; all are active or believing Christians apart from one who is agnostic but married to a Christian - they are both godparents to one of ours. When this person attended the baptism they promised to support us bringing up our child in the Christian faith, and to help our child's spiritual development. This person has done that even though they don't necessarily believe themselves. When they attended the service they were called a 'sponsor' rather than a 'godparent'. When it came to the statement of belief - the creed bit of the service - I think they possibly didn't join in that bit; a sponsor could legitimately and in good conscience say "I reject evil" in that part of the service but not say "I turn to Christ" in the bit following. My child has been supported spiritually through childhood, at their confirmation service and into teenage years and by both their godparent and their baptismal sponsor in their joint roles.

I am mostly okay with the term 'godparent' being used because it is in common parlance but really it doesn't make sense if the person (or the baptismal family) don't believe in God.

Beesimo I agree that some people use baptism as a means to get their kids into selective, religious schools. Which is why education and religion should be totally separate. Religion is a matter for individual families, not for the state to subsidise indoctrination and collude in selection by the back door.

I don't think you need to be a Christian to feel that something special is going on at a Baptism. I know atheist parents who have been in tears at their baby's Christening (one parent was religious) not tears of despair I may add!
Just being in a place where everyone is thinking of the baby and making good promises for it's future happiness is enough for any "godparent". I think you don't have to be prescriptive to see that Christening ceremony is about watching over the baby, giving baby every help in its journey, and celebrating the baby's birth with its family. So if you are prepared to watch over the child as it grows, and be a "moral" force in its life - which is what parents have chosen you for (they didn't have to choose you after all), I think you are not being hypocritical to make baptismal promises.
I think you are already taking your role very seriously, just by asking these questions, as a lot of godparents don't!

Btw, I've been to naming ceremonies. They have been happy occasions too, with "godparents", though of secular nature...
There is something very special about seeing your godchild confirmed. All those years ago, you remember they were a baby at the font, and now they are making decisions of their own. Whether you are religious or not, it feels special to be back in a church with them. Very solemn.

Thistledew I don't have a problem with people using churches for christenings, weddings and funerals. They are important occasions for goodness sake, when people are reminded that life is a serious serious business. So what if they don't go into those churches the rest of the time..they might go to plenty of christenings, w & fs...and it might mean something to them on those occasions which tide them over....