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AIBU?

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Original poster

to think that 35 is not middle-aged

270 replies

vic77en · 24/03/2011 11:07

My colleague yesterday referred to someone as middle-aged. When I said they weren't middle aged, were maybe early-mid thirties, he said that 35 was middle-aged.

I guess technically it's half of the "3 score years and 10" but FFS life expectancy for a woman is 80-something, no?

I am 34 and do not feel ready to be middle-aged for at least another 10 years.

So when do you think "middle-age" starts?

OP posts:
Elibean · 25/03/2011 13:16

Grin at those of you who are under 40 and think 40 is middle aged! You wait Grin

I finally felt perhaps I was a wee bit middle aged at 50. Certainly not before. Then again, I had my kids in my 40s...and my grandmother died two years ago aged 102...both my parents are well and alive (I think that makes a difference to how old we see ourselves as) and I didn't really grow up until my 30s. So it all depends.

I do know 30 year olds who seem middle aged to me...and have a friend of 63 who certainly didn't seem it till she hit 60, and is still the most glamorous and energetic friend I have. Its so relative, isn't it...

noddyholder · 25/03/2011 13:19

I will be 46 in november and don't feel middle aged at all. maybe I am deluded but when I see threads on here about bootleg jeans and buttons in jars I feel positively young! Wink

hmc · 25/03/2011 13:27

Middle age to me is a mindset not a biological age. So technically at 42 some would consider me middle aged but I doubt I will be middle aged for some time yet - since I feel 'young', think 'young' and live 'young'. I do have the spread though...

My SIL is the same age and she is distinctly middle aged bless her, and has been for many years.

thaigreencurry · 25/03/2011 13:27

It was a joke Thumbwitch, honestly! Grin

I actually started feeling middle-aged at 33, the frumpiness set in and I couldn't shift the baby belly from my first-born, I'm now 39 (almost) and feeling even frumpier after second baby. I'm hoping that when I reach 40 I will feel young again and as the baby and toddler days will be behind me I will have time to get back to being a woman again.

Actually most of the glam looking mums I know are all in their forties with school aged children, the mums in their thirties have babies and toddlers and just don't have the time or money to invest in themselves.

Still can't get away from the fact that 40 is officially and legally middle age. I'm looking forward to it .

exoticfruits · 25/03/2011 13:28

Some people are born middle aged! It is an attitude of mind.

SneakyJamCavern · 25/03/2011 13:35

"35 is when middle age starts and lasts to around 45, then you are just plain old."

Old at 45 - no way!

Middle aged for me is when you have to start considering your 'elderly' parents.
I am 31, I am young. Kara, I always thought you were younger than me - not sure why!

SneakyJamCavern · 25/03/2011 13:35

I'm SPB by the way

ivykaty44 · 25/03/2011 13:36

My grandmother was born middle aged Grin O loved her dearly but she was an old spinster at 30, and never changed her hair style for 70 years....

Elibean · 25/03/2011 13:39

Aha, 'when you start considering your elderly parents' - that would be why I started feeling middle-aged (a year ago) at 50 then! Although they are both fit and independent again now so maybe I'll start to feel younger...Smile

GrimmaTheNome · 25/03/2011 13:48

I'm 50 and don't feel 'middle aged'. I really don't feel much different to how I did at 30, except now I've got DD I do more outdoor activities/messing around. Grin

Perhaps those who have linked middleagedness to the menopause are onto something - it didn't hit my mum till she was 56 so I'm assuming I've got a few more years to go.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 25/03/2011 13:55

What Psammead said near the start of the thread - 'middle-aged' is just a media and advertising term to help people sell you things or make editorial generalisations.

it ain't your age - it's your attitude Grin

I learned this when I went to stay with my great aunt. She was discussing a friend of hers who had just come back travelling through Australia with a guy she'd met on the internet and wasn't sure whether to settle down with him. I later met friend - she was a grandmother in her 70s.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 25/03/2011 14:00

BTW my mother is 65 and she is still in shock that she is over 30 and a grandmother. She took her CBT (motorbike test) on her 50th birthday. She still has boy-crushes and gets my 30 y/o BIL to download the latest indie bands for her.

I think maturity is over-rated myself. Smile

MrsH75 · 25/03/2011 14:03

Actually most of the glam looking mums I know are all in their forties with school aged children, the mums in their thirties have babies and toddlers and just don't have the time or money to invest in themselves.

Yes, I've noticed that. Something to look forward to, I hope!

Ooopsadaisy · 25/03/2011 14:11

I am 42 and have never looked better or been healthier or fitter, or happier.

If I am middle-aged then so be it.

I have teenage DCs and I am apparently a MILF.

Do I find this a bit disturbing? Yes.

Am I secretly rather impressed with myself? Yes.

Loving middle-age.

Toplistmaker · 25/03/2011 14:27

Bumpsadaisy What if, like me, you have a DD in Secondary school, one in primary and a 7 mnth old baby? Have I managed to be both middle aged & not at the same time? How clever of me! I'm 32 & dont feel middle aged yet! : )

LadyOfTheManor · 25/03/2011 14:29

I'm 24 so anything past 34 is looking old to me.

Chestnut99 · 25/03/2011 14:41

I think middle age is probably when you don't even bother looking in Top Shop but regularly buy things from a shop that your aunts and mother-in-law also shop in.

On which basis I fear I may be there ... Shock

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 25/03/2011 14:55

I bought something in Wallis the other day. Slippery slope ...

erebus · 25/03/2011 15:10
  1. I'm 47 so I can say that! If asked to describe myself, I say 'early middle age'! But then, my age has never bothered me, being one of the few things in life you can do absolutely nothing about!
CalamityKate · 25/03/2011 15:14

I'm 43 and I am NOWHERE NEAR middle aged, thanks EVER so much!

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc · 25/03/2011 15:24

But why all the negativity? All the, I'm not middle aged, I'm this or that, this proves I'm not middle aged....?

What's wrong with saying, yes, I have left youth behind, I am mature and have reached this point in my life having lived well this long? The over-riding negativity towards aging is so depressing, after all the only thing worse than getting older is not getting older.

spiralqueen · 25/03/2011 15:28

Startail that means middle age for me will start at 62. Definitely works for me Grin

hmc · 25/03/2011 16:21

Why all the negativity? - because of the connotations of middle age (for those of us who see it as a state of mind and set of associated behaviours and values).

I have no problem at all being 42...but I am not middle aged. Quite happy to be seen as 'older', 'mature' , no longer youthful etc (none of which have quite the same negative connotations)

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc · 25/03/2011 16:24

But those connotations only perpetuate as they go unchallenged. Agreeing that middleaged is a terrible thing is not helping is it? REclaim the word! Wink

hmc · 25/03/2011 16:25

I'm too old for revolution Wink