to think that 35 is not middle-aged

[vic77en]

My colleague yesterday referred to someone as middle-aged. When I said they weren't middle aged, were maybe early-mid thirties, he said that 35 was middle-aged.

I guess technically it's half of the "3 score years and 10" but FFS life expectancy for a woman is 80-something, no?

I am 34 and do not feel ready to be middle-aged for at least another 10 years.

So when do you think "middle-age" starts?

I think we're talking at cross purposes

I think we sort of are, and it turns out I am terrible at arguing points!

There is so much cultural baggage and 'received wisdom' about ageing, it is hard to know where to begin. I have been reading as much as I can find about the process of ageing, and have gathered my views from the general consensus of those involved in studying, researching, and working with those of older age, and older people themselves reporting from the front, so to speak.

But even they don't agree on absolute starting and end points of the various divisions between middle, early-old, young-old, oldest old, etc. By most measures, when women are expected to keep working until 67 and up, 60 is no longer pension age, or old age, as it once was - though it may look that way if you are in your forties or younger, I guess.

cbt944

Oh, I agree it's absolutely not an exact science and that opinion will vary greatly. Even indisputable fact will differ a lot, as some people live decades longer than others, but you can only state it categorically and mathemetically provably once you've died

It's so nasty when we as a society accept as normal the critical/negative use of phrases such as "You run like a girl" (i.e. pathetically and ridiculously); "You're like an old woman" (i.e. nosey, nothing of interest to do or say, overdramatic); "Hurry up, Grandad" (not said to your own grandad or even to an older man - i.e. you're slow, in my way, a fun sponge, an inconvenience). Nothing at all based on challenging poor individual behaviour directly, but rather a lazy likening to somebody at a perfectly normal stage/circumstance of life, with the clear intention to use being a certain sex/age etc as a shortcut for mockery.

I've watched quite a lot of programmes and online clips of very elderly people talking about their own experiences and feelings, looking back over their own lives - all that they've done and seen; and every one has been so fascinating. Whether sad, happy or (mostly) a mixture and whether somebody has climbed Everest or fought with the RAF in their time or just led a normal-paced mundane family life without any huge dramatic peaks or troughs, I'm in awe of their life experience, their position of understanding, all that they've gone through, their outlook on their life so far, now and even whatever they have left. Not all of them are 'sweet' or completely likeable, nor have their life choices always been admirable; but regardless of that, you get a real sense of genuine honesty.

Never once have I found myself frowning at their wrinkles, age spots, slow, sometimes slightly indistinct speech, tattered brown cardigan, walking frame etc. and though "Well, you're past it!" If anything, I think that the trapings of glamour and the physical prowess of youth can serve as a barrier to seeing who somebody truly is. When that's all in the past and stripped away, all you're left with is the actual person without any superficial facade.

Sorry, I'm not sure that was 100% relevant to the discussion, but it was the direction that my mind was led in!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll

Okay, that's fine. I think a number can help set a clear category for people. Not necessarily as a bad thing, but just to make the definitions clear, and I guess a lot of people like clear labels. But your opinion is totally valid and I respect your way of thinking.

TeensArghhh

I thought we agreed based on average life expectancy that it wasn't? Unless people are checking out at 70 and there are far fewer people doing that these days unless they have COVID-19.

TeensArghhh
I thought we agreed based on average life expectancy that it wasn't? Unless people are checking out at 70 and there are far fewer people doing that these days unless they have COVID-19

I have no idea what you’re talking about! I haven’t agreed anything with you? 🤷🏻‍♀️

All I can contribute to this thread is I’m in my 50’s. I have adult and teenage children plus young grandchildren. I’m nowhere near ready for the knackers yard yet!

Other contributors to the thread said that the average life expectancy for women was in their 80s, therefore middle age hadn't started just yet at 35. And I don't think you're ready for the knackers yard at all! I'm sure I won't be when I'm in my 50s either!

I am 35 and certainly don't feel middle aged. And I'm 8 weeks pregnant. To me middle aged people dont get pregnant

45 is very middle aged. 40 is quite middle aged. 35 is starting to get a little bit middle aged.

Lex01

Thanks - I totally respect your very valid and well thought-out opinions too

the average life expectancy for women was in their 80s, therefore middle age hadn't started just yet at 35

That’s like arguing your “mid 30s” don’t start till you’re at least 35.

I think it used to be. Now people generally live a lot longer I don’t think it is now.

I hope it’s not- I’m 34!

@capricorn76

I think technically 35 is middle aged. sorry.

If 35 is the middle then at 72 I've fallen off the edge!

No- I think 45-65ish is middle aged.

18-25 Youth
26-44 Adulthood
45-64 Middle age
65-75 Early old age
75+ Elderly

Wow, so in a couple of years' time, I'll no longer 'properly' be an adult?! I always assumed that I'd be one now until the day I die! is Middle Age considered a graduation from being an adult or a demotion from it?

"That’s like arguing your “mid 30s” don’t start till you’re at least 35."

For middle-age to be 35, it means people are dying a decade younger than the average life expectancy today, so that wouldn't make sense. I see fewer people dying in their 70s overall, and most people live into their 80s where I from with an average life expectancy of 81 for men and 85 for women. And I know a lot of people who've lived into their 80s and 90s. My grandfather was still bushwalking in his 70s because he didn't feel really old until 80s. It's a mindset thing too. If you think you're "too old" to do something, then you will struggle with things more than someone who doesn't feel that way at the same age.

But middle-age is not literally the exact middle age of your life expectancy. It's a stage of life that goes on for twenty or - nowadays with improvements in public health, diet, and less smoking - for thirty odd years.

From a public health standpoint, from 35 to 64 you are often considered to be in 'mid-life'. This is a time you can make adjustments to your lifestyle that will improve your risk factors for many diseases in your later years, such as dementia and cardiovascular disease, stroke, etc. Wanders off topic...

I always considered it to be the middle of your life expectancy, and I see 35 as still quite young. I know many view it as the middle of your life expectancy. I think you can, and should make adjustments to your lifestyle long before that. If you drank and smoked a lot in your teens and early twenties, it will likely impact your health later. Wandering off topic myself, but the modern diet with its preservatives and artificial flavors accelerates the aging process, and we should be looking and feeling younger than we generally do in many parts of the world. guardian.ng/features/health/how-processed-foods-accelerate-ageing-premature-deaths/

I think you can, and should make adjustments to your lifestyle long before that.

Well, of course, but middleage is heading into last chance saloon. Most people on this thread (back in 2011!) seem to be more horrified from a standpoint of their self-image and a sort of vanity, at the idea. But the body changes in the middle-aged years (in my view 40-65+), and if you don't acknowledge that and care for it differently in those years it will age poorly, in my observation.

I know this thread is dead now, but I just wanted to say that I think it proved that age labels can be so arbitrary and dependent on individual perspectives. I starting to think that putting a strict label on these things is a waste of time and energy and the best thing to do is just live your life in the moment.