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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that 35 is not middle-aged

270 replies

vic77en · 24/03/2011 11:07

My colleague yesterday referred to someone as middle-aged. When I said they weren't middle aged, were maybe early-mid thirties, he said that 35 was middle-aged.

I guess technically it's half of the "3 score years and 10" but FFS life expectancy for a woman is 80-something, no?

I am 34 and do not feel ready to be middle-aged for at least another 10 years.

So when do you think "middle-age" starts?

OP posts:
onceamai · 25/03/2011 06:46

Agree with WMD - I'm nearly 50 and feel it's a long way off yet. Having children late(ish) 1st at 34 and going back to work at 43 (in a college) has been a big help though from a frame of mind and keeping up with trends point of view.

janajos · 25/03/2011 07:02

I did some research on this recently; apparently mid-life is now considered officially to be between 40 and 64, so there! 35 is definitely not middle aged.

2and1ontheway · 25/03/2011 07:05

My mum is 61 and has recently started describing herself as middle aged... but tbh it makes me squirm as she has always had rather old fashioned/ old for her years attitudes, behaved, and dressed in a "middle aged" way, is retired and is not particularly active beyond lunching with friends and involvement with her church (a very traditional village C of E one). Some women in their early 60s can get away with being described as middle aged if they have "young" attitudes and are active etc. though.

It's all down to your life style and attitudes I think, some people are practically born middle aged, others it doesn't really seem a relevant description til 50 something - but also I think it is a term other people use about you, to use it about yourself strikes me as rather odd...

quirrelquarrel · 25/03/2011 07:23

'Course not! 35 is young!
I'd say 40, 45.

2rebecca · 25/03/2011 07:55

I'd say middle age starts at 35-40. It isn't a frame of mind, it's just a description of your physical age.

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 08:22

I "did" middle-aged when i was in my mid 20s. Then my F left me for an older woman (how embarrassing?) and I went back to being about 17 again. Still haven't got back to being as middle-aged as I was then - I think it's far more about state of mind than actual chronological age :)

exoticfruits · 25/03/2011 08:24

If you are going to live to 100 then 35/40 is at least 10 yrs before you even have to think of middle age.

onlion · 25/03/2011 08:28

I think the WHO definition is 45-60 for middle aged

NetworkGuy · 25/03/2011 08:31

Although for some men people, being 50+ and made redundant may feel like being on the scrapheap, the opportunities may still be out there to change career and not 'vegetate'.

I can think of a few clients who do a mix of charity work and consultancy as they'd perhaps have gone downhill into senility if they were not occupying their time positively.

One is now 70 and perhaps ready to retire (his consultancy work mostly came via agencies and one thing he was ready to do if they dropped him was take action against age discrimination, but the economic climate has made work dry up anyway). He and his wife are keen walkers, in UK, France, Germany and Austria (despite a hip replacement 2 or 3 years ago) and went off to New York a couple of times while their son and family were there (son working 18 months in NYC, wife and child with him too). Due back soon from 3 week holiday in Egypt when many would have cancelled!

Personally, hitting 50 gave me new push - having had house repossessed and Inland Revenue making me bankrupt (because of their high estimates of earnings when I was depressed after deaths of 2 v close relations, when my income was below taxable levels). So pizza and can of coke as 50th birthday 'celebration' and vow to make a fortune and disappear to a sunny tax haven and give a two-finger salute to HMRC and Halifax :)

thaigreencurry · 25/03/2011 09:59

It is 40. You might not look or feel middle aged but if you are over 40 you are already there I'm afraid.

wendihouse22 · 25/03/2011 10:10

It's a funny thing....

When I was 25 I thought my mum, at 48 (she started young!) was basically just waiting to shrivel into senile old age and shuttle off her mortal coil. When I got to 40, I thought "I'm ONLY" 40!!!!!"

I'm 49 in a couple of months.... ONLY 49!!!!

ginnny · 25/03/2011 10:31

Middle age is whatever age my parents are...
I refuse to be middle aged and I refuse to think of them as elderly.
So there!
Biscuit

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc · 25/03/2011 10:39

average life expectancy in the UK is 79.4, not pushing 90!

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 10:41

are you 40 yet, thaigreencurry?

exoticfruits · 25/03/2011 10:45

People living to over 100yrs is the hightest ever in UK and rising. Since you can't know what age you will get to I am taking 104yrs and middle age isn't 40yrs.

FlorenceCalamityandJoanofArc · 25/03/2011 10:49

Thats not the average though, there might be more but they are still outliers.

NetworkGuy · 25/03/2011 10:52

we can all dream, though, can't we :)

exoticfruits · 25/03/2011 10:53

I am not average!!

GiggleyGill · 25/03/2011 11:27

I'm 37 and wouldn't consider myself middle aged! i've always thought it was 40-45

GiggleyGill · 25/03/2011 11:29

I'm 37 and wouldn't consider myself middle aged! i've always thought it was 40-45

ivykaty44 · 25/03/2011 12:50

unfortunately due to a variety of reasons the average age in the UK is predicted to fall - so you will get to middle age quicker.

Unlike the post war babies who have a longer life expectancy

thaigreencurry · 25/03/2011 12:57

Almost thumbwitch, getting very close to cardie and slipper time.

MrsH75 · 25/03/2011 13:00

Average life expectancy may be predicted to fall but it has actually just gone up again.

I think middle age is 40 to 65. I'm 35, and I really don't mind being described as middle aged when I'm 40 onwards. I hope I haven't reached the half way point in my life yet though.

candleshoe · 25/03/2011 13:03

I remember telling my mum she was middle aged on her 35th b'day. I told her 70 was OLD so half that was 35 which was therfore middle aged!

Now that I am 38 - I think 45 is middle aged.
Wink

thumbwitch · 25/03/2011 13:15

TGC - that better be tongue in cheek or I'll bash you with my zimmer frame.