To think if I'd ff instead of bf...

[Thatbastardcat]

Put ds in his own room at a week old rather than co sleep and gone back to work rather than be a sahm and skint, people would hold me in higher regard than they do now?

I am so so sick of people telling me I should stop bf my 1 yo, should put him in his own room, should put him in nursery blah blah blah.

My dh wants me stop bf and gets angry with me all the time about it. I enjoy it as does my ds. Dh asked me not to do it when his parents come down next week as it embaresses them.

I don't see people who ff getting as actively slagged off to their face about it not being normal.

Am regular on here but have nc.

:(

tell him tough - it's your baby and your body, and you'll do what you perceive to be the best for your child

so sorry for you your DH should be more supportive and tell parents if it makes them uncomfortable to stay at hotel or something.

YANBU

tell him the WHO advises breast feeding until 2 years old, and as the childs mother you will do whats best for a long as suits you.

It is also free and you dont have to worry about running out of cows milk (in the fridge) as yours is on tap!

I really really hope i will be breastfeeding my baby at 1 year old, but have never tried yet!!!!!

I think you should BF for as long as you feel is right, but surely DH has some say? It's also his child? Am I missing something fundemental here? Obviously, the final decision is yours as they are your breasts, but I'm not sure I understand why your DH doesn't get an opinion.

Your DH should be supporting you. If his parents have a problem then that's their problem and he should prioritise you and your DS and tell them that.

I can predict that all the replies to this are going to take your side and blame everything on the attitude of your DP

But ... he is your DP. And is is sharing your life and your home and is the father of your child. And he should have a say in how his child is brought up and how the child fits into your life.

Does he say whay he wants you to stop bf? Have you had a serious talk about it - or are you just doing the MN my bodu / my baby / my choice thing and totally ignoring his view.

(I have totally ignored the PIL question - as I don't think their opinions count in this issue. But your DPs does)

I'm still BFing my ds at 8.5 months and I'm starting to get shocked faces and "oooh, you're STILL breastfeeding" urr yeah... durr!!!

Personally I think it shows how ill informed THEY are about the matter not that you're doing anything wrong!

Surely the OP's DH should want what is best for his son.

Oh God not another one

Personally I found going back to work an ideal time to stop breast feeding. I was far busier during the day and was "producing" a lot less. Its up to you , your PIL are probably embarassed by the bf, as they no longer see your DC as a small baby? (just a thought)

Quite frankly you don't sound very happy about returning to work, is there no alternative, part-time?

I am very sympathetic, I get similar unsolicited advice all the time and on here people have told me to just smile, nod and ignore but I find it hard.

You could tell them that the global average age to stop breastfeeding is 4 years and 2 months, or that co sleeping is the norm for most people in thte world. I don't actually co sleep, but have 8 week old ds right next to the bed in crib, and the other day pil told me that we should think about putting him in his own room or he will get used to be in our room and before we know it we'll hear "pitter patter" and he'll be through in our room all the time! WTF? HeS 8 weeks old! And why do our sleeping arrangements concern him anyway?

I don't understand the obsession we have in this country with pretending that babies are independent, or seeing them as manipulative.

Do what is best for you. It sounds like you are doing great, and I really hope I am still breastfeeding at a year too!

For very real (not for cars, meals out, holidays etc) financial reasons I had to return to work FT, my DD had basically a severe head injury from vontouse delivery and refused the breast for an entire 6 weeks of trying and expressing.

I have been tutted at in public for FFing, I have been told "perhaps you shouldn't have listened to the paeds who said she needed fluid and nutrients to make up her missing blood (1/2 of what she should have had) and just BB for you"

Trust me FFing Mum's and working Mum's are constantly been slagged off to their faces!!!

Do what is right for you and your family. The family bit is important, this includes DH (not MIL though). Why is he cross with you? Does he feel he never gets any time at all with you? Just a thought. He might be wrong but you should try and understand his anger to your situation.

@rollittherecollette and apocalypsecheesetoastie - in full agreement. I don't like the tone.

Perhaps people are concerned that you are "completely obsessed" to the point of depression with the baby, and are seeing no possibility of a return to "normality".

You and your husband are a team.

I missed the connection to FF and basically treating the baby as a teenager.... RUBBISH. Why oh why do some Mums think you either tie yourself to baby for 2 years/more or you should be taken out and shot as neglectful. The spectrum of "good parenting" is massive.

Let people parent differently to you, it doesn't mean it's wrong.

My DD went into her own room at 6 months. I don't care what my friends do, not my business.

You must have missed the memo that said working mothers are the cause of society's breakdown. Don't worry, it gets republished in the paper at least once a week. BFing, co-sleeping, slingwearing SAHMs are first in line for halo's in most articles I've read.

YABU women who go back to work, or ff, or put their babies in their own room get tons of stick. There is a poor me tone to your post which makes me wonder if you only want validation of your approach.

And really your problem is that you and DH have a difference of opinion which has nothing to do with the rights and wrongs of being a wohm/sahm, ff/bf etc. If you want to carry on bf-ing of course that is fine, but you do need to explore with DH why he is so uncomfortable with it. His feelings of embarassment may be culturally influenced and inconvenient but they still matter.

How can you juxtapose putting your child in a room at 1 week old, with breastfeeding a one year old? What has one got to do with the other?

If you are a sahm, and skint, and your husband works, and wants you to consider nursery and work, he has a point you know.

At 1 year old, your child is not as dependent on his milk as a 1 week old. And it is FINE to work, it is FINE for a 1 year old to be in childcare, if your family needs another salary to get by on. It is GOOD for a a 1 year old to learn proper sleep habits, be in his/her own cot, in own room. What is fine for a 1 year old is not fine for a 1 week old, and vice versa.

MadamDeathstare

Get a grip!

• the child in question is over a year old and so can be given cows milk - so we are not debating the cost of ff
• why the barrage of accusations against the motive of the OPs DH? How much extra work is making 3 or 4 bottles of cows milk going to generate every day.

Why don't you think that the DH has a right to any opinion on how they live their lives and bring up their child?

Sorry this is NOTHING to do with breast or formula feeding.

You could BF until one and take a year of maternity leave and then go back to work. By age 1 babies don't need formula and a morning and evening BF is often enough. And 1 year olds should be able to sleep most of the night (either in your bed or a cot).

But ultimately its your choice, and you must do what makes you happy.

also, why can't you compromise a little on the PIL thing? if it makes them uncomfortable, would it be that difficult for you and DS to go to a different room to BF? Of course it would be better if you didn't have to do that, but surely you can understand that they might be uncomfortable. Frankly, I think my own father would be uncomfortable with me bf in front of him. He's in his 70s, very supportive, believes in BF but I imagine he doesn't want to see me getting it done in public.

You're a mother. Your place is in the wrong.

yeah yeah, i hear you OP. I've thought it about myself a thousand times, but i've come to the conclusion that i need to stop giving a toss.