To think if I'd ff instead of bf...

[Thatbastardcat]

Put ds in his own room at a week old rather than co sleep and gone back to work rather than be a sahm and skint, people would hold me in higher regard than they do now?

I am so so sick of people telling me I should stop bf my 1 yo, should put him in his own room, should put him in nursery blah blah blah.

My dh wants me stop bf and gets angry with me all the time about it. I enjoy it as does my ds. Dh asked me not to do it when his parents come down next week as it embaresses them.

I don't see people who ff getting as actively slagged off to their face about it not being normal.

Am regular on here but have nc.

'Noodle69 my thoughts exactly. Why does everyone feel the need to discuss the details of their lives? MN is fine I guess, but really who cares. Only ever on MN have I heard people say you're wrong!'

Exactly I am always glad I have my friends who talk about a range of other subjects rather than the boring ins and outs of the mundane aspects of parenting!

"why are you viewing a famly in terms of husband's "rights" versus child's "rights"?

A family is a unit, within which the members have to work out what works best for all of them. That does involve some degree of compromise in all areas, or, at the very least, taking each other's concerns seriously."

Yes, but I've yet seen this argument used as a justification to continue breastfeeding, only ever to justify stopping. Surely when it comes to balancing out the demands of running a family, the needs of the most vulnerable (and voiceless) member of the household should carry more weight than the wants of adult members?

"And some people on here seem to think men are animals, for daring to think of their partners in a sexual way once children have come along!!"

Absolutely not! Men (and women) have every right to want sex . I'm just questioning whether the sexual desires of an adult male should always take precedence over the health and developmental needs of a baby.

I'd also argue that in the UK we are overly preoccupied with sex and materialism, sometimes, often, to the detriment of children's needs and family life and that this sometimes distorts our perspective on these issues when there is a decision to be made.

"I agreed with the DH in that case (and was slated for it) as I felt like it should be his choice since he was doing the bulk of the work and it would be unfair for the mum to come home and expect things to be her way".

What - wrong for the child to go to the mother's breast when she got back from work and in the evening? Isn't this all about the needs and feelings of the adults? What about the fact that the child clearly wanted to continue to breastfeed?

What about putting the child at the centre of the decision and just seeing what they want to do? When the child has had enough of breastfeeding, I'm sure they'll stop.

And then both parents will know that their little boy was breastfed for the right time FOR HIM. Because he was the one who naturally chose to stop.

Why read the threads about mundane aspects of parenting then, noodle? There are loads of non-parenting, or unusual aspects of parenting, related threads here.

The OP's DH is an idiot for getting angry with the OP for not stopping BFing their baby.

Her PILs are idiots for being uncomfortable with a baby being breastfed.

The posters who suggest that the husband should have a say in how his baby is being fed - really? So the baby should no longer be breastfed because its grandparents are uncomfortable with it?

Spudulika different thread so not going to argue my point again. only mentioned to show i dont always say dh's views dont matter.

No, not really rolli.

And for the record I agree and I am neither single, nor was I bitter about being single, when I was.

Actually can I add, when I was single, I was quite happy, because I didn't have my stupid ex badgering me for sex all the time

And it's not an anti sex thing either because I have loads of sex now. And breastfeed DS. Not both at the same time though.

Because MadamDeathstare they are still co-sleeping at a year and they're skint. Baby is all important and not him.

What does being skint have to do with it? Breastfeeding is free!

Because MadamDeathstare they are still co-sleeping at a year and they're skint. Baby is all important and not him.

Christ. I can't see my DH whingeing to me: "The baby is all important and not me!" You'd think that it went without saying that a BABY's needs come before anyone else's.

How is your sex life? I can see why your DH is unhappy that you are still bf and cosleeping a full year after your DS' birth... he must be feeling frustrated and jealous. Yes it's a bit silly but on the other hand, lots of women do seem to sideline their husbands in favour of their children to an excessive degree - a newborn is one thing but by the time a child's a year old you should be having some adult/couple time as well as mother-child time and family time. In 20 years, your DS will be away living an independent life and your DH will hopefully still be around!

The PILs need to butt out though - what you do in your own house is not up to them. The most you can do is say "I'm going to feed DS now" a minute before whipping out a boob (sorry ) so that they have the chance to leave the room if they want to.

And yeah what Marianne said.

Men don't just want women to stop BF for sex though.

Sometimes they see their partner knackered and think it might help. That they might help.
Sometimes they see their partner desperate for a break, and they want to give that break.
Sometimes they feel excluded and want to be included.

Now all these issues might be resolved either by giving up BF or by other means, but you can't assume poor motive sin all men, surely?

Um nobody said that sex is the reasoning in all cases

Maybe the people telling you something actually have a point? Maybe it is time to stop 'babying' your baby? She's not going to be your little hanger-on forever you know.

And while I'm about it. Don't get on your high horse about having a baby in your bed and extended breastfeeding as if you're some sort of super-parent. There's a lot of us out there who think that what you're doing is woo and weirdy, and ultimately more about your needs than your baby's. But hey ho that's my opinion and it doesn't sound like you're interested in hearing others' opinions anyway.

Kiwiinkits tell it like it is are you new.

I don't think that the DH wanting her to stop has anything to do with sex, and I think it's bizarre that you would automatically go there. (I don't personally think any of the decisions the OP has made are odd, btw. They're not what I did, but she's not me and that's fine.)

If a woman were still nursing the child at 5 and the DH was like "hmm...might be time to stop," would everyone start shrieking "He's just jealous that the baby gets more of your breasts!" Most likely that wouldn't be the case. Most likely it would be because breast-feeding a 5 year old is bloody weird in most people's eyes! And many people switch their babies (both ff and bf) to cow's milk at a year. That might be all the DH is saying.

And fwiw, my FIL would die a thousand deaths if he saw my breast. So if he and my MIL were visiting, out of respect for my guests I would go elsewhere (somewhere comfy) to nurse and no I wouldn't think of it as "hiding away."

FFS.

'Why read the threads about mundane aspects of parenting then, noodle? There are loads of non-parenting, or unusual aspects of parenting, related threads here.'

Just being nosey on this board thats all. I mostly comment on other stuff. I just mean normal people in RL dont argue about this stuff or care as they are busy talking about other stuff. Unless they only have baby group mums they know on a superfical level but if thats the case I always wonder why they havent got any actual friends.

I'm not sure about the breastfeeding. In the case of putting the baby into his own room, of course the husband should have a say. It's his bedroom and his bed, just as much as the OP. Surely he should be consulted over his own sleeping arrangements.