To think if I'd ff instead of bf...

[Thatbastardcat]

Put ds in his own room at a week old rather than co sleep and gone back to work rather than be a sahm and skint, people would hold me in higher regard than they do now?

I am so so sick of people telling me I should stop bf my 1 yo, should put him in his own room, should put him in nursery blah blah blah.

My dh wants me stop bf and gets angry with me all the time about it. I enjoy it as does my ds. Dh asked me not to do it when his parents come down next week as it embaresses them.

I don't see people who ff getting as actively slagged off to their face about it not being normal.

Am regular on here but have nc.

I hear you too, OP and Intergalactic....DS is 13 months.

I am banning the words 'still' and 'should'.

"You're STILL breastfeeding?" Hell, yes.

"He SHOULD be sleeping through the night in his own cot, you know". Really, are you going to tell him that? Be my guest. I don't give a toss how you fed/feed/sleep with/ didn't sleep with your child, so why on earth do you care what I do?

Talk talk talk to DH, OP. Mine is also supportive, but keeps bringing up stopping BF, just because I'm working and it's knackering being up in the night, pumping at the office etc. But we talk about how we feel and he gets it.

If his only reason for wanting you to stop is that it embarrasses him he needs to grow up. A lot.

If you're happy with the decisions you made for your ds you wouldn't be bothered by the comments.

I think your ff instead of bf title is a load of nonsense. When a baby is ff they move onto cows milk when their one year old. Perhaps you should stop being so nasty about ff babies.

If you are the primary care giver how you feed a one year old should be your choice and yours alone not your dh's.

And if your PIL don't like it either your home isn't the only bed in town

It doesn't matter what you do you will be wrong with someone.

Don't like your first paragraph, OP. These things are not all mutually exclusive, you know! I breastfed DS for a year, DS was in his own room at 2 weeks, I went back to work after a year. DD I bf for 6 months, she slept in our room for 3 months and I'm a SAHM now. Just depends. ANyway, you can bf for as long as you want, nothing to do with your PiLs.

should be your choice and yours alone not your dh's

That's right .... put your DP in his place. He should just put up and shut up.

No rights to an opinion or say in how his 1 yr old is fed.

I bf my sons for 4mths and 6mths and then my dd for 14mths, I would have bf her till she was 30 mths but cos she had eczema someone said the bm was not good for her and I should stop. So I did, I reeeeeaaaaalllyyy Regreted it even to this day.

I wish I had been stronger and did what I thought was best for my dd.
But it definitely does help the mother and child to bond.
And its alot more natural then ff.

You need to discuss with your DH why he wants you to stop bf. However, it it was me, I would carry on bf if that's what you want.

You can continue to bf and co-sleep and go back to work/use childcare, if that's necessary. That's what I did with DS1 and I found that the bf and co-sleeping was great for reconnecting after being away from one another.

The world and his wife have an opinion on everything baby related, and they are all "experts." 1 is not that old to be still breastfeeding.

It is not unreasonable for dp to express an opinion, but dp is being very unreasonable to get angry.

What are his reasons? I can't imagine DH ever getting het up about this.

What "people" would hold you in "higher regard"? What kind of validation are you looking for? If you're regular on here you will know that you're hardly going to come in for a slating by saying that you breastfeed, co-sleep, and care for your baby at home.

But as others have said, your tone is obnoxious, and makes you sound much more like the kind of person who thinks it's perfectly acceptable to judge and make assumption about others whose parenting decisions differ from your own, than the kind of person who wants to live and let live.

If it makes you feel better, this bf and ff'ing, co-sleeping, working-outside-the-home mother feels judged a lot of the time, too. But not about the co-sleeping.

When I am out with friends we never talk about these things so I couldnt care less if they were giving their kids a beer a babies bottle.

I still co sleep often now and my daughter is 3. No one knows (or probably cares) cause it never comes up in conversation. Unless a child is being severely abused I dont think the average person cares less what your doing with your kids.

I agree with TheseThings. Too many people on here seem to take the view that it's fine to be completely focused on a baby to the exclusion of all else, including (and sometimes especially) husbands and partners. In my opinion, one of the most precious things you can offer a child is a place n a home where parents love and respect each other. Of course partners have a right to their own views on breastfeeding, and they should be taken seriously.

Op - you are very judgemental and I quite like the idea of your dh and PILS getting judgemental right back at ya.

I don't think OP is saying FF = nursery and own room from birth, they are just the choices people are telling her she should have made.

I feel sorry for you having such an unsupportive husband, you really need to sit down and have a proper discussion about breast feeding, and both of your wishes should be considered.
Some people do seem to have issues with breastfeeding past 6 months, my PIL practically vomited when I mentioned I'd still like to be at least partially BFing DS2 in Nov when he's 11 months, but will happily give my 2.5yo nephew a babies bottle which makes me go
You just need to have confidence in your choices when dealing with others, but do try to sort things with DH.

should be your choice and yours alone not your dh's That's right .... put your DP in his place. He should just put up and shut up.No rights to an opinion or say in how his 1 yr old is fed

No, not while she is ddoing all the work.

What woiuld that make him? managment?

Right wife, just do as you are told whilst at home with te kid.

The cultural norm in the UK is now FF and lots of people who had babies in the '60s/'70s do believe it's better than BF. I'm sure a lot of people are "still" BF / cosleeping etc way beyond your stage but they just don't talk about it (for whatever reason.)

Before being pg I never imagined that people would be against BF on principle - not "it didn't work for me" / "it's your choice, whether BF / FF suits.."

From what you've said, your partner doesn't have a leg to stand on if his only argument is that "other people may find it embarrassing." Since his argument has no valid basis, I'd ignore it. And that doesn't mean he gets no say in parenting, but if he can't justify his case and you can... well the defence rests surely?

*should be your choice and yours alone not your dh's

That's right .... put your DP in his place. He should just put up and shut up.

No rights to an opinion or say in how his 1 yr old is fed.*

Personally, i'd be telling him that when he starts lactating then he gets to decide.

Where are all these people who slate bf?

FWIW DD is 14 months old. She is still breastfed, wears cloth nappies, I carry her in a sling etc. etc.

I get loads of questions...'You're still breasfeeding?'...'"Wow, your DD is in cloth nappies?'

I find that people are usually just interested and I have received very many compliments from non bf/cloth types.

OP you don't need validation!

...and if DP told me to stop bf DD I'd tell him to fuck right off.

Sorry Notso, I have a difficult time believing anybody told the OP to be put her baby in his own room at 1 week old or to be a SAHM and be skint. The OP did conflate FF with own room from birth. She's seeking validation and martyrdom.

god though you ARE mad
put the baby in his own room

Clitorisorclitoraint

The OP and I may know some of the same people.

My partner's mum is one of them - against BF. And she works with young / vulnerable mums with new babies so she should be aware of the health benefits. (And now DP is a bit about BF in public / at home with visitors / beyond a few months old...)

Also mothers of close friends who recently had babies - some grans seemed to take it as a personal affront against the choices they made 30/40 years ago, when FF was highly promoted. So I'm talking about people who would expect to have some influence rather than complete strangers who are just interested in your choices. I did not expect it Though maybe that's just good prep for parenthood in general!

Vajazzhands

No - not management. Just an equal party in the relationship. We don't actually know his view because the OP has not decided to share them (or maybe has not bothered to ask).

But it just really winds me up that so often on MN, the DH / DP 's views are just brushed aside.

Maybe he wants to share a bed alone with the OP and does not want to co sleep anymore - does he have no right to an opinion on that?