to really hope this isn't representative of the general mindset of the royal navy

[BooyHoo]

Texted EXp last night after reading thread here about missiles heading for libya. asked him if his ship was being sent, he said not yet but there was talk of it going. i asked him if that bothered him and he said no because "you get a medal and all that.lol"

i almost threw up when i read that.

he doesn't give a damn about the people those missiles are being aimed at because he would be able to flash a medal about and act like the big I AM.

i accept that, and it is possible you are right. i just know him is all.

So what is this then? I am lost and v confused that you ask about the RN but then ignore all posts about it, you complain about your ex's comment although many of us have offered possible, reasonable explanations for his comment and attack him but then say you are not having a go. So what exactly is the point of this thread?

the point of this thread was that i was shocked by his response and hoped it wasn't the attitude held by all others in his position. not difficult really.

blimey poor op! i'd be a bit about his reaction too

outraged of tunbridge wells

write to the daily mail, they'll do a full page spread with a pic of you in all your slap

it'll be GREAT

But you asked him if he was bothered about going, not if what he may be going to do there bothered him.

So was he bothered about going? No, probably not, after all it's his job. And I doubt via text he was going to start a deep and meaningful conversation with you about the rights and wrongs of UN action in Libya.

ok, i have phrased my title and OP wrongly. this really isn't questioning the mindset of the entire RN based on his response.

my shock is at his response. i really dont think this is a generic attitude encouraged in the RN.

maybe i should have said "AIBU to be grateful it is only him that thinks this and not all of the RN"

does that clarify anything?

then hopefully the responses addressing this have given you the answer that you wanted - his response may not have been meant in the way you have interpreted it as it is a very normal response for many service personnel in this situation. If, however, your interpretation is correct then no, it is not indicative of all the 40,000ish personnel serving in the RN. Hope this helps.

Not read the other posts , but surely if our armed forces were haunted by doubt and apprehension , or thought themselves possible heros , but with the possibility of their life being snatched away, we wouldn't have any .

Humour is the only way to deal with going to war, for those actually doing it surely ? Otherwise the other option is a breakdown . Those who can't cope , have a life of nightmares and traumatic stress to contend with , and that is not nice .

yes penguin, that was a helpful post.

Nell, that makes perfect sense.

I'm not sure you understand. It has nothing to do with anyone else at all. By even mentioning thinking about whether anyone else in his job thinks the same, you have linked the two. There was no need to.

AIBU to think he's a cunt? Would have covered it.

well his response was to a question about something he and however many other members of the RN are going to have to do so yes it was to do with anyone else. as in, do teh rest think teh same or not?

"Looking forward to going to war in the hopes of getting a medal isn't particularly nice, as someone else will have had to suffer to get the medal, unless its the UK equivalent of the purple heart."

There is no UK equivalent of a Purple Heart.

Though there are a set of awards for bravery and gallantry etc not in the presence of the enemy, so presumably those could relate to situations where someone else hasn't suffered at the hands of the award recipient as a prerequisite for the awarding of it.

I cannot think of any medals or honours for which harming others is a pre-requisite.

imagine someone trying to be lighthearted about their situation rather than allow themselves to get bogged down in the dangers they may face

Oh cool. That's what MadamDeathstare was meaning, I think, rather than specifically wanting a Purple Heart equivalent.

As Sidge says above, you asked if he was going to be deployed, he can't/won't tell you/doesn't yet know, as there has only been chat about it, so fobs you off with a flippant comment.

Being deployed is what the RN do all the time, so it wouldn't bother him.

You did not ask about what he would doing once in the Med, and he would not be able to tell you, being bound by the Official Secrets Act and all that (if he told you he would have to kill you), so I fail to see why you are having such a reaction to his comment.

I've been married to an RN Officer for 25 years almost, and I don't know half of what he does, and I have learnt that if a flip comment is made, to stop digging.

They have a dark sense of humour, summed up by 'if you can't take a joke, you shouldn't have joined'.

Don't read into it more than is there, and no, the RN do not have a mindset like that...and you are extrapolating if you think that 30,000+ think like that on the basis of your ex p.