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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really hope this isn't representative of the general mindset of the royal navy

122 replies

BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 19:13

Texted EXp last night after reading thread here about missiles heading for libya. asked him if his ship was being sent, he said not yet but there was talk of it going. i asked him if that bothered him and he said no because "you get a medal and all that.lol"

i almost threw up when i read that.

he doesn't give a damn about the people those missiles are being aimed at because he would be able to flash a medal about and act like the big I AM.

OP posts:
WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 20/03/2011 20:35

so even more reason to not apply theories about one person to others.

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:37

what makes you think i am humourless yus? (I'm not BTW)

by saying i hope it isn't, i am saying exactly that, i hope it isn't. he is the only navy personnel i know so i have no idea if this is the general mindset or not. i hope it isn't.

"My dad & my brother were both in the Navy. Sounds to me like you don't know much about it, sorry."

dont be sorry, why would you be? Confused i know very little about the navy. it doesn't mean that i can't hope the general mindset is that of this one person. does it?

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 20:38

you ask a man if it bothers him going to war? What was the answer you where looking for?

BeenBeta · 20/03/2011 20:39

FGS! Its his job!

What else is he supposed to say?

WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 20/03/2011 20:39
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:39

penguin you are wrong. thsi isn't about the navy. this is about one person's attitude.

winters i didn't apply the theory. i said i hoped it wasn't like that. tehre is a difference.

if i was applying teh theory i would have said

"one navy person said X, i therefore conclude taht all navy personnel think teh same" i didn't do that.

OP posts:
unavailable · 20/03/2011 20:40

OP, confirmation bias recognises that if you dont like someone you instinctively look for reasons to reinforce this. (For example, if there were two interpretations of a behaviour or statement, you would always go with the one that put that person in the worst possible light.)
Perhaps your post - "not just a text, a text with 8 years of history behind it to be able to know what he meant" is another example?

(I do it all the time by the way!)

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:40

i expected him to say that yes it bothered him. surely most humans would be botehred by teh prospect. Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:42

ah yes unavailable. yes i am guilty of that and possibly in this situation aswell. i still would have expected a bit of concern about the thought of going away to shoot missiles at anotehr country EX or not.

OP posts:
penguin73 · 20/03/2011 20:48

If this is about one person how are we supposed to be able to comment? We don't know him so can hardly give you a definitive answer on his mentality/thought process/opinion on the value of human life!

I would never open my heart to my ex, particularly if I thought he was then going to plaster it all over the internet. Why not show him this thread and see whether he can do/say anything to answer your question?

ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 20:50

But if you already knew the answer you wanted - why text and ask does it bother you - cos if he didn't, which he didn't give you the answer you wanted - well then it was the wrong answer

Is this why he is an ex?

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:51

penguin, are you really saying you dont talk about your relationships with others here?

OP posts:
WinterOfOurDiscountTents · 20/03/2011 20:52

but why bring anyone else into it? What has anyone else who happened to have his job got to do with anything?

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:52

tehre are many reasons why he is an ex. his opinion on missilies in libya was not a factor in the break up. libya wasn't on teh cards for him in august when we broke up.

OP posts:
Regs74 · 20/03/2011 20:53

The guys and girls in The armed forces are human too, they do s job and then go home, medals are a recognition for the fact they are doing something which not many other people will do, they risk their lives and spend time missing seeing their kids grow up. Give this guy a break and accept that we all make comments about our jobs which outsiders don't understand.

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:54

because the others that do his job, are facing the same situation. is it unreasonable to hope they dont all do their jobs just for medals?

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 20:55

But you did know the answer you wanted from the text question you sent.

Then he sent an answer by text and it wasn't the answer you wanted from him.

cos you wanted him to say - yes it bothers me

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:55

thanks you regs, i can accept that.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:56

i expecetd him to say it bothered him because i assumed it would bother anyone facing that situation. i didn't want any particular answer. but i was shocked to hear his response.

OP posts:
bringonthegoat · 20/03/2011 20:56

YABU - over reaction to a joke. Felt like you were going to throw up!?! Confused Hmm

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 20:57

goat, it wasn't a joke. believe me.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 20:58

well if you assumed it would bother anyone facing that situation - why ask?

Sorry TBH I think you where a bit wierd to ask the question in the first place

penguin73 · 20/03/2011 20:58

Not on AIBU, and not if I already know the answer, no.

PaisleyLeaf · 20/03/2011 21:00

I think the "and all that" in the text was supposed to make it clear it is a joke.

bringonthegoat · 20/03/2011 21:00

He put lol at the end - was a joke [gavel]

I hope you broke up due to him lol- ing Wink That was a JOKE Smile