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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to really hope this isn't representative of the general mindset of the royal navy

122 replies

BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 19:13

Texted EXp last night after reading thread here about missiles heading for libya. asked him if his ship was being sent, he said not yet but there was talk of it going. i asked him if that bothered him and he said no because "you get a medal and all that.lol"

i almost threw up when i read that.

he doesn't give a damn about the people those missiles are being aimed at because he would be able to flash a medal about and act like the big I AM.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:01

why weird? we still have a relationship. i asked if it bothered him because if it did then i wanted him to be able to talk about how he felt. is it still ok to talk when we have feelings?

OP posts:
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:03

the rest of MN is still the internet penguin.

OP posts:
PaisleyLeaf · 20/03/2011 21:03

yep, and the "lol"
duh

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:03

the lolling is a new thing he has started doing. not sure why.

OP posts:
ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 21:06

weird as in you text soemone to ask how they feel about going to war. This is a text conversation where you expect him to pour out his feelings - it gets weirder

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:08

it's not weird for us. he was away 90% of our relationship. text was how we talked.

OP posts:
penguin73 · 20/03/2011 21:10

I think you are missing the point! There is a difference between using it because you genuinely aren't sure and want advice/validation and using it have a go at someone on a massive scale. I would (and have) used the internet for the first but not for the second - hopefully I will never feel the need to sink that low.

ivykaty44 · 20/03/2011 21:12

well it seems either you don't get the text message or he doesn't want to tell you how he really feels, but it didn't work this text relationship as you are not together now - so possibly where it all went wrong

PaisleyLeaf · 20/03/2011 21:12

Well it would seem he doesn't want deep and meaningful texts anymore and so batted it away with a joke.

meditrina · 20/03/2011 21:14

< just to be a spotter, there hasn't actually been an announcement yet that there will be a medal for this >

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:17

thanks penguin for stooping low enough to pass your judgement on me Smile

ivy, i got the message.

"but it didn't work this text relationship as you are not together now - so possibly where it all went wrong"

i posted regularly in relationships at the time of our break up as to the reasons for it if you want to have a look. texting was not one of those reasons. but if it helps you to feel right then go ahead, analyse my relationship with him to your heart's content.

paisley, he wasn't joking.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:18

really med? he will be gutted.

JOKE!!!

OP posts:
KittaKatta · 20/03/2011 21:19

So your ex is a twat
Your ex is in the Navy
Therfore all people in the Navy are twats

But you claim that you dated the person not the job. .

So ex was not his job but because he holds a crass attitude all forces personnel do?

I'm confused? and you deserve a big old Biscuit

BTW OH was in Basra, if you don't know him/ he doesn't trust you, when you ask him about it he'll say 'Oh got some good pic's and a nice medal'

They didn't have to help put the pieces back together when he came back.

Maybe he no longer feels close enough to you to discuss how he really feels

Grumpystiltskin · 20/03/2011 21:19

I'm not sure I understand the point of this thread. Lots of people say things I find unacceptable, I just ignore them and jog on.

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:20

"So your ex is a twat
Your ex is in the Navy
Therfore all people in the Navy are twats"

yes kitta, that is exactly what i said

thanks for the biscuit. saves me going to the kitchen.

OP posts:
meditrina · 20/03/2011 21:21

I' starting to channel Capt Darling: "Home in time for tea and medals!"

< UN might issue a medal idc, depends on what happens. Or there might be a bar or whatever on an OSM. There will probably be something. Just a bit early to know >

penguin73 · 20/03/2011 21:24

Isn't AIBU all about asking for opinion? You asked, I gave so I don't think you can then complain because you don't like what you are told!

Your issues here have nothing to do with the RN, otherwise you would have acknowledged some of the comments made about how many military personnel cope
in this situation rather than using every response to have a go at your ex or those disagreeing with you.

LtEveDallas · 20/03/2011 21:26

I'd suggest he didn't want to talk to you, so fobbed you off with a trite answer. Maybe he'd rather keep the truth for someone he has feelings for?

freshmint · 20/03/2011 21:26

this explains why he is your ex, if you twist everything he says to assume the worst of it.
honestly

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:28

of course i can complain. what a terrible place MN would be if we couldn't say when we didn't agree with something.

i have already said this is not about teh RN but about one person. i acknowledged regs post.

if i was having a go at my ex i would have a go at him directly. he cant see this so it is hardly having a go at him.

OP posts:
Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:29

freshmint, you know nothing of the reasons why he is my ex.

he cares about me LtEve.

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Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:31

"if you twist everything he says "

and this is just one text. how can you possible know that i twist everything he says from one post about one text? can i borrow your magic, looking into teh past of other people's relationships power please?

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freshmint · 20/03/2011 21:33

bloody good you aren't still together then, poor bloke

he probably phoned up his girlfriend and said "she asked me if I minded going. I mean what does she THINK silly bint. I told her I wanted the medal ha ha."

lolol

Original poster
BooyHoo · 20/03/2011 21:34

yes poor bloke Hmm

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LtEveDallas · 20/03/2011 21:37

The first time I went 'away' I told my mother that I couldn't wait to get my first medal. I made my deployment sound like a girls own adventure. In reality I was bricking it.

Maybe he does care for you, but not enough to want to spill his guts to you, not now you are an ex. I certainly wouldn't be telling my ex how I was feeling, not a chance.