my husnad has just said our son is a disappontment :-(

[NotInTheMood]

he's 6 by the way. Am I unreasonable to be upset by this comment and to want to tell him to leave (I have'nt). Our son can be quite difficult in that he has speech and language delay and so listening is not his strong point and so you have to have alot of patience my husband hasn't.

He expects our son to be interested in all the things he is/was interested in like swimming, football, and riding his bike. Some of these things doesn't come easy to our son and so my husband gets frustrated. Our son see's them as chore instead of being fun understandably. He loves the outdoors, nature, bugs and learning about the world and dinosaurs and foremost he loves to play, play and play anything else is secondary.I just feel so upset by that comment especially as I can see that my husband does see him as disappointment I can see it in his eyes and hear it in the way he speaks to him.

Ive gently encouraged our son to try news things and clubs like karate and have a feeling he may enjoy Beavers. I would like to have an healthy interest that he enjoys and that he can be good at.Whereas it feels like my husband thinks because hes a boy he should be out learning to ride his bike and swimm and enjoy football.

I think that you ought to tackle it. DCs don't come into the world to live up to someone's expectations and so it isn't possible to 'disappoint'. It is alright hoping that a DC might love rugby, be very musical, a straight A student, sailing etc but you have to be completely open minded, they might be completely uncoordinated,tone deaf, struggle to read, hate water etc. You respond and love the one that you have and if they love dancing you encourage that-or anything else.

I understand. Agree with Altin's post earler. I had no idea that my children were going to be like they are. Its a saddness and an an acceptance that you had unrealistic expectations. I am there now, and its hard.
I think the way OP feels aboiut her dh is alot deeper than we realise. I think you have alot of ground to cover.

I admit to having said some terrible things to ds1. Awful. I, myslef, have told him what a disappointment he is. Then, finally, last autumn,someone suggested he might be Aspergers.
I have quite a bit of sympathy of OP's dh. I am not condoning what he said, but I think people are being too harsh.