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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not let DD play out?

112 replies

OutOutLetItAllOut · 19/03/2011 13:32

she is 6 nearly 7, 2 other kids on our street are knocking for her. one is 9 and one is 5 or 6.
i have said she is too young to play out the front. we live on a cul d sac, not busy, but a fair few cars.
am i being a mean mum?
the kids are now sat on the path out the front of the house with dd staring longliny out the window!

OP posts:
iPhoneDrone · 19/03/2011 13:58

Summerbird, DD has just informed me that 'they are lithuanian mummy not polish' Grin

tinierclanger · 19/03/2011 13:59

Can't you go out and do some jobs in the front garden or something, to keep an eye on her? Ds loves playing at the front, he's only 2.5 so obviously not on his own but I go out with him.

winnybella · 19/03/2011 14:01

Let the poor kid out, fgs.

Almost 7 yo and not allowed to play in cul de sac? Hmm

I was taking a bus by this age.

Summerbird73 · 19/03/2011 14:02

iphone get it RIIGHT!

and as for your 3 year old - good for you - i wish we were on a cul de sac as my 2yo would be out there now with us playing footie. Although he is napping now as he spent all morning helping daddy gardening in the back (well daddy was putting compost into the pots and DS was tipping the pots all over the garden Grin )

Summerbird73 · 19/03/2011 14:05

winnybella i was getting a bus too, my mum put me on the bus and my nanna met me when i got off. and that was around the time Susan Maxwell was abducted, there have always been dangers but you have to use common sense.

OP i do understand your worry but i too am Sad at the thought of her little nose pressed against the window..

MaisyMooCow · 19/03/2011 14:06

IPhone ...re your 3yr old. I'm just over paranoid, I always imagine a pervert is lurking around my corner to snatch a child. That concerns me more than the road!

Love the fact the kids are learning a new language!

triskaidekaphile · 19/03/2011 14:09

If you live on a cul de sac then I do think you're being unreasonable, yes. Let her out.:)

ruddynorah · 19/03/2011 14:11

Aw let her out. Ds is 4 and plays on our cul de sac.

DooinMeCleanin · 19/03/2011 14:13

YABU. Our street sounds very similar to yours. A lot of the dc play out in the cul de sac area. If dd1 wasn't at the beach today I would be wondering if she was the child sat outside your house Smile

It's nice that they all know each other and look out for each other. It can be mildly irritating when it gets cold/rains/they are hungry and they all come into your house. And then out again. And then in again. And then out again.....

MadamDeathstare · 19/03/2011 14:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Skinit · 19/03/2011 14:17

Yabu a bit....my DD is 7 in July and she plays out the front...alone! I watch her basically....the only other child in the clse is not allowed out and stares and waves sadly out of the window!

Let her out as long as she stays in sight...you can watch her!

valiumredhead · 19/03/2011 14:19

maisymoo you should be more concerned about traffic. Seriously.

prettybird · 19/03/2011 14:22

YABU. You are really fortunate that you do have a safe environment in which your kids can make the baby steps towards independence. Make the most of it.

(iPhone: good for you :) Ds was also taught from an early age not to go out of the [open] driveway - so I was always comfortable letting him play in the garden unsupervised because I knew he wouldn't venture out; I once had a neighbour "return" him to me because he had been standing, still in the driveway, looking out and she couldn't see me Hmm.... not that I was upset at her, as she didn't know that he had been trained Wink )

iPhoneDrone · 19/03/2011 14:25

Maisymoo

Last year they were all playing out when suddenly I heard DD screaching at the top of her voice 'MUMMY THERE IS A MAN IN A CAR AND HE IS TALKING TO US'

I ran out to find a petrified looking man apologising profusely because he had lost his puppy and had asked the kids if they had seen him. Poor sod he looked terrified that we were about to lynch him (I explained that perhaps approaching a gang of kids about your 'lost puppy' wasn't such a good idea)

Honestly they would raise all hell if an adult approached them.

ilovesooty · 19/03/2011 14:26

*Let the poor kid out, fgs.

Almost 7 yo and not allowed to play in cul de sac? hmm*

My thoughts exactly.

Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 19/03/2011 14:27

I must live on the only non cozy cul in the world then! Drivers fly into our street, and try to get into 5th gear before the are out of their parking space.

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/03/2011 14:28

No wonder some children grow up so cossetted and needy when they aren't allowed to socialise outside at all independently of their parents.

DooinMeCleanin · 19/03/2011 14:31

They do in our street too OP. But the kids don't play in the road. You don't live in my street do you? Is there a park opposite this cul de sac?

Dd1 is 7 but could look younger if you didn't know her. Her friend is 8 or 9. They often call for a little girl whose mum won't let her out.

MaisyMooCow · 19/03/2011 14:31

Iphone

I had two experiences as a child, one where a perv tried to get me into his car and one where the guy was waiting outside the school after running practice and tried to lure me in. This is why I'm so paranoid!

I think it's great that your kids are so street savvy and have been taught how to deal with strangers.

valiumredhead ...I'm equally concerned about the road, my own brother was killed on our street when he was five.

I just think that as long as kids are taught about the dangers of traffic and strangers then it's safe to let them play out.

Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 19/03/2011 14:32

Oh for gods sakes. She is not some poor deprived child who is not allowed off the reigns! She has not been stuck in all day, and she does socialise independently!

OP posts:
Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 19/03/2011 14:35

No doin, thats not me. She plays out with her friends and older siblings when they are around. But never alone, or with children i dont know. I dont think its fair to put the onus on kids i dont know to look out for her.

OP posts:
MaisyMooCow · 19/03/2011 14:38

OP, at the end of the day you do what you feel comfortable with, what gives you peace of mind and works for both you and your daughter.
Everyone on this thread will have been through the same and have had to ponder over certain decisions. What works for some, doesn't for others. :)

MorticiaAddams · 19/03/2011 14:48

YABU, let her out.

Give her strict boundaries, no road crossing and keep an eye out of the window.

I have to disagree with MaisyMooCow about having peace of mind. Most of us let our children go with our hearts in our mouths and worrying all the time but it's part of being a parent.

Original poster
OutOutLetItAllOut · 19/03/2011 14:53

I cant keep an eye on her out the window, the house is on a slope, with next door having bloody big trees in the garden, so i cant see her. So if she went out i cant keep a look out unless i am outside. And then thats not being independant is it?

OP posts:
Skinit · 19/03/2011 15:00

Can you invite the locals to play in your garden?

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