To tell my MIL not to call me this???

[Skinit]

She keeps referring to me as "Mummy" so she'll say "Oh have you been cleaning the floor mummy?"

I HATE it. I'm not her Mummy. Nor anyone elses but my childrens. Other people do it too...I hate it with a passion. MIL often does it too as does FIL.

Its like reducing me to less than me....I can't be my name..... am only fucking MUMMY.

I just said "Please don't call me that. I don't like it"

And she said "Oh well I was only dong it as in speaking to you through your DD...making an observation about you"

NO SHE WASN'T! She said "Are you cleaning the floor Mummy" NOT "Is mummy cleaning the floor baby Skinit?"

She spoke to me. I explained to her...when I saw she was offended...I said "I feel it diminshes me...takes away a little more of me...which is already depleted. You wouldn't call someone HUSBAND or WIFE even though those roles may be part of who they are would you?"

She's still a bit and I was not agressive about my explanation at all...I tried to make her see why I didn't like it. so AIBU???

unreasonable and precious imo :)

Not a silly question, but not the answer you'd be expecting either I'm in the south of Italy.

So, you're just venting rather than asking IYABU?

"hat's right Dolly...I have the rep though of being a bit outspoken....because Of things like this. I don't hold grudges ever though....I never resent anyone as I will speak out."

Well there you are. But a bit outspoken can seem like being precious and being told off to the well-meaning victim of your righteous outspokeness. If you MIL is fine with it, you are adamant that YANBU, why post?

My mum does this to me, and DH and I do it to each other quite a bit too (generally when sending pointed messages to each other while kids present.) When DS1 was about 2, he heard someone call me 'wolfhound' and said loudly. 'That's not wolfhound, that's Mummy' like they were an idiot. It sent a warning message to me :) On the other hand, now he has got quite a good idea of our names and at 3.5 sometimes calls us by our names, not Mummy/Daddy, which I don't particularly like!

I'd hate it too. She should call you by your name. Especially if you've said that you dislike it.

Even if my partner said it I'd hate it. I totally understand where you're coming from.

My ex-husband used to call me 'wife', said differently, like 'weefe' but I still hated it. Am sooooo glad I ditched him!

It's not on. Really isn't. She should speak to you properly!!

If you didn't see her from one week to the next it more than likely would'n't be a problem but because you let her into your life so much as in every day I should image it's become a royal pain in the bum . As long as you said it nicely I don't see what the problem is .

I really cant see why its a problem if your child is in the room. Certainly not an issue worth turning into an argument.

cat....the "baby" is 3...I wasn't clear in my OP...but she knows whose who no worries!

It's not an argument...I wanted opinions.

This would drive me mad as well.

It really amazes me when I hear women referring to themselves as 'mummy' in the third person. "Show mummy what you've been painting at nursery today.... oooh, that's lovely - mummy's very impressed!"

I honestly don't understand why people feel they need to do it.

I'll be willing to bet that your mil did this Skinit, so would be completely unable to understand your issue with her calling you mummy. Not sure what you can do about it though, sorry.

Not a problem in our house.

Happened to me this morning.

My youngest's headteacher said "Hello mum" to me.

I replied "Hello son."

I think he got the message.

I had to tell my mum to stop doing exactly this! Drove me mad - she suddenly started when ds was about 6 ffs!!!!

Ha! Nice one Hec! I will remember that for the randoms who seem to think I am their parent also!

My father in law buys me a card for mothers day off him that says to the best mum in the world and he puts £20 in he also buys me flowers from the posh florist and tells her they are for his daughter.

I meant to say flowers on valentines day .....

YANBU

This is different to her talking to your child about you. This is just plain rude passive agressive judgy behaviour.

You were not rude to her. It doesn't matter if she didn't meant to be rude/offend you (even though clearly she was making a bitchy comment) she should accept that she did, therefore modify her actions.

That's nice but I can tell from your user name Nickschick that you don't mind being defined by who you are to other people

It would irritate me, and I think if someone does something like that that irritates you then you are as well to tell them when they start and let them have a 5 minute strop rather than resent them doing it forever as once people start with these babytalk names they don't stop. You get pensioners still calling each other "mummy" and "daddy" rather than their names. I refer to my ex as"your dad" when talking to the kids. I'd never call him "dad" myself as he isn't my dad and calling him dad when the kids aren't there or were too young to understand is a bit weird and incestuous.

Was she being bitchy Penguin? I'm asking because I always lacked that radar...I can never tell! She might have been because I am not a great housekeeper...in fact I am a messy cow who is very lazy relaxed about cleaning etc.

Oh yes 2rebecca...I ONCE called DH Daddy by accident and he was like "Oh god don't! I feel like a pimp!"

It's just odd!

I think criticizing someone's cleaning house that you are a guest in is offensive. I'm sure many a MNer will disagree as she's your MIL and therefore should be eternally grateful for everything she does and ignore any bad thing she says.

Well...she just said "Are you cleaning the floor Mummy?" Or "Have you been cleaning the floor Mummy?" which I had...so not sure it was bitchy.

Just start calling her Nanny.