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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Banned from Starbucks

360 replies

Monicachoux · 15/03/2011 21:44

I am part of a group of new mothers who used to meet a local Birmingham Starbucks for a coffee and chat once a week. The Starbucks is located within a hotel, and both businesses share a lounge area big enough for us, our babies and baby equipment.
We have (after about 6 meets) been told we are not welcome to meet there anymore as the "venue has been booked for corporate seminars and events on the days you meet, and this will be taking place for the next few months".
Starbucks boasts a sign stating "Sit and relax in our lounge area at the back", yet, we are no longer welcome to relax here with our babies anymore... Numbers for our group range from about 4 or 5 mums with their babies up to about 7 or 8 (so we're hardly an army) and each of us consumed drinks and snacks from the coffee shop and hotel when we went there... Are we being unreasonable by expecting to be treated like any other Starbucks customer in spite of (the horror!) having babies? I have to say that I for one was quite shocked when they (very nicely) informed us we couldn't meet there anymore- this is DEFINITELY NOT a baby-friendly establishment

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2011 21:46

yanbu

Vallhala · 15/03/2011 21:46

Not unreasonable but under the circumstances I know which of the two groups will bring in more money and therefore which of them I'd be willing to lose, and it isn't the businesspeople.

Market forces, simple as that.

rinabean · 15/03/2011 21:47

That's ridiculous. Oh well, at least someone better will be getting your money now.

StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2011 21:47

assuming it is still open to the public then that's shocking
(if it has closed for this purpose then no big deal)

LynetteScavo · 15/03/2011 21:47

I'm imagining the place being overcrowded with suits during the corporate seminars, and you finding it a bit miserable. I think they are probably doing you a favour. Did they actually say you CANT go? How did they word it?

londonmackem · 15/03/2011 21:47

Politely inform them you can attend on alternative days and are so glad you can continue giving them your custom.

QueenOfFlippingEverything · 15/03/2011 21:48

so the lounge is shared by the hotel and starbucks? it is not exclusively for the use of starbucks customers?

the hotel are within their rights to hire their lounge out surely?

they are not banning you because you have children, its not personal

you sound a bit het up tbh

and starbucks is a right old rip off anyway

Saltatrix · 15/03/2011 21:49

So the venue is booked on the days you meet now?? why not go on the other days then Grin

supersewer · 15/03/2011 21:49

7 or 8 sounds like an army to me - sorry
I get that you are paying customers but I also see that (rightly or wrongly) they might feel you were putting off other customers - have you looked at Mother and toddler groups or soft play areas that are more geared to your requirements?

QueenOfFlippingEverything · 15/03/2011 21:52

i don't really get the problem - the hotel has hired out their lounge for corporate events on the same day you meet there? is that all?

its not a conspiracy Hmm

PrincessScrumpy · 15/03/2011 21:54

That's a real shame - our local starbucks was fab with me and dd bfeeding. Take your business elsewhere and tell the local paper.

StealthPolarBear · 15/03/2011 21:55

I assume the oldest children are 7/8

Also "Are we being unreasonable by expecting to be treated like any other Starbucks customer" implies to me it's open to the general public (so not closed for functions) but they're not welcome

PaperView · 15/03/2011 21:55

7 or 8 mums plus 7 or 8 (or more!) babies plus equipment (what does that mean btw?) would take up a lot of space in my local starbucks.

parakeet · 15/03/2011 21:56

Did you ask them which days were booked? They can't be booked out every day.

PrincessScrumpy · 15/03/2011 21:56

supersewer - mums don't actually always want to avoid the adult world and live in a day in day out life of cbeebies and soft play!

LittleMissHissyFit · 15/03/2011 21:56

What baby equipment are you all taking? If you want a play group, perhaps look into the hire of a hall or room or something.

If I ever get the chance to go for a very expensive coffee, despite being a mother, I'd prefer it if there were not a mothers meeting there. Sorry, but I would.

ilovesprouts · 15/03/2011 21:58

go somewhere else then

QueenOfFlippingEverything · 15/03/2011 21:59

but it doesn't sound like they have been asked to stop going because of the babies - We have (after about 6 meets) been told we are not welcome to meet there anymore as the "venue has been booked for corporate seminars and events on the days you meet, and this will be taking place for the next few months".

its been booked by someone else

big deal

not a case for complaint

book it yourselves if you are that bothered

Sassybeast · 15/03/2011 21:59

Do you have 7 or 8 prams when there are 7 or 8 babies ?

frgr · 15/03/2011 22:00

take it to the paper? Hmm

we're only getting one side of the story here. in my own experience, both at the local starbucks near my parents and the one near us, staff are actually too lax imho. i used it when i was at home all the time, it was a good place where i could predict how busy it was and how child-friendly it was (good changing facilities, i mean)

but some mothers really take the micky, blocking up the walkways with buggies, buying 1 coffee and spending hours there - and when they leave, it looks like a bomb site. i know this is the case at my local one these days - there is a group of women who meet up there every tuesday (maybe other days too - i only used to go tuesdays as it was my day off), they leave the place a tip and i feel really sorry for the poor staff there.

so, if you're one of THOSE mums, YABU. you've been booted out for a reason.

but if you're not one of those mums, then you might not be being unreasonable.

only your behaviour in context would really let us decide properly - can you explain more info on how you use the place, do all 8 of you take buggies, how big is the space, do you leave a mess?

i will admit that i've never seen a starbucks banning a woman because she has children with her but i have seen overworked staff who'd be perfectly justified to do so, imho, based on what i've seen. on the other hand i can see that if the hotel just doesn't want to encourage kid custom, then that's annoying and unfortunate, but they're entitled to target the customers they want to market too - move on.

so, which is it - are you a pain in the neck for these places, or just the wrong target market?

AgentProvocateur · 15/03/2011 22:02

Actually, I can see their point. If meeting rooms at work are full, we often decant to a Starbucks for our meetings, and there's one that we actively avoid because it's used for baby meet-ups, and it makes it very noisy and chaotic.

It's not a problem, because there are several others nearby, but if yours is the only one, they may thinkbthat a large group of mums and toddlers is discouraging other users.

ruddynorah · 15/03/2011 22:02

is it actually a hotel that has a starbucks counter iyswim? ie it's the hotel's lounge, to do with as they please. surely in birmingham you have another starbucks you could go to?

frgr · 15/03/2011 22:02

oh and my post is assuming their excuse about the corporate events taking up the space for the next few months isn't genuine.

because it might well be the truth - in which case you are still BU. they can welcome in whoever they want.

pingu2209 · 15/03/2011 22:06

I am not sure Starbucks are being unreasonable. Their strap line in their advertising clearly invites everyone in but lets face it, they are a business and want the

If, for example, there were 6 mums each with 1 baby and one toddler - that is 6 mums and 12 children. Each mum would have a pushchair and possibly the toddlers will be running around. I bet you are taking up a lot of room and making quite a lot of noise. One crying baby is loud.

If you mums bought a coffee and a bun each but sat there for over an hour or possibly even two hours, that isn't great business for Starbucks.

The fact the Starbucks is in an area where there are a lot of business people, who would pop in have have a coffee and a bun/sandwhich but stay for a maximum of 30 mins; your mum's coffee and chat isn't as financially attractive to them.

On top of that, a business person may see all the pushchairs and toddlers running around and think 'no thanks' that is too loud and I want to be able to sit quietly and concentrate to be able to talk on my phone/blackberry etc.

If there were a couple of business people wanting to carry out a quick meeting, all the children or crying babies would put them off coming in.

Of course mums want to be able to sit and be part of the 'adult' world and not have to go to a soft play environment every day. But lets face it, that stage doesn't last for long. It isn't as though you will never be able to meet in a nice coffee shop with sofas etc.

The economy is in such a state, every business is doing all it can to bring in as much money as possible. Your mums could be costing them a lot of money!

catchmeifyoucan · 15/03/2011 22:09

I truly can't think of anything worse than ANY coffee establishment being used as a Mother and Toddler group. Sorry, that's probably not what you want to hear but you too need to understand why people go for a nice relaxing coffee for a chat with a friend - and it's NOT to be distracted by Mum's Army with the attendant noise and mess.