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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Banned from Starbucks

360 replies

Monicachoux · 15/03/2011 21:44

I am part of a group of new mothers who used to meet a local Birmingham Starbucks for a coffee and chat once a week. The Starbucks is located within a hotel, and both businesses share a lounge area big enough for us, our babies and baby equipment.
We have (after about 6 meets) been told we are not welcome to meet there anymore as the "venue has been booked for corporate seminars and events on the days you meet, and this will be taking place for the next few months".
Starbucks boasts a sign stating "Sit and relax in our lounge area at the back", yet, we are no longer welcome to relax here with our babies anymore... Numbers for our group range from about 4 or 5 mums with their babies up to about 7 or 8 (so we're hardly an army) and each of us consumed drinks and snacks from the coffee shop and hotel when we went there... Are we being unreasonable by expecting to be treated like any other Starbucks customer in spite of (the horror!) having babies? I have to say that I for one was quite shocked when they (very nicely) informed us we couldn't meet there anymore- this is DEFINITELY NOT a baby-friendly establishment

OP posts:
KenDoddsDadsDog · 16/03/2011 06:00

My local Starbuck advertises 'Mothers' Meet Ups' on a Wednesday with free cake. Pretty clever as it presumably keeps the place more clear on other days.

gorionine · 16/03/2011 06:48

Don't expect a business to let you use the space for free.

How is it free? OP and her "army" buy drinks and cakes/snacks there as any other customer. I have never payed for the space, only for what I eat and drink in any coffee shop I have ever been to.

OP what do you mean by "equipment"? to me it meand pushchairs to otheres it seems to mean play stuff.

TheBossofMe · 16/03/2011 07:02

Gerionine, the space belongs to the hotel. Its not a coffee shop, its a hotel lobbu with a starbucks counter. Massive difference.

TheBossofMe · 16/03/2011 07:03

Lobby even.

gorionine · 16/03/2011 07:23

I understand that, TheBossomofme, but it only makes sense if no customers of Starbucks can seat there on that day which I have got a nagging feeling is not the case. Surely the only way for the Starbutck to work/make money is to have an arrangement with the hotel so their customers can actually sit somewhere. (I imagine they pay the hotel some sort of rent) Now if everytime the hotel has groups of guests Starbucks cannot do any business, the starbuck would simply not survive.

withagoat · 16/03/2011 07:24

Oh look. The op has pissed off

GiddyPickle · 16/03/2011 07:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

poopnscoop · 16/03/2011 08:08

I work with Early Years kids every day, all day.. and even I would be put off with a huge group of mums and kids in a cafe. I live in nappy valley and this happens loads. Out of a possible 5 cafes to choose from locally, I end up going to the same one always, which has stairs, inconvenient for prams no doubt. I need some peace and quiet when I have my coffee and nibbles, and often read then too.

RoundOrangeHead · 16/03/2011 08:16

there must be 1000/s of Strarbucks in B'ham, go to a different one

TheseThingsAreGoodThings · 16/03/2011 08:23

this is DEFINITELY NOT a baby-friendly establishment

Being friendly to one baby is not the same thing as being friendly to 7

TandB · 16/03/2011 08:27

It doesn't sound like you have been banned at all - simply made aware that the space is booked on the day in question.If the lounge is part of the hotel and Starbucks is simply hosted within the building then it is presumably the hotel who have made the arrangements, not Starbucks.

Even if there is an element of them trying to squeeze you out, I can understand it. I used to meet in a cafe with my NCT group once a week for lunch. It was a well-known NCT meeting place and they actually had a space set aside for mum and baby groups. As soon as the babies became mobile we stopped going there as it simply wasn't practical.

ChippingInMistressSteamMop · 16/03/2011 08:27

Presumably as the OP hasn't been back it's a windup thread....

But anyway, who in their right mind would choose a BUSINESS HOTEL to have a Mums & Babies meeting in Hmm

FGS - use a little common sense.

poopnscoop · 16/03/2011 08:39

I am afraid it has been my experience that sometimes (and I emphasise 'sometimes') groups of mums can get very precious and territorial when they're in their group with their kids... totally oblivious to anyone around them. Self entitlement.

''Sod anyone else, I want my coffee!''

They should just meet at an appropriate meeting place.

BecauseImWorthIt · 16/03/2011 08:42

It's the OP's one and only post ...

StealthPolarBear · 16/03/2011 08:50

Wow is this mumsnet or businessnet?
Never seen so much vitriol aimed at mums of young children on mumsnet!
So much for "make an effort to get out of the house, go for a coffee with some friends with children the same age" - more like "stay in where you don't inflict the presence of your children on normal people"

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 16/03/2011 09:06

Stealth I think there is a bit of a difference between "hey lets meet up for coffee in Starbucks next week for coffee"

and

"hey lets use Starbucks as our regular meeting place"

especially given its not just 1 or 2 friends, but 4 or 5 with their babies, and prams/car seat etc.

FGS - the OP lives in Birmingham surely Starbucks isn't the only place to meet-up and have coffee if you've got children???

itisnotgoingwelltoday · 16/03/2011 09:08

BaroqueAroundTheClock - you put that much better than I was going to Grin

Surely there's a soft play place in Birmingham that would be more suitable/fun for the kids?

Maryz · 16/03/2011 09:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

QueenOfFlippingEverything · 16/03/2011 09:13

I'm not aiming vitriol!

I'm just saying, if the venue has been booked by corporate clients then whats the big deal [shrug]??

Book it yourself if you want guaranteed use of the space. Or fnd somewhere else to go. Brum is full of far better places to meet than a Starbucks in a wanky hotel lounge.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 16/03/2011 09:14

If I were the OP I'd be heading to Morrisons/Tesco/Sotf play/other "downmarket" coffee place for a regular thing...........and leaving the baby with my DH/DP/friend/mother/sister/brother etc on a Saturday and heading off to Starbucks then for a nice relaxed coffee with friends.

Firawla · 16/03/2011 09:19

i think yabu as it's in a hotel and aimed at business people its not really appropriate is it?
7 or 8 mums and however many babies is going to take up a lot of space! even with 2-4 mums and babies, toddlers i feel like we take up a lot of space when going to have a coffee or drink anywhere so do think its a bit much to go with so many people as a regular thing in the lobby of a hotel used for business people!
nothing wrong with going for coffee now and again but i think its better with 2 or 3 people at a time so as not to take over the whole place and is more relaxing, don't you find the sheer volume of kids a bit much when you go with 8 people, would probably be about 10 kids its more like a kids party than a relaxing coffee then! better off in someone's house or soft play or something with that amount of kids then atleast you can relax and let them get on with playing with toys, dont have to be constantly on the task of keeping them entertained and out of trouble

ChristinedePizan · 16/03/2011 09:25

wellwisher's got it entirely.

My heart sinks if I go into a café and there's a huge gang of women with babies. Is it a recent phenomenon? Is it a result of so people deciding they don't want people wearing shoes in their houses?

lovecorrie · 16/03/2011 09:27

Oh God, I would avoid like the plague 'up to 7or 8' mothers babies and toddlers anywhere! And that's having three children of my own!

Housemum · 16/03/2011 09:28

If the OP is genuine, I think the hotel would have been exactly the same if it were eg a group of college kids coming in and lounging around with a drink for a couple of hours while they chatted. Starbucks/Nero etc are by their nature places for a drink and go - OK, they encourage you to relax, but for the length of time it takes to drink a coffee.

And a touch of the PFBs coming in by the sound of it - I can remember (the shame of it) being like that myself, thinking I had an entitlement to some kind of space because I'd chosen to bring a huge buggy into town with a mahoosive bag (full of "just-in-case" stuff and oddles of toys). By DD3 I'd either take her to town in the sling or a v lightweight buggy, which I'd collapse on going into any cafe. Small change bag and one quiet toy. Children need to learn to behave and amuse themselves in adult spaces, within the limits of their age. Life isn't a flipping creche with entertainment all the time!

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 16/03/2011 09:29

lol lovecorrie - I have 3 of my own as well and I even avoid McDonald's if it's too full of mothers and pushchairs Grin