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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Banned from Starbucks

360 replies

Monicachoux · 15/03/2011 21:44

I am part of a group of new mothers who used to meet a local Birmingham Starbucks for a coffee and chat once a week. The Starbucks is located within a hotel, and both businesses share a lounge area big enough for us, our babies and baby equipment.
We have (after about 6 meets) been told we are not welcome to meet there anymore as the "venue has been booked for corporate seminars and events on the days you meet, and this will be taking place for the next few months".
Starbucks boasts a sign stating "Sit and relax in our lounge area at the back", yet, we are no longer welcome to relax here with our babies anymore... Numbers for our group range from about 4 or 5 mums with their babies up to about 7 or 8 (so we're hardly an army) and each of us consumed drinks and snacks from the coffee shop and hotel when we went there... Are we being unreasonable by expecting to be treated like any other Starbucks customer in spite of (the horror!) having babies? I have to say that I for one was quite shocked when they (very nicely) informed us we couldn't meet there anymore- this is DEFINITELY NOT a baby-friendly establishment

OP posts:
wellwisher · 15/03/2011 23:07

Why don't you meet at each other's houses?

Is it because nobody in your group wants to open their home to investigating toddlers, crying babies, half a dozen sets of baby paraphernalia, spilled drinks, food mushed into carpet, loo in a state after 2 hours of heavy traffic, bin full of dirty nappies, the odd pool of sick on the floor etc etc?

Oh.

thisisyesterday · 15/03/2011 23:08

agree. there is a big difference between a few mums meeting up for a coffee and then going and what the OP describes- basically a large group with "baby equipment"... what does this mean? like bouncy chairs and toys and stuff?
using it as a free mother and baby group

huddspur · 15/03/2011 23:09

YABU If it is primarily used by corporate clients then I can see why they don't want mother and babies in there.

Honeybee79 · 15/03/2011 23:10

@wellwisher - lol Grin. Quite.

Quattrocento · 15/03/2011 23:11

I do think there are ways of making the penny drop without effectively banning them - which is what seems to have happened.

Easy enough to have a quiet word to explain that the revenue from 8 lattes is not going to compensate for the lost revenue from people avoiding the place because of noisiness/overcrowdedness etc

LDNmummy · 15/03/2011 23:11

Sorry, 4/ 5 mums.

Monty27 · 15/03/2011 23:14

First come first served.

Booked? It's booked. Book it yourself for a group meeting then.

starlingsintheslipstream · 15/03/2011 23:17

Oh, wellwisher, that made me laugh Grin!

Maryz · 15/03/2011 23:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

byrel · 15/03/2011 23:26

YABVU If the venues been booked then the people who have booked are going to want exclusive use of the venue.

expatinscotland · 15/03/2011 23:36

Quattro, IME, people like this aren't the type to take a quiet word.

Maryz, I would write to the manager or owner of that cafe and make it known to him/her that they are losing business because of these 'customers'.

mappandlucia · 15/03/2011 23:49

Sorry to say, but if I go into a coffee place and see loads of buggies and a group of mums, I turn on my heal and find another one!

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 15/03/2011 23:58

urghh = YABU.

As a once off meet-up at Starbucks - no problem......

A regular thing?? No - it's not a mum's and toddlers

Laquitar · 16/03/2011 00:13

Oh fgs! Not again about conspirancy against mums and babies!

It is a bussiness! Not a community centre. It is in a hotel. Just find a more suitable place to meet.

YABU

kittybuttoon · 16/03/2011 00:22

The manager has told you all very diplomatically that you're not wanted in the foyer.

They can make more money from other customers, I'm afraid, and maintain a more peaceful, perhaps cleaner, less cluttered atmosphere in their lobby.

This is very important sales area for a nice hotel which relies on business bookings and conference trade. People attending conferences and staying in the hotel use the lobby as a meeting area - it is not 'done' to conduct business meetings in each others' rooms! They will not book conferences if they're going to be subjected to a playgroup environment during business chats.

You must have been seriously impacting their trade (whether you intended to or not) for them to move you along in this way.

It's like restaurants round here who won't serve hen or stag parties - the noise, hassle and damage drives away their regular customers, and they just can't afford for that to happen.

Why not ask them if you can meet up on a Saturday, if you really like the place? Business trade is practically non-existent, then.

If they make another excuse, you'll know the fault lies with your group, and you could ask for some feedback about what you could do to be more acceptable. But in reality, maybe just wise up and accept it's the wrong place for you all. Hopefully can make arrangements to meet up somewhere nice which is a more suitable environment for you all, where they'll welcome your custom.

Underachieving · 16/03/2011 00:41

YABU, if it's booked it's booked...

Of course they could be lying, but it's not hard to work that out, just turn up at the time in question and look for yourself. If they are lying then they're very naughty... or are they? Is it possible that other customers have complained about the noise of babies crying, the prams taking up space or the food everywhere?

You could send a letter of complaint and you mgiht get lucky, but to be honest I would find somewhere you're more welcome and let Starbucks miss out on yours and your freinds custom for the next ten years. Making purchasing choices is the most powerful way to make an impact as a consumer.

iscream · 16/03/2011 01:06

If it has been reserved for them, it is reserved. Same as a restaurant that is pre-booked with reservations. Maybe meet at a library that has an area for parents and kids and has coffee?
I do not give my business to places like Starbucks anyways, there are lot's of other places you can meet.

I feel very sorry for the small cafes that loose out because of SB's moving in and sucking up all of the local business.

savoycabbage · 16/03/2011 01:28

YABU, I was at a cafe a couple of weeks ago and a 'party' of 14 turned up for lunch and they were turned away. No buggies or anything just adults.

The owner didn't want to/have time to move all of the tables around. She was lovely to them and asked them to book if they wanted to come again.

Perhaps their takings go down on that morning as people back out the door and scurry off to another coffee shop.

LDNmummy · 16/03/2011 01:29

Very much agree with you iscream, Cafe Nero seems to be moving in on the turf of all the local shopping streets I know and it is horrible seeing it take away from the local coffee shops and cafe's. I am not a fan of Starbucks culture.

Plus generally speaking, I just think it must be mind numbing for kiddies to sit in a Starbucks for such an extended period of time.

PenguinArmy · 16/03/2011 01:50

I have to say that it never entered our heads for a group of us to go to a coffee shop. They're so small and awkard and generally not good for groups.

We used to meet up in those large family friendly pubs that are rammed on Sundays (but on a tues afternoon). We could sit in a section out of peoples way and there were still plenty of free sections. We wouldn't go there if the school holidays were on. Also most people did have lunch there.

When they got older, the group switched to peoples houses (i.e. weaning and kids more mobile), but at this point people were back at work so there were as many people to entertain.

The lounges at these things are often taken up by vendors at the corporate events so are actively used.

TheBossofMe · 16/03/2011 01:59

YABU for two reasons:

  1. Its not really a Starbucks coffee shop, is it? Its a hotel lounge where there also happens to be a Starbucks counter. So I'm not sure why you think its appropriate to meet in a hotel lounge, regardless of who runs the coffee counter. I mean, you wouldn't walk into the Ritz and have a Mums meet in their lobby, so not sure why you thought this would be different. Its the hotel that doesn't want you there, I suspect - they want the lounge used for their residents, business users and occassionally passing trade (passing being the operative word - not a bunch of Mums who take up all the space on a regular basis, distrupting their core trade). Anyway, Starbucks hardly claims being family friendly as a central USP, does it?
  1. 6-8 mums and babies is a LOT of people, equipment etc in any venue. You remind me of a group of Mum's I met on ML who when used to meet in a local cafe, drink 2 cups of coffee each over a 4 hour period, take up 6 of the 8 table, left crap everywhere etc. When I said I thought it would be better to meet in someone's house, they looked horrified and said "but think about all the mess!".
thumbwitch · 16/03/2011 02:27

I think YA possibly BU as well, pretty much for all the reasons set out here.

I went to meet a MNer in a café last week - we met right at the back, which is where the mums& babies/toddlers tend to sit because there is a play room area there. So far, not much problem. Except that one mum had a giant twin buggy that was effectively blocking the access to the back few tables, because she had it behind the bench she was sitting on, rather than pushed over to the wall where there was a space for buggies to be parked. The table with the benches was right in the middle - in theory, one should have been able to pass either side of it to reach the back tables; but this double buggy blocked one route, and three other singles blocked the other.

Apart from anything else, it's bloody dangerous in the event of a fire, or if someone's toddler manages to get through the tangle of wheels and legs it to the front door! FGS, have some sense and consideration and leave your buggies elsewhere! (Note to all café owners etc. - make sure there is a space where buggies etc. can be left!)

Morloth · 16/03/2011 02:56

You haven't actually been banned though have you? They have just rented out the space to someone else.

If you want to use it as a regular meeting place and not have them do this why don't you arrange to rent the space yourselves on an ongoing basis?

TheBossofMe · 16/03/2011 04:19

Good point, Morloth. I just noticed it took 6 visits before they were told the space was used for something else - in which case I think the hotel have been very patient!

I love the OP noticing that it says "sit and relax" on a sign, but not considering that having a very large Mum's and Babies group going on in the lounge may not be very relaxing at all for anyone else wanting to use the space!

Moral of the story is - if you are trying to have a regular meet up with a large group (and 6-8 families is large in anyones's book), you either need to cough up and rent some space or do it in your own home. Don't expect a business to let you use the space for free.

aurynne · 16/03/2011 05:54

I honestly can't think of a more off-putting setting when I want to sit and relax in a coffee house than finding it taken by a group of mums-and-bubs. I would be out of there so fast that you could see the dust clouds rising after I was gone...