to turn down a scholarship for DC1

[7pluspanic]

DC1 is in a state school but has just been offered a scholarship to an excellent prep school. DC2 and the subsequent ones will go through the state system. We would have educated privately (we went all the way through) but have 4 DCs and it's just not possible. DC1 would thrive in the environment, it's an excellent school academically, and obviously there are all the facilities and extras that he would be exposed to.

However, I can't help thinking that if we can't offer that sort of education for all of them, we shouldn't give it to just one of them - it would be so devisive amongst the siblings and expose DC1 to a completely different social milieu.

So, AIBU to turn it down? Or do we have a duty to give him the chance to fulfil his academic potential, even though we think that he would do so through the (very good) state school.

i would have allowed my dc to attend the school for the reasons stated by the others, ie he won the place

no doubt it will be tricky to manage in the future should your other dcs not follow the steps and have some special education, but this is where your role as a parent is so crucial

i understand your concerns, but maybe by opting out on behalf of your ds you are really taking an easy way out for yourself? i know, it is a v v hard decision to make, but i would take up the scholarship

good luck in whatever you do!!

7plus you have a bright child. Do not for one minute think that he hasn't worked out what these 'quizzes' are for. I assume he sat these exams at the private school a d would have spoken to other dcs whilst there or overhead others talking about why they are there. Just because he hasn't spoken to you about it means nothing. My Ds is in yr 2 and it is amazing what he 'knows' without me ever discussing directly with him.

As others have said you need to do what is right for him. Why did you bother to look at another school if you weren't seriously interested? My Ds will be doing choral auditions next year and even though it is a year away I've already thought long and hard about whether Ds will do them and discussed it with him. He fully appreciates what is involved if he is successful and gets offered a scholarship. I didn't realise quite how much he understood until his grandma recounted in detail what he had told her.