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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To insist on a new suite when my husband needs a car?

36 replies

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:15

I suspect I am but I cannot live with our suite any more. It is horrible. I feel totally humiliated at the mere thought of anyone seeing it. it's tatty and the chair has a massive hole in the side and the seat is split from side to side and the bottom is broken.

I am so embarrassed that I won't let anyone visit the house.

We can get a second hand one but we need a car for Himself so that he can market (new business start) we live rurally, he will not be able to market to people via public transport! this isn't london or anything and I can't let him use my car because I have to do the school runs - 2 schools 7 minutes apart by car, pick ups at the same time! It's hard enough by car. I would have to be superwoman to do it without!

So he needs a car. but if I don't get a half decent suite I am going to cry. And he is now starting to make noises about how he must have a car and do we really need a suite adn we may have to wait.

So AIBU to refuse to discuss it and have what was basically a huge hissy fit at him over it?

Would you have a suite like I describe, for the Greater Good? Am I being selfish?

OP posts:

squeakytoy · 13/03/2011 22:18

Look on ebay for a suite, you can pick up some fab bargains on there, and hopfully afford a car too then!

Katey1010 · 13/03/2011 22:19

I covered ours with cheap fabric while I saved for another. We still don't have the new suite (baby instead )

iheartdusty · 13/03/2011 22:19

freecycle??

suites lose so much of their value, people are quite likely to give them away IME

ringoffire · 13/03/2011 22:19

YES

Littlefish · 13/03/2011 22:19

Sorry Hec. Chuck a throw/blanket over the sofa and put up with it. Alternatively, have a look on freecycle for a free suite to keep you going for a year, until you can afford a new one (after the car).

If his business is a serious concern, and a car is essential to it, then the car has to take priority.

thisisyesterday · 13/03/2011 22:20

i would put throws on the suite for now,

but i'd be looking at cheap second hand car, and a second hand suite... make your money go as far as possible.
in fact, keep an eye out on freecylce for a suite if you aren't already

ObscureReference · 13/03/2011 22:20

YABU.

SoupDragon · 13/03/2011 22:21

Sadly, yes you are I'm afraid.

Bogeyface · 13/03/2011 22:22

I'm sorry, and that comes from the heart because I am desperate for new sofas too, but...YABU.

He needs it for his new business, which if he does his marketing well will create enough income for you to buy a nice brand new sofa soon hopefully!

There wont be much satisfaction sitting on your new sofa if his business isnt making any money.

I hate my sofas, I am desperate for new ones, so I do feel your pain but in this instance I think that perhaps you need to look at the bigger picture.

Original poster

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:23

yes. you are all right. I am being selfish. I know this. I am just so ashamed of the suite. But you are right. If I get the suite it had better be bloody comfy since we will be sitting on it all day because my husband will have no work.

I knew I was being unreasonable really, I suppose. I was just, I dunno

I am not a member of freecycle and wouldnt' you have to give stuff before such a big ask as a suite?

OP posts:

SecretNutellaFix · 13/03/2011 22:24

look out on ebay for local bargains for your suite.

He does need the car for work which will hopefully mean more money coming in so you can eventually get a decent suite.

I totally understand where you are coming from though- it sucks to have to put up with uncomfortable, broken furniture.

Original poster

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:25

thanks. Kick up the bum and big dose of perspective needed and duly administered

we will get the car.

And get throws for the suite.

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 13/03/2011 22:27

You could always sit in the new car :o

Original poster

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:27

haha I love you lot.

OP posts:

thisisyesterday · 13/03/2011 22:28

some groups say you have to offer before you can post a wanted ad. but suites come up fairly regularly on our group and there are no rules about requesting something even if you're brand new...

it's what it was made for.

ChoasTrulyReigns · 13/03/2011 22:32

No, no, no, no, no, no no, no, no, no, noooooooooo.

I have the solution to all your problems Hec.

HTH.

Bogeyface · 13/03/2011 22:32

Ooh serious face on a minute...

Do you have a YMCA shop near you? We do and they often have sofas and suites for sale for around the £50-60 mark. Ok so they are second hand but they dont have holes in them! And as they will be structurally sound, you can cover them with throws to match your decor.

Just a thought :)

Original poster

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:35

chaos, you always make me laugh.

you don't answer my questions, but you make me laugh...

no. no ymca but thinking about it, there is a charity furniture shop in sheffield. I'm not proud. charity shop is more than fine! I may have a run over.

OP posts:

ChoasTrulyReigns · 13/03/2011 22:38

IndignanceTrulyReigns.

I did, I so blinking did.

AyeRobot · 13/03/2011 22:38

Do you have any sale rooms near you? You can pick up brilliant bargains from house clearances etc. Or keep an eye out for bankrupt stock sales. Small ads definitely. There is no money in 2nd hand furniture so you can pick up some real bargains.

Think positive! You can do both.

beesimo · 13/03/2011 22:45

It is up to you if you are going to be naughty or nice but don't buy anything in the next two weeks. All retail outlets are struggling so have a good look round to see something you would really want then go in last day of March say I want that but I want it for 30 percent off you will probably get it. They will be desperate to get the money in by the end of the financial year. It is not cheeky they will still make a bit on the item remember'shy bairns get nowt'

Original poster

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:46

erm. you did NONE of the 'not alone' things. Not one.

Your other half remained un-honka'd

will also check small ads. in these days of the internet, I hadn't considered the papers.

OP posts:

QBEE · 13/03/2011 22:47

whereabouts are you?

Original poster

HecateTheCrone · 13/03/2011 22:48

beesimo - do you think that would work? Himself is a master haggler but I get too embarrassed I feel like they think we can't afford it if we haggle.

which is true. But like my old granny used to say, it's one thing to be poor, it's another to be seen to be poor.

2 weeks you say? thanks.

OP posts:

tethersend · 13/03/2011 22:50

Am I the ONLY one who thought this thread was about a bathroom suite?

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