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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

MN jury required on whether I am a prude

109 replies

SenoritaViva · 11/03/2011 09:28

This morning DH and DD (3 almost 4) are sitting up in bed. I am getting dressed. Take top off, this is the discussion:

DH 'Mummy has fantastic boobies, DD say Mummy has fantastic boobies, go on say Mummy has fantastic boobies'

I ask him to stop doing that, he thinks I am a prude, I think it is a bit strange!

Don't have problem with DD seeing me naked (nor DH obviously!) and this is not a case of being worried this will turn DD into a lesbian, if she's gay she's gay. Also didn't have problem with DH eyeing me up and making faces behind DD, fine and amusing. But I just didn't want him to include DD in this. Secondly, was concerned she'd go to school chanting 'My mummy has fantastic boobies'. Albeit amusing, somewhat embarrassing for me.

This is not some ball breaker argument, I'd just like to know whether I have lost my sense of humour and being prudish, or whether like me, you think it a bit odd.

OP posts:

CPtart · 11/03/2011 10:06

I would find it a bit worrying actually!

Original poster

SenoritaViva · 11/03/2011 10:06

Thanks everyone for your comments, going to try to clean house now, so not running from thread (although in all likelihood I'll be commenting more as opposed to cleaning!)

OP posts:

Iggly · 11/03/2011 10:06

YANBU

That is very weird.

Imagine if your dad had told you to say your mum's "boobies" looked good? Or your grandad said that about your gran (unlikely, but hey!)

Original poster

SenoritaViva · 11/03/2011 10:06

laquitar - sorry what guy comment?

OP posts:

Laquitar · 11/03/2011 10:14

Sorry Senorita,
i meant gay comment.

'and this is not a case of being worried this will turn dd into a lesbian, if she is gay she is gay'.

Did you write this because you thought that we will think this way or did your dh said this?

suzikettles · 11/03/2011 10:17

What merrylegs said. It's a bit crappy when adults teach little children to say something for their own amusement imo.

Not in the same ballpark (because I can't get myself very worked up about "boobies"), but I once overheard a group of women egging on a toddler to say "you fucker". Oh how hillarious

SunRaysthruClouds · 11/03/2011 10:25

Blimey I think this is just proof that women and men have a different sense of humour, since 95% think yanbu.
But what the hell, it was a light hearted comment and I cannot see it was sexualising anything, just being open and able to talk about your bodies.

And if anyone else mentions 'abuse' I will be convinced that MN is brainwashing the more gullible and that ultimately there is no hope for man.

You probably are NBU but only in the sense that you didn't find it as amusing, but are BU if you read any more into it.

DrunkenDaisy · 11/03/2011 10:26

'yum yum nice bum'?
barf

hairylights · 11/03/2011 10:29

sunray this is inappropriate sexualising behaviour which is clearly covered in child protection training. And which adults can testify, having been subject to it as children, is damaging.

I would say a man admiring his partners naked breasts in bed is sexual behaviour.

Nothing to do with mumsnet Brainwashing people fgs.

slightlymadmoo · 11/03/2011 10:31

you're not being a prude imo but at least your DH gave you a compliment, in a strange way.

prettybird · 11/03/2011 10:37

Of course it is "barf": my dh has an annoying endearing habit of putting lots of things into rhyme.

.... it's something he often said to me even before we had ds But I like having a dh who still appreciates my body :)

ZacharyQuack · 11/03/2011 10:42

Go on, admit it, the only reason for this thread is to tell us all that you have fantastic boobs.

worraliberty · 11/03/2011 10:48

This is kind of off topic but it did make me laugh...

Yesterday I was waiting for my son's class to come out of school. As it was really cold, the Head suggested we wait in the corridor (parents usually don't) So I'm standing inside with a few Mums, when my Son's yr 3 class came out.

One little boy looked up and said "Wow! Lovely ladies in our corridor!"

It was hilarious considering he was only 8 as well. I think he's going to be a real little charmer

OTheHugeManatee · 11/03/2011 10:48

Don't know if you're being a prude or not.

But I'm about your fantastic boobies.

messylittlemonkey · 11/03/2011 10:51

You're not a prude!

squeakytoy · 11/03/2011 10:57

You are not being a prude, but its also not that big a drama as some seem to be making out on here.

I would find it more of a problem if he was encouraging her to say something like "mummy has a wobbly belly"...

LilllyLovesLife · 11/03/2011 11:00

I would have a big problem with this. My daughter is 3 and I would be notified if my DH did that. My DDs see me naked all the time and we do talk about bobbies etc but not telling them to say things that, realistically, are sexual.

LilllyLovesLife · 11/03/2011 11:01

And TBH it's not all that different to you getting her to say that Daddy has a big/nice/whatever willy - is it?! which is just plain wrong IMO

happiestblonde · 11/03/2011 11:06

YANBU but boobies I wouldn't have such a big problem with, I used to be amused by my mother's and it wasn't 'sexualising' me in the slightest - least of all using the term boobies. Was it your fanjo or his bits it'd be different, but this is just my opinion.

Toplistmaker · 11/03/2011 11:25

Yes, Very weird.. I agree with Hairylights.

TobyLerone · 11/03/2011 11:32

I don't think this is the big deal you (and many other commenters) are making it out to be, at all. It was a lighthearted compliment and I'm sure your husband wasn't trying to 'involve your daughter in sexualised behaviour'.

YANBU for being bothered by it, because what bothers one person is not something that will bother everyone.

I am very confused by what your daughter turning gay has to do with anything though

Ormirian · 11/03/2011 11:36

I think it's inappropriate too. Breasts are not just sexual things but that is one of their functions. How would you feel if your DD repeated this out of the house? Which she is quite likely too as she won't have any sense of privacy and tabboo as yet.

Ormirian · 11/03/2011 11:40

"Go on DD, tell daddy what a lovely big dick he's got! Go on, tell him!"

It's not about being ashamed of your bodies, it's about knowing where boundaries are and not crossing them.

squeakytoy · 11/03/2011 11:47

"go on DD tell daddy what a lovely bum he has.. go on tell him!"

Bum and boobies are on display, even when clothed, and to me, that is different than talking about your genitals.

clitorisorclitoraint · 11/03/2011 11:57

Agree with other posters that it's a bit much.

DP would never say that about my breasts in front of DD...

...but then that's probably because I don't have 'fantastic boobies'

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