AIBU or is my mum, re DP coming in from work

[abenstille]

Was on the phone to mum tonight and I was saying I wouldn't mind getting my 17month old dd into bed 1/2 hour early as the tantrums from her all day have wore me out (we went clothes shopping - always a mistake!)My thoughts were I could sit down and have a cuppa, nosy at other peoples day on mumsnet and just generally drop my shoulders and BREATHE. My mum, when I mentioned the half an hour, instantly jumped in with " Oh that would be nice, you could get ready for Mr Abenstille coming in"
"Oh" I say dinners already in the slow cooker so at least that's done.
Mum responds " No, I mean re-do your hair and touch up your make up, titivate yourself"
I was a bit . I mean I got up this morning, showered, blow dried my hair, put on my normal minimal look make-up and wore jeans and a nice top. Now I know mum couldnt see me, but I do this every morning. Does she think I always look like Ive made no effort or does she think that a womans role is to keep enticing her man back into the net?
Do people just forget how demanding it is looking after a willful toddler?
Should I be 'titivating' myself every evening before DP comes home? Do you?

This was good practice in the 50s. Maybe that helps to make your mind up.

It's just different peoples different opinions. With an extra half hour some people want to veg out like you, others would use it like your Mum. I'd probably do a bit of both tbh

Of course. Bit of lippy and some high heels. Warm his slippers and get him a drink.
Otherwise he may leave you and you will be alone which is shameful. You have to keep your man.

I am almost sure that is right.
No, really.

at titivate yourself.

I have a bit of a tidy up before DH comes back, but just so it looks like I've got some semblance of control.

Does it matter to you what your mum thinks of how you look?

note to self: must titivate self more often.

"pagwatch, how mny times have you been told not to mess around with that time machine?"

i think dh would be quite alarmed if i titivated myself late afternoon

Stay young and beautiful if you want to be loooooved...

I reckon your plan sounded better.

Isn't titivate a lovely word though?

Be sure not to tire him with boring talk of your day.

Laugh at his jokes-even if you dont find them funny.

[smooths down poplin shirtwaister and adopts coquettish look in readiness for dh to enter room and watch top gear]

Makes me think of
this

Nonononono - don't LAUGH, you have to TINKLE!

aww, but the 50s were great. The clothes were so cool.

As it goes I think dh would be really happy to come home and find me titivating. The children would need therapy though.

Am also at titivating now - thanks, needed that!
Agent - yes it does matter what my mum thinks of how I look - I have no idea why really
pagwatch - fortunately dp is a man of no slippers (firmly believing he will become'old' the moment he puts them on . I do get him a drink though whist getting my own

My MIL always used to retouch her make up just before her husband came in. I don't think it did her any harm, she wasn't exactly a stepford wife.

My OH would think i'd lost the plot if he came home to find me "titavated".
Bit 1950's don't you think?

fuck off!
I do the scrunchy test....take it out, if my hair stays exactly there in place...then its time for a shower and hair wash.

Titivate my arse! no, not me, i cant be arsed and do you know, my DH bloody loves me even though i am an exhausted minger

If I was wearing make up and looking pristine when DH came in, he'd assume I was up to something or having an affair :)

Do you have the kind of relationship where you perhaps look for your mums approval abenstille?

Does she criticise you with other stuff you do?

She does seem to think she has the right to comment on how you run your household.

I'd rather titillate myself

I don't titivate but on the odd occasion I feel I look halfway decent I make a point of making sure DH notices 'Oi, look. I look nice today, don't I?'
Just so he knows I can look nice now and again.

My mum reckons I should spend every spare second tidying the house so that DH will see what a good little home maker I am.

I think I will choose to ignore both my mother and OPs mother.

Were I lucky enough to have had a day off work and got DD into bed, I would be in bed myself, dozing whilst watching TV in trackies/PJs with a nice cup of tea and some biccies. DH, if he were lucky, would have supper waiting in the oven. On an off day, he'd have a note pointing out what ingredients were available for a DIY supper. If your Mum complains, tell her about all the slatterns like me who are so much worse than you! YANBU.

I do the opposite. I go to work wearing make-up, hair straightened, high heels, skirt-suit etc. Then I come home put my jogging bottoms, a jumper and slippers on ready for DH to come home!!!

@ herbietea - your mum should be happy you don't put his dinner in the dog!

@ abenstille - you should also put a ribbon in the children's hair and get his pipe ready. Remember he has had a tiring day at work and does not want to hear about your boring day!