AIBU or is my mum, re DP coming in from work

[abenstille]

Was on the phone to mum tonight and I was saying I wouldn't mind getting my 17month old dd into bed 1/2 hour early as the tantrums from her all day have wore me out (we went clothes shopping - always a mistake!)My thoughts were I could sit down and have a cuppa, nosy at other peoples day on mumsnet and just generally drop my shoulders and BREATHE. My mum, when I mentioned the half an hour, instantly jumped in with " Oh that would be nice, you could get ready for Mr Abenstille coming in"
"Oh" I say dinners already in the slow cooker so at least that's done.
Mum responds " No, I mean re-do your hair and touch up your make up, titivate yourself"
I was a bit . I mean I got up this morning, showered, blow dried my hair, put on my normal minimal look make-up and wore jeans and a nice top. Now I know mum couldnt see me, but I do this every morning. Does she think I always look like Ive made no effort or does she think that a womans role is to keep enticing her man back into the net?
Do people just forget how demanding it is looking after a willful toddler?
Should I be 'titivating' myself every evening before DP comes home? Do you?

but its nice to titivate yourself before your hubby gets home or when you know he will be around once in a while?

ha ha ha ha ha - never knew they had a name (or that they were anything to do with hair oil!)What a great word repeats it to self over and over in a must learn sort of a way

Ooops, did not mean to bold that

I thought this thread was going to be about your Mum saying it's a shame your Husband/Partner will miss the chance of seeing the little one if she goes to bed early!

(Also does the scrunchy test)

What were the point in having dollies over all the furniture? My Grans house was covered in them and I never understood why

I work - dh is a SAHD

he never titivates himself for me

I wonder what it would look like

Hair oil was popular with men - macassar oil. It marked the chairs. The look outlasted the hair trend.

The doilies thing generally I don't know. I suppose they protected surfaces from being marked by ornaments etc.

Oh my mother's just the same. The only person who's more worried than my mother about my failure to titivate is MIL, who is most anxious and no doubts sits at home worrying that I may have no makeup on. As far as I can tell DH doesn't share their concerns.

I do the opposite. I go to work wearing make-up, hair straightened, high heels, skirt-suit etc. Then I come home put my jogging bottoms, a jumper and slippers on ready for DH to come home!!!

Me too. And he gets to see me looking lovely for about 12 minutes in the morning, which is plenty

Amanda - am picturing your mil anxiously tapping dust free sideboard with gleamingly polished nails wondering whether to go for clinique or lancome vouchers for your birthday. Or would she go straight for no7?

Loving this thread. I am all tarted up for work every day, heels, straightened hair, the lot, and then crawl into pj's for the evening with DH.

He does occasionally complain that I should lounge around in a chemise or hotpants

Does titivating assist the ttc process?

I work with DH, so during the course of the day he sees me :

• in dressing gown and bedhead, with pillow creases on face
• in nice work clothes, hair done, makeup on, nice shoes
• in sweats, old t-shirt, no bra, slippers
• in PJs

I don't think he's ever noticed any difference.

My mother is shocked that I let DH heat up his own meal (all ready for him, home-cooked, but he gets in so late it would be ash if I left it in the oven) when he gets home from work. She regularly also remarks that "surely DH likes to see you in a skirt occasionally?" ARGHGHGHGHGH Every time I put on a skirt (and I only have 2 which fit me even vaguely), DD2 wipes her snotty nose on it (memo to anyone contemplating it, long black skirt = too tempting a target for toddler!)

So in this age of equality when I get in from work should I expect my dh (sahd) to have put some make up on and titivated himself

I 'titivate' myself once a week when DP gets home from 2 nights working away, involving lingerie and a 3 course meal. I do this because we have no DCs and because, crucially, he does not expect me to do it.

Of course you don't have to.

And when I was working I used to come home, shower, then 'slip into' pjs with wet hair and one of DPs jumpers. He loved it.,

After reading the comments made by the mums of mners I am not surprised that a good percentage of men are totally bloody useless at housework and can now confirm that it is entirely their stupid subserviant mother's fault.
It is one thing making an effort to look your best
but quite another believing that every waking hour should be spent serving a man's wishes.

My mil told sil even if you have had a blazing row with your dp and are not speaking, never refuse to have sex with him! As it is his right to have sex whenevr he wants it regardless of how you feel!

Dh wouldn't notice if I'd titivated, titillated or any other kind of tit-ated.

When he comes through the door he throws off his clothes and dives on...

... his dinner.

Honestly, if there's food in the vicinity DH wouldn't notice if I were doing a striptease with nipple tassles, gold lame g-string and ten inch heels, never mind a ribbon in my hair and a slick of 'Coral Bay' lipstick.

muminthemiddle [shock[

Oops

My DH does find me sexiest when I am doing dishes. Which is inconvenient as it's his bloody job so I rarely do it. He doesn't tell me he finds it sexy but it's pretty, erm, obvious.

Whoever said the key is that it's not expected had it right. I don't mind play-acting as a domestic goddess with heels and lingerie but if he thought he'd be getting that every night, mrphooey could eff right off and then some more.

Abenstille that image is exactly right. Although for my birthday I will be getting pink clothes of some description.

Lol @ Shodan!

Meet him at the door with a gin and tonic in a reviling nighty and then meet his every need!

I think it's nice when old married couples make an effort for eachother.. but don't think it should be expected either. Also while I do think it's a very nice idea I haven't actually done it in a very long time..

Vajazzhands considers ways to titivateherself with 3 year old mascara and dried out chapstick.

Vajazzhands gives up.