AIBU or is my mum, re DP coming in from work

[abenstille]

Was on the phone to mum tonight and I was saying I wouldn't mind getting my 17month old dd into bed 1/2 hour early as the tantrums from her all day have wore me out (we went clothes shopping - always a mistake!)My thoughts were I could sit down and have a cuppa, nosy at other peoples day on mumsnet and just generally drop my shoulders and BREATHE. My mum, when I mentioned the half an hour, instantly jumped in with " Oh that would be nice, you could get ready for Mr Abenstille coming in"
"Oh" I say dinners already in the slow cooker so at least that's done.
Mum responds " No, I mean re-do your hair and touch up your make up, titivate yourself"
I was a bit . I mean I got up this morning, showered, blow dried my hair, put on my normal minimal look make-up and wore jeans and a nice top. Now I know mum couldnt see me, but I do this every morning. Does she think I always look like Ive made no effort or does she think that a womans role is to keep enticing her man back into the net?
Do people just forget how demanding it is looking after a willful toddler?
Should I be 'titivating' myself every evening before DP comes home? Do you?

when I told my friend I wasnt getting on with my DH at the moment she told me I needed to give him a BJ every morning . Not before my cornflakes surley . LOL she was serious by the way

You're all going to lose your hubbies unless you learn how to be a good wife

Now ladies, all the advice you need...

How to Be a Good Wife

Claim: A list of ten steps to a good marriage comes from a 1950s home economics textbook.

1. Have dinner ready:

1. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

1. Clear away the clutter.

1. Prepare the children: They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

1. Minimize the noise: At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of washer, dryer, dishwasher or vacuum.

1. Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner.

1. Make him comfortable: Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

1. Listen to him: You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

1. Make the evening his: Try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

10. The goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can relax. Cl

Pollo, that looks like the same source for the link I put ^^ up there.

Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.

I'm doing well if my husband looks up from the laptop when I come home from work. Any titivating happens after we've all had dinner and the small one is in bed and the dishes done.

And usually not then, tbh.

My DP would rather I sat on my arse chilling out and was all relaxed when she sauntered through the door after work. If I bothered titivating myself she'd wonder what I'd been up to

i dont know when the last time i wore makeup was!

My mum always did the same..

She used to say "it's easy to get a man, much harder to keep him".....

Mine you, she looked better doing the gardening than I do when I go out! So I have no idea why she thought she needed to titivate herself...

She is surely turning in her grave when she looks down on me wearing my trackies, sweatshirt and no bra!

Bless.

"Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him. " (from the link above)

But then MN would be practically empty!

I've stayed in my work clothes if I felt I looked pretty good until my dh comments on what a stunner he has for a wife. As soon as he does I'm off upstairs to change. I'll give gentle pushes shoves until he does (my limit is usually 5 mins).

This probably only happens twice a year.

I also haven't worn make up since our wedding.

1. Prepare yourself: Take 15 minutes to rest so you will be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. Be a little gay and a little more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Actually if I would just be a little gay that would be more than enough "titivation" for DH

I think somewhere between militant slattern and Stepford Housewife lies the happy medium.

There are enough MNers who complain that their DPs have "given up" on personal hygiene and general appearance. Cuts both ways.

But OPs question was different. Her mum says she should titivate, OP says does she need to as she has already "showered, blow dried my hair, put on my normal minimal look make-up and wore jeans and a nice top. Now I know mum couldnt see me, but I do this every morning." Sounds fine to me. Should OP put a comb through the hair and lipstick before Mr Absentille comes home? I think the answer is to try it and see the reaction. If he notices - result! If not, no need to bother unless it's for her own satisfaction.

Looking nice for your partner is hardly a crime.

I quite enjoy titivating myself.

I've read all the comments, and I'd just like to say, for the record, that ALL of these answers are why I love MNetters so much!

YANBU, it's never ever even crossed my mind to titivate myself before DH gets home! I'm more about titivating the house so he doesn't think I've been sitting on my arse watching TV busy with other things all day.

LOL at OP's mum

I have taken the afternoon off to titivate myself for DH coming home

If DH was to run off due to make-up and titivation deficiency on the home front I don't think he'd be that much of a loss.

abenstille don't forget to mug up on topic of interest to HIM, so you can have interesting conversations about football and car maintenance. But be careful now - you don't want to come across as too clever. Men don't like bluestockings.

I switch off the pcwhen he gets in and that's as far as I'm prepared to go

so far it's going well, I have had a cup of coffee and MNed a bit

well I've removed my snotty jeans (very snotty 1yo) and put a clean pair of jogging bottoms on........does that count? I tend to go out titivated during the day and then have untitivated myself into PJs or joggers by the time DH gets in.

If he came in and found me in heels and full makeup he would assume I was on my way out somewhere!

I want a 1950s wife. I am a woman by the way.

I remember my MIL telling me about the time she locked herself out of the house and had to knock on the door of a neighbour so that she and her 3 small children could wait inside somewhere until FIL got home to unlock the door.

She says that all the time she was at the neighbours she was scared and FIL would be angry that there was no dinner on the table when he got back

So glad DH doesn't take after his Dad!

I agree, plantsitter. If I had a wife my life would be sooo much easier...:o

"Be a little gay and a little more interesting".

Possibly quote of the year and truer than anything else I've read on here today. Although I prefer a bigger gay myself.