To want/expect a holiday, even though we have been a bit skint?

[carmenelectra]

Basically I am really, really pissed off a DP today.

I discussed booking this years family holiday with him yesterday and completely put me off.

We go abroad every year and it is the one thing i really, really enjoy. I very rarely go out or have weekends away anymore, so its the big thing I look forward to. I am willing to sacrifice everything for a wk in the sun.

Now the last couple of years we(I) have overcommitted ourselves finacially and last year things were at times very tough. My Dp put off all of my holidays plans and asked me to wait 'to see how it goes'.

Well, it went nowhere. I usually book up quite early and take advanatge of cheaper flights and longer to pay the holiday off, get spending money clothes etc. As I waited to see how money panned out, we didn't get a holiday at all. I was furious at first, but as I understood most of our outgoings were due to my overspending I accepted it.

Roll on to this year. DP is basically saying he doesnt think we have the spare cash upfront which is true. However, I suggested booking the holiday giving ourselves the incentive and then wotking at paying it of. I have a well paid job and gets lots of regular overtime with very good pay. Dp is the same.

Now he is saying that to go away in the summer we would have to put 'X' away each month and he doesnt think it's feasible.

I thought it was all quite 'doable', but now he has put a huge spanner in the works and put a real dampener on the whole thing.

I think deep down he isnt that bothered about a holiday, he can take it or leave it, hence the lack of enthusiasum.

Now I know some people are going to say that we shouldnt be having luxuries like hols if we have been short of cash, but I disagree. I am talking about a hol in Europe, no biggy.

So am i being unreasonable when I work all hours god sends, to expect a bloody weeks holiday?

Bogeyface stop it with the attacks. You can make your point without that type of business.

And you haven't attacked anyone Bupcakes?

"I have foregone a new car, an i-phone, i-pad etc so we can have 2 holidays this year. Sometimes it is a question of priorities. Yes we are debt free and have savings, but a break in the sun (especially when we have bext to no summer here) is needed. If the OP's debt is manageable and they can afford it, why not?"

Hear, hear!

I was given a choice this year; use our money to buy me a car OR a holiday. I would prefer to walk everywhere and get free exercise and get to have a blissful week with DH and DS. I feel I need it. I do. Some of you won't agree but then I don't agree that all of you need cars.

Where have I attacked? I've called no-one any names.

I don't really see how you can have a fit of the vapours over someone else's finances, tbh. Advise, yes. Get in a lather over? Nope. Silly.

Where is the attack?! I said she has no money sense because she admits that she spends all her spare cash on more shopping than they need, or crap! It would be an attack if it wasnt true but it is, she said so herself!

Holiday or not, it wont make her pay off her debts any quicker so hey, why the hell not be the spoilt brat and disrespect and ignore her partner, who supported her through her cock up, and do what she likes? As long as she is happy then thats all that matters right?!

"She is a stupid spoilt brat who clearly has no more money sense than your average 2 year old."

Attack.

I'm not sure why you personally are so wound up by this. You said earlier that she "made you sick" Bit of an extreme reaction to a situation that affects no-one but OP and her family. It's not like she's asking YOU for the money.

It has wound me up because I hate to see people treating others in such a shoddy way just to get something they want. It is appalling behaviour and really makes me mad. Her DP is clearly supportive of her, otherwise he wouldnt have agreed to the consolidation of *her debt, and to treat him like this "DP will get over it" is just so disrespectful and nasty, it makes me wonder what her feelings for him really are.

And if it was an attack then so be it, imo she is a stupid spoilt brat!

Calm down, Bogeyface.

To the untrained eye, I ride roughshod over my DH. I say throwaway stuff like "Oh he'll get over it!" but behind closed doors, there are all sorts of checks and balances in our relationship that mean that we are very equal and neither of us feel like a doormat for the other.

I think you're being really fucking harsh over this, that's all.

Fairy nuff! I maybe a bit sensitive to this sort of thing for my own reasons, but as you can see it is a real sore point!

The OP has got her holiday anyway so this is all rather redunant isnt it?!

Well, I suspect she might NOT have if he DH vetoes her decision!

I just think some perspective is needed. It's not like she wants 35K for a bog made of diamonds.

Just the thought of that has bought tears to my eyes!

And surely for decent quality good provenance diamonds you are looking at ten times that? I dont mind missing holidays but I will not stint on my jewel encrusted bathroom fittings. I do have some effing standards you now! :o

Ask my hero Mariah Carey. She knows all about this type of thing

I'd also like to point out that it's 2012 next year and, well, we all know what that means so saving for a rainy day can swivel. I'm orf to Magalurf!

Okay,
some posters have been shockingly rude.

Some of my posts have been lighthearted. My Dp would not, absolutely, not be LEAVING me if I booked a holiday that he didn't really agree with. I do not treat him like shit as bogeyface has implied. Iam a very loving considerate partner with a good sense of humour. I can wrap him around my little finger if I want to, but not in a disrespctable way.

When I said I would book it and he would get over it i kinda meant it,but again, not in a bad way. HE doesn't think it's a good idea. It's not a deal breaker like I have run off with another fella for example.

He is sensible, I am not so.

I NEVER said that i owed thousands of pounds as some posts implied or even12k, that was an example.

Now those that say they have no no debt and go on holiday well fairplay. Does that mean no mortgage? Our mortgage is very low, less than £50,000. So even with my new consolidated debts I probably owe less than the posters with no other debt apart from mortgage.

Yes I suppose I do already know what I am going to do. I was just asking if I really was massively out of order in wanting a hol.

I still don't think so. I don't want a round the world cruise, a loft conversion, new car. Just a little break and some sun.

For those who suggested the UK, WELL we do usually go somewhre in this country for a few days, but not as a main holiday. There are some beautiful places to visit if you get the weather(unlikely) and if you dont, then you spend shit loads amusing yourselves. Also, i would not spend £500 a acottage as that is not cheap. You still need spending money.

We usually spend less than £500 on our accommodation abroad and that includes some meals.

Turkey is the place we frequent the most(I am a lover too, desperate) and have been going for many yrs. I have travelleed extensively around the country and have learnt the language. Now it is absolutely NOT a shithole where we go. No lager louts, people 'copulating in the streets' or chips with everything. We eat in Turkish restuarants usually, that erve Turkish food. Chips are not part of our staple diet. So marianne, you are at least one poster who is generalising about a place that you do not know.

As for needing a holiday and not being happy the rest of the year, wrong again. On my days off or before I go to work I take the children out everyday- aprk, libaray etc. Weekends, or when we are both off we do stuff as a family, days out with other family, pub lunches, picnics etc. I have a nice life, but it is still hard work. Nothing compares to a holiday for me.I like a break and i like some culture. Its not just about sitting on the beach all day.

Oh and we go camping too.

Thanks for those who have given useful input and the posters who have really made me laugh. I'm pretty annoyed that have talked money management, or i should be ashamed of myself, I am a brat or the worst, my DP might leave me.Jesus.

Oh, BTW Its bikini, everytime, not tankini - that's to bupcakes

ecuse spelling, keyboard crap.

you are never going to Shagaluf are you bupcakes? Even I'm not that rough.

Whether you deserve a holiday or not isn't actually relevant if you have kids and debts you have no business wasting money on holidays.

Tighten up, clear the debts then you can enjoy your holiday stress free.

Am I fuckers, like.

Cefalonia for us this year, dearie. I do hope they have chips/Sky tele.

Bogeyface you are unbeliveably rude about my relationship.

WE have a great relationship. I am not a bitch and absolutely do not treat him bad. No need to feel sorry for my Dp. TRUST ME, he is not henpecked.

If there was something that he didnt want to that bad he would make it crystal clear.

He does not think a holiday is priority, probably because he does not feel as knackered as me and also because he has a hobby that he really likes. My hobby is going abroad!

Now, no relationship is on line here.Chillout. I havent gambled away the entire contents of the house. I am suggesting that we go away with the money that I will be earning.

Are people seriously suggesting that you should be debt free before booking a holiday? Totally?

Apart from the posters on here i don't know anyone who has NO debt. Oh and much older people who have paid off mortgage etc.

Like i said I have a mortgage less than 50k. And i will reiterate- I have never said that I owe thousands

Carmen-your outlook mirrors my own when it comes to holidays-Denial is a river in Egypt! (sorry, but the old ones are usually the best!)My DH "warned" that this year we would need to tighten our belts and may need to holday in a cottage in the Uk or possibly no holiday at all. I was fucked if I was having that! He enjoys holidays/travel but 'tis true to say he is not as "fixated" as me. So I took the stress out of the situation and researched a good deal to get him onside. Get thee to EasyJet-they had 20% off all flights-may have expired now. I recently got return flights to Seville for me, DH and baby for £180 in late May. Will use LateRooms or similar to source a decent hotel without paying over the odds.

DH is a from Yorkshire. They don't spend up there. He would think you a frivolous flibbertyjibbert. I'm not sure he's wrong.

thanks devilwoman

I do all my flights independently, but as it will be main season and possibly out of the EU, the flights are never mega cheap. Accommodation I get very cheap. However, then there are two passports that need replacing and some new clothes we need so it will still be 2 grand I reckon. Not a huge some though for a family of 5.

I would rather do that though, tham spend half the amount in this country and it pisses down all week.

quattro 'down here' I would call your DH tight.

That's my job :)

Don't be offended Quattro, i called my own DP a tight c*t last night.