Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

to think women are still fanciable at forty

121 replies

rozbury · 09/03/2011 12:40

DH and myself had a recent night out with a friend and her DH and the conversation got around to age gaps in relationships. We are all in our 40s.

My friend's DH then came out with the statement "all men in their forties and fifties would be with a 20 something woman if they had the opportunity". He then asked my DH if he would rather be with a 20 something woman. Luckily for him, my DH was too embarrassed to answer and changed the subject.

This comment has been on my mind abit because since having the kids I struggle to see myself as attractive anyway and now I'm looking at my DH thinking am I too old for him, even though he is 5 years older than me!!

I know loads of gorgeous women in their 40s so is this guy just a sexist pig or is there an element of truth in what he is saying?

OP posts:

blondepinhead · 09/03/2011 13:58

Hmm... just had a thought. I really don't find any slebs over 40 attractive, it's like there's an 'off' switch in my head. Oh god, I'm a shallow bee-atch, aren't I?

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 09/03/2011 14:01

You need this thread blonde

Ooopsadaisy · 09/03/2011 14:01

Johnny Depp is 47.

'Nuf said. lecherously.

littlebylittle · 09/03/2011 14:02

Erm, well I'm heading for forty, dp forty this year. No problems with each other finding each other attractive and beyond that I don't really care. If random people don't fancy us, never mind!

ledkr · 09/03/2011 14:15

my dh is a whole ten yrs younger than me,he persued me and we are stil mad about each other and have just had our first baby-i am 44 and yes i look better now than when in 20's-good lifestyle,diet etc.Before that i was single for a while and got loads of attention from men of all ages-so there you stupid man-

DaisyDaresYOU · 09/03/2011 14:15

My dp is 20 years older than me and he is attractive,tall, dark headed man and yes he can be a pain up the arse but I found the younger ones awful which is why I like older men.He didn't get with me purely for my age.We just connected.

DaisyDaresYOU · 09/03/2011 14:17

Dark haired not dark headed lol oops

DaisyDaresYOU · 09/03/2011 14:22

Oh btw yanbu that man was rude.I'd be really pissed off if someone had something like that in front of me.

DaisyDaresYOU · 09/03/2011 14:22

Had said something like that.Bloody phone.

manfromCUK · 09/03/2011 14:28

Bloke of 48 here - do not fancy women in their 20's at all and pleased about it. IMHO there is something a bit wrong if you do.

Ooopsadaisy · 09/03/2011 14:33

Right answer, manfromCUK. You are allowed to live.

southeastastra · 09/03/2011 14:36

i imagine women in their 40s may prefer a bloke in their 20s too given half a chance

foreverondiet · 09/03/2011 14:41

I think it depends.

Some women at 40 look around 60... from sun and smoking damage or by being overweight.

I am fitter now (am 36) and more toned than I was at 20, and I look better. I remember going to the Lake District with DH when I was 21 and I was out of breath walking up a small hill! I am also more confident etc.

Mymblesson · 09/03/2011 14:42

all men in their forties and fifties would be with a 20 something woman if they had the opportunity

Bwahahahaha! What a tosser.

My wife turned 40 last December and I fancy her now than I did when she was in her 20s.

I can't imagine finding any woman in her 20s even remotely interesting

Mobly · 09/03/2011 14:43

Some women are, some aren't I should imagine. Just the same as with twenty somethings.

I'm about to turn 30. I'm looking forward to it. Am I really going to age that much in 10yrs to become unattractive to the opposite sex? Don't think so.

My mum has a lovely figure and she's in her 50's.

I see 40's as young. Get a bit of botox or whatever, you'll take years off!

IcingOnTheCakes · 09/03/2011 14:45

Yes of course men can still fancy women in their 40s - there are plenty of very attractive women in their 30s and 40s!

There are also some very unattractive 40 year olds out there just like there are lots of unattractive women on their 20s too.

I think it's a bit unfair to say things like why should a man want a woman in their 20s blah blah because women in their 40s are better etc. You like what you like and that's it.

So you can women of all ages who are more attractive then others.

Ormirian · 09/03/2011 14:47

I beleive I mentioned DH's classic clanger on here before but it's still makes me laugh!

He has 2 TAs in his class. All young and rather lovely. I call them his 'harem'. The other day i said it was lucky i wasn't the jealous sort! He replied: "No darling, you've got nothing to worry about!" I waited for a suitably uxorious compliment but I waited in vain. The punchline was "I'm far too old for them....."

RitaLynn · 09/03/2011 14:47

Mobly

"I see 40s as young, get a bit of botox..."

Isn't that validating the premise of the man in the pub?

LaurieFairyCake · 09/03/2011 14:48

I do think their is something 'luminous' about young people and that sheen does go when you're older. Which is why women add Clarins Beauty Flash Balm/Highlighters/ shiny stuff to make-up (and all celebs have that put on and then airbrushed for photos)

I am less attractive than when I was 30 - my skin is slackening and is not repairing as well. I don't have many wrinkles but my skin is definitely older looking.

Yes I am increasingly attractive as a person - all wisdomous and shit but on looks alone - not so much.

And celebs? The ones we talk about who are very attractive older were mostly very attractive younger too - they're not like real humans - they are exceptional (like Susan Sarandon - stunning/mesmerising)

IcingOnTheCakes · 09/03/2011 14:49

Also not all 20 something women are bimbo paris hilton types! They don't have as much life experience as a 40 something (obviously) but that doesn't mean they are just eye candy with nothing interesting to say.

Asteria · 09/03/2011 14:49

I'm sure that my mother would beg to differ - she bagged herself a husband ten years her junior when she was 40 (she also had a 13 year old me and an 8 year old DS in tow) - and as for fertility, she pushed out two children within 19 months of being married and another when she was 46 (we like to call her the surprise!).

I'm a single parent and at 33 I would like to think I can ignore the rubbish tales I have heard that men will date a 30 year old when they are 30, but after that their age requirements decree that they can get older but their lovers cannot... I would like to see a 23 year old perform with the expertise that I can

DaisyDaresYOU · 09/03/2011 14:50

I think it's unfair to say it's wrong aswell.

TondelayoSchwarzkopf · 09/03/2011 14:53

I like your Mum Asteria

shoshe · 09/03/2011 15:05

I married my DH a 40, I was a Mother and grandmother, with no hope of ever having another child.

DH was 30 with no children.

Didnt stop him marrying me, in fact when I was worried about him not having children of his own, he toldme I was more important.

That was 14 years ago.

IcingOnTheCakes · 09/03/2011 15:13

DaisyDaresYOU yes i thought that was a bit off as well.

My dh certainly wouldn't be with me still after 6 years if i was just a hot body (i wish) and not much else.

I think when men do date women just for their smooth skin etc, it doesn't last long.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5