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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think wearing shoes indoors is disgusting?

542 replies

CJ2010 · 07/03/2011 20:24

I have a 'No shoes worn in the home' rule at my own house but I have noticed that a lot of people are not fussed if peps walk into their houses with their shoes on. Why do they allow this?

Last night when I arrived at my mum's, she ordered me not to enter the living room, as she had accidentially trod dog poo through the room and was busy scrubbing the floor. All because she bizzrely wears her shoes in her home. How hard is it to take your shoes off in the hallway, once you get home?

I tried to hide my annoyance as it is her home, but I wouldn't allow DD to crawl about on the floor. The room stunk of poo and i felt sick.

AIBU?

OP posts:
diddl · 08/03/2011 13:46

All of my shoes are comfortable-still doesn´t make me want to wear them in the houseGrin

Bumblequeen · 08/03/2011 13:47

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at poster's request.

LDNmummy · 08/03/2011 13:48

I would never ask a guest to remove their shoe's although I would appreciate it if they asked what I preferred. But thats exactly why I would not have carpet outside of my bedroom (I actually think having carpet is much worse than wearing shoes indoors as it retains dirt, dust and all sorts of yuckiness) over a much longer period of time. My immediate family would know to remove their shoes so that is good enough for me. I do think there is too much germaphobia and a little dirt is not bad for you, but I clean my floors (not carpet so easily done) with hot water and a touch of bleach weekly. I am positively going to encourage my LO to crawl on the floor at home and in the grass at the park (obviously in a nice doggy poo free area), a good immune is more valuable in the long run. I think some scientists say that that is why kids try eating their own poo from their nappies and pick their nose and eat it, it is a primal instinct to encourage a strong immune.

For me its about moderate cleanliness.

wordfactory · 08/03/2011 13:49

Ephiny lots of people have house parties and everyone dresses in their glad rags.

This was certainly a smart affair with caterers etc

WhereTheWildThingsWere · 08/03/2011 13:50

Op do what you want, but personally I think life is way too short for this kind of rubbish, lighten up.

In the summer both my dc's often sit outside on the pavement chalking, no doubt wrist deep in piss, shit, vomit and spit. They even have snacks out there, hell they probably put their organic ricecakes directly onto the germ ridden cess pit that exists right outside of our front door, while they work on a tricky bit of colouring, then pick them right up and eat them.

They were both alive last time I looked.

52Girls · 08/03/2011 13:54

''In my experience the people with real class would never have the bad manners to notice such things and they would never point the finger and label others.''

''I would rather be seen as clean and common, than middle class, dirty and ignorant.''

Hang on a doggone second there SJK...!

I clearly have too much time on my hands today if I'm doing this sort of thing, but haven't you just sort of contradicted yerself?

LemonDifficult · 08/03/2011 14:00

SJK - no-one called you a chav, they (well, I) referred to the Harry Enfield clean chavs.

We're discussing etiquette on a MN thread - class was going to come up at some point.

And posh people pint and label as much as the rest of the world I'm afraid. That's not about class, that's human nature.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 08/03/2011 14:03

"Best way to keep my house clean would be to keep my toddler outside, actually."

absolutely - actually just keep the children in general outside Grin. Revolting creatures they are really - even when they get past the pooing and weeing on the floor stage they still develop nasty habits such as nose picking, ear picking, not washing hands after using the toilet as they're in a rush to get back to wht they were doing. And then there's the vomitting that they're prone to at any age, I've found that generally speaking past the age of about 5 or 6 they're pretty good at making it to a toilet/sink/bucket - but not always if it catches them by surprise

SeeJaneKick · 08/03/2011 14:06

I and others were called chavs by inference. ANd s for my "clean and common" comment it was sarcasm.

violetwellies · 08/03/2011 14:09

Good lord, Ive only just got himself to take his wellies off when going upstairs. Downstairs we have big sandstone flags and a permanent layer of grime :)

52Girls · 08/03/2011 14:09

I was refering to the calling folk 'dirty & ignorant' comment really...Never mind. This has all been much fun but I'm off to gather some germs to watch the dcs in a pancake race now. Toodlepip!

LemonDifficult · 08/03/2011 14:10

Well, don't take it personally. There's plenty of other MNers who agree with you.

Ormirian · 08/03/2011 14:11

"I actually think having carpet is much worse than wearing shoes indoors as it retains dirt, dust and all sorts of yuckiness) over a much longer period of time"

Totally agree! We have carpets everywhere in our new house. I hate them but can't afford the time or money to get rid atm.

Ormirian · 08/03/2011 14:12

Hmm... interesting point. Is being called a 'chav' worse than being called 'disgusting' ....

52Girls · 08/03/2011 14:12

Me..? personally? You surely don't mean me, LD?!

I couldn't have taken it less personally..but I'm sure you can't mean me so I'm off to pancake.

givemesomespace · 08/03/2011 14:13

OCD OCD OCD

LemonDifficult · 08/03/2011 14:16

52Girls, nah, I meant SJK. I assumed you weren't flouncing out! It was a cross post.

I have no feature walls and am quite secure in my filth. Grin

GetOrfMoiLand · 08/03/2011 14:16

I couldn't give a shit about shoes in the house. I usually take mine off anyway, but I don't have a hard and fast rule. And I would never ask someone to take their shoes off if they visited.

I don't have any carpet mind you - parquet and floorboards all throughout.

But even ifI had carpet I don't think I would give a damn. And I am a clean freak. I just sweep and mop a lot

LDNmummy · 08/03/2011 14:20

After reading more of the thread it sounds like you have an OCD issue that has been sparked or hightened by having a baby. I have some slight OCD habits in regards to kitchen hygiene (classic cup rinser) but I am not too bad. You are very rude in judging, you may think you have high standards but it can actually be more detrimetal (even to your mental health) than accepting a little dirt.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 08/03/2011 14:29

"don't give a shit"

I think being called a chav is worse than being disgusting........

PepsiPopcorn · 08/03/2011 14:38

YABU. Just use a doormat. It's just a bit of general dust that will come into the house, not scary disease-ridden slime monsters.

(Dog poo is different of course - obviously you'd take your shoes off then!)

lesley33 · 08/03/2011 15:23

I keep my shoes on indoors as I nearly always wear only very comfortable shoes.

But IMO the arguments for not asking people to remove shoes are as follows.

  • Some people have ugly feet with veruccas, bunions, etc that they may not want anyone else to see.
  • Some people's feet stink! My OH's feet stink in spite of use of odour eaters, etc. I have asked my OH to put their shoes back on when in the house!
  • Some people, particularly older people feel uncomfortable in public without shoes. My OH has a regular anxiety dream about being outside in public without any shoes. And I know my FIL would feel very under dressed without shoes inside. He always wears a shirt and wouldn't dream of wearing something as casual as a t shirt outside of the house.
  • Some older/disabled people struggle to take their shoes off and on. Of course they may have managed to get them on in the morning. But it is a very different experience struggling to get shoes on in private and have someone watching you really struggle. This can be embarassing.
  • Shoes can be supportive and help reduce pain for some people. My partner has inserts worn inside ordinary shoes to lessen foot pain caused by problems with bones. You wouldn't know this from looking at the shoes.
  • The floors are dirty and you end up with hair, dust, etc sticking to your socks or bare feet.
  • Your feet will be cold. Particularly a problem if you have anything like raynaud's disease which make feet much colder.

Reasons for asking people to take them off:

  • You don't want dog mess, etc dragged into your house. However, every single post I have read about this says that of course people should take shoes off if they are muddy or walked in dog mess.
  • You don't want children crawling on dirty floors. Although I don't see this as a problem I can accept it as a valid concern. But only if you stop asking people to take shoes off when children are no crawling.
  • You don't want stains, etc on carpet. I have a light beige expensive carpet in my lounge. The reason I bought an expensive one is that ime it is very easy to get stains, dirt, etc outs of a quality carpet. My carpet has had red wine, mud, curry, etc on it and I have always managed to get teh stain out very easily. If you have cheaper carpets I can understand that it is much more difficult to keep stain free.
  • You want to do less hoovering, sweeping or mopping. I would be annoyed at a friend or relative who wants to make me feel uncomfortable so they can avoid 10-15 minutes of housework.
  • The poster is a clean freak and can't stand the idea of all those germs been brought in from outside.

BTW I have a very smart, tidy, clean house. But I would much rather buy a decent carpet that can be easily cleaned and do a little bit extra housework, than ask people to take their shoes off at the door.

RachelHRD · 08/03/2011 15:52

Lesley33 your OH's feet probably smell so much because they are permanently in shoes and don't get the chance to 'breathe'!

I am a shoes off person - I have small children who roll and crawl all over our carpets so I prefer to know that they are clean and I prefer us all to be bare foot to allow our feet to breathe. I don't insist on people taking their shoes off - but I feel very uncomfortable if they don't!

People keep on going on about how they would take their shoes off if they had dog poo on them - but do you check your shoes every time you enter a house? From the OP it's clear that her Mum didn't realise hence she had it all over the lounge carpet....

Also people are bandying OCD around without thought - as someone who has suffered from OCD with debilitating effect for years I find it rather insulting. I am not a 'clean freak' and not everyone who is has OCD...

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 08/03/2011 15:57

"People keep on going on about how they would take their shoes off if they had dog poo on them - but do you check your shoes every time you enter a house?"

trust me - if you stand in dog poo you know it

a) you feel it - it's disgusting is squelches under your foot
b) you SMELL it! it literally follows you around like a bad smell. Squished dog poo for some reasons appears to smell 100x worse than the unsquished stuff..........

QuickLookBusy · 08/03/2011 16:14

We went to a drinks party on xmas evening. We live in the countryside and everyone walked. The lanes were slushy and muddy and dirty, they always are. DH and I went up in wellies then changed into shoes which I had checked and cleaned. Everyone else came in shoes and walked mud and slush all over the host's carpets, she was livid and told me afterwards she would never have asked them to take off their shoes but had hoped they would have done.

You wouldn't walk on someone's sofa with your shoes on so don't do it on their carpets. It's just good manners.