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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think wearing shoes indoors is disgusting?

542 replies

CJ2010 · 07/03/2011 20:24

I have a 'No shoes worn in the home' rule at my own house but I have noticed that a lot of people are not fussed if peps walk into their houses with their shoes on. Why do they allow this?

Last night when I arrived at my mum's, she ordered me not to enter the living room, as she had accidentially trod dog poo through the room and was busy scrubbing the floor. All because she bizzrely wears her shoes in her home. How hard is it to take your shoes off in the hallway, once you get home?

I tried to hide my annoyance as it is her home, but I wouldn't allow DD to crawl about on the floor. The room stunk of poo and i felt sick.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BadBagel · 10/03/2011 14:36

prettybird I am 40 and only just found out about this 'issue'
I am from Holland, moved to the UK via Germany, DH is from Liverpool, lived in Newcastle and Germany and we now live in the south, still neither of us have experienced this 'shoes-off' as being the norm :o

and I am really intrigued by it

diddl · 10/03/2011 14:36

I´m from the Midlands & shoes off the norm.

Although not "expected".

BadBagel · 10/03/2011 14:37

party clothes and slipper :o :o

exoticfruits · 10/03/2011 14:39

'Still don't know anyone in real life who expects people to take off their shoes.'

This is the same with me-I know one household (where I freeze) and yet MN showes that Hyacinth Bucket is no, joke but alive and well all over the country. Floors must be admired and not stepped upon without authorised footwear! I would give everyone the plastic overshoes that you get in swimming pools if you are fussed, but remember to check where they have been sitting before they get to you! (no wonder people have so many allergies)

HouseOfBamboo · 10/03/2011 14:40

Yes agree about some outfits really not working without shoes/boots. I've got a couple of pairs of skinnies which have the bottom surplus 6 inches roughly hacked off so that they tuck more neatly into boots. They certainly wouldn't stand up to public scrutiny with their dangling threads...

exoticfruits · 10/03/2011 14:41

The shoe industry would die-who needs them?! Boots/wellies/thick socks/slippers are all you need.

Ormirian · 10/03/2011 14:42

This is getting silly.

Look, personally I am happy to take off my shoes in someone else's house if they want me to. In fact if they were very wet or muddy or covered in shit I would do automatically. Wouldn't be an issue as long as they didn't mind my having odd or holey socks or no socks at all.

Not really an problem at all.

And yes I'd rather not have a grubby carpet too but it's not that high on my list of priorities.

But I do think it's a bit unreasonable to call people disgusting for not doing so and I think there are some worryingly over-anxious attituddes to germs and dirt here.

exoticfruits · 10/03/2011 14:44

I take them off if asked but I think it extremely rude to be asked. If they are muddy I do it automatically, but I am not going to turn up for dinner muddy.

BooyFuckingHoo · 10/03/2011 14:54

long thread, and may read it later but just to answer the OP's question, "How hard is it to take your shoes off in the hallway, once you get home?"

actually quite awkward in this house. no matter how often i try and reinstate the rule it doesn't work and here's why.

my front door opens into a hallway that is only as wide as the door, so when i am coming into the house with the buggy, ds1 walking and the dog we have to go right on through to the living room before we have any space to bend/sit and take shoes off. at which point we are all already in the living room having carried all the dirt from outside through the hall. so even when we do take shoes off and go back into the hall (one at a time) to put shoes in the cupboard we are now walking back through muddy wet dirt in our socks and when we come back out of the cupboard with our slippers on we are walking back through the wet muddy dirt carrying it back into either the kitchen or living room. plus the fact that we have to go one at a time to the hall means that ds2 has disappeared into either the kitchen or up the stairs hotly pursued by the dog if i havent already taken him out into the garden for a pee through teh back door which is in the living room meaning that when he comes back in he is also carrying dirt straight into the living room.

in other words, unless my landlord wants to build me a porch, this will be a shoes worn indoors house.

gomummygo · 10/03/2011 14:56

This thread is getting entertaining actually! Grin

OP - YANBU, but I think from reading this it's a combination of geography and the habits you're brought up with.

I have never been to anyone's house, nor had anyone come to my house, where outdoor shoes are left on. So never had to ask, but I think I would if someone tried to come in with outdoor shoes on. (I do not have carpets). It is very cold where I live, but most people's floors are not cold as the basements underneath are generally heated.

Before MN I had no idea that there were places where it would be typical to leave shoes on. Blush

expatinscotland · 10/03/2011 15:32

'I'm Scottish, brought up in Glasgow (and moved back 17 years ago) - extremely middle class (the Glaswegians can make a good guess at which of the North side suburbs I was brought up in ) but went to Uni in St Andrews and worked/lived in Welwyn Garden City, Bolton and Hull/Beverley over my career.'

I'm 40 as well. Brought up in N. America and Latin America, extremely middle class as well, as far as I can tell.

My mother is an exceptional host, always has been, loves to entertain.

Her guests' comfort and pleasure is paramount when she invites people to her home.

She and my father are often guests/visitors in others' homes in N. America and Latin America.

Would consider it extraordinarily rude and tacky to be greeted at the door by a host whose first demand was to remove their footwear on account of the hosts' flooring - why have guests to begin with, then, would be her question.

In Latin America, they are usually invited to dinner parties or cocktail parties or events like this where dress shoes and clothing are expected. Guests are usually driven to the host so opportunities to tread in dog shit are limited.

The two of them have travelled extensively in Asia and knew about shoes-off among native people there so prepared accordingly, but as she puts it, 'I don't live in Asia now, do I?'

If the hosts' floors are more important that guests with freezing feet, well, then they're welcome to admire their floors in peace.

expatinscotland · 10/03/2011 15:34

I do find the whole 'shoes off', especially at events like the dinner party wordfactory attended, quite Hyacinth Bucket.

halfcaffodils · 10/03/2011 15:37

Reminds me of my MIL quoting a cleaner she once had 'Don't step in the clean, I've just hooved!'

QuickLookBusy · 10/03/2011 15:45

Expat you don't need to have frozen feet! Go prepared and have on some thick socks.

If it is ok to respect peoples wishes in parts of Asia, why not in the UK?

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 10/03/2011 15:52

thick socks with a nice dress...........oh yes lovely look Wink

QuickLookBusy · 10/03/2011 15:58

It passes as high fashion round these partsGrin

diddl · 10/03/2011 16:04

I think many of us who are "shoes off" if having a party/dinner or whatever wouldn´t expect guests to remove shoes-just to wipe.

HHLimbo · 10/03/2011 16:05

Um yeeess..

Shoes off in the house please. Its more comfortable to walk around without the tougher outdoor shoes, but slippers or clean shoes must be worn in the kitchen!

exoticfruits · 10/03/2011 16:13

'Would consider it extraordinarily rude and tacky to be greeted at the door by a host whose first demand was to remove their footwear on account of the hosts' flooring - why have guests to begin with, then, would be her question.'

Hooray. Why indeed have friends?-preserve your floors!!!

lesley33 · 10/03/2011 16:15

I know pavements are dirty, but I have just looked at the bottom of my shoe and it honestly isn't dirty. It is true there will be tiny bits of dirt that I can't see, but surely this isn't a problem?

expatinscotland · 10/03/2011 16:28

'Go prepared and have on some thick socks.'

I can't wear most of my shoes with thick socks, particularly if it's a dinner party and I'm wearing heels or other dressy shoes.

Don't invite me to your house if your floor is more important than your guests' comfort. Most people don't walk around with thick socks on their person, especially men.

prettybird · 10/03/2011 16:35

Why would I take a pair of thick socks with me if I never never gone to a house where this is a requirement? HmmConfused

usualsuspect · 10/03/2011 16:37

Grin at emergency thick socks

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 10/03/2011 16:40

every woman (and man) should carry around a pair of emegency thick socks in their bag............just in case

DS's are in and out of the garden this afternoon........no they're not taking their shoes off each time they dash in and out............

usualsuspect · 10/03/2011 16:42

before leaving your house

keys check
phone check
money check
emergency socks check

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