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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think that a 3,5 year old shouldn't have his own IPad?

153 replies

NJE · 05/03/2011 23:35

I'm a nanny. I just started my new job last Monday, I look after a boy who is 3,5 years old and has his own IPad and is allowed to play with it every day when he wants to. AIBU for thinking that a 3,5 year old shouldn't have his own IPad or play with it at all?! P.S: He can't dress himself though but uses his IPad without any problems at all :D

OP posts:
PrincessScrumpy · 06/03/2011 19:26

I don't get why kids have to only play with "educational" toys - can't they just have fun? Okay so it's expensive but surely he's learning to use things with care and possibly fine motor skills.

Whatever it is, you are the nanny and not the parent. We get enough grief and guilt through being a parent - everything we do we question if it's right or good enough. You are there to support the parents and care for the child. He's not playing with knives and it is unlikely to turn him into a serial killer.

PrincessScrumpy · 06/03/2011 19:27

ps. Not many 3.5 year olds dress themselves, I don't think that's a massive issue yet.

princessparty · 06/03/2011 19:36

I agree princessscrumpy.The number of times I've longed to go into a toy shop and ask to be seen for something with no educational value at all!!

dementedma · 06/03/2011 20:09

a ton of money to spend on one so young. What the hell are they going to get him as he gets older?
his own villa in Tuscany for his 5th birthday?

Am36butfeel66 · 06/03/2011 20:43

To NJE, I can understand why you would be concerned. I have an iPad and my dd gets to use it for a max of 30min after her bath before bed to play her games on, but only if she has been a good girl that day...as she is 3.5 she can be defiant at times so by banning the iPad when she doesn't do what I want her to do etc, I am hoping that she learns to listen and stop saying, No!! Lol...)...
Have you suggested to the Childs mother that they get some educational apps on the iPad to help with his development etc? There are some fantastic apps around, and every day there are better ones coming. My dd has a mixture of educational apps and some games, but I make sure that I choose carefully and watch her, but I am absolutely amazed how brilliant the iPad is if it is used in the right way. The world she will grow up in will be full of technology, and she needs to be shown how to use it correctly instead of just playing games all the time. Since using the iPad my dd's attention span has grown immensely, she a couple of months ago would never have sat long enough on my knee to read a full story, but since using the iPad, she will happily sit with me and let me read her 2-3 story's at a time!..I think the iPad has really helped with this. Also I mighty add, that the DVDs I have put on it also are great when she gets bored in the back of the car on a long journey, or in a restaurant etc, or visiting a boring relation!! Lol...
If you are finding the length of time he is allowed to use it wrong, maybe you would be better finding another family to work with as with age his use of it wil only increase and annoy you loads!

Merrylegs · 06/03/2011 20:51

No, you're right, the physical exertion of an ipad is probably similar to doing Duplo.

But not the mental ability. Duplo, or any free play is only limited by the imagination -ie it is limitless. Interaction with an ipad is limited to the confines and structure of the game.

Morloth · 06/03/2011 21:25

I would feel that if I gave my kid something to do play with and told the nanny that it was fine, that she should not question it further TBH. It isn't actually any of your business.

We have friend who have an ipad for their kids and we have toyed with the idea for DS1 (who is 7) because he loves theirs so much, but he isn't great at careful handling of things so we are going to leave it.

I am of course watching my almost 1 year old try to operate the xbox right now so may not be the sort of person you were hoping would respond.

We like technology and gadgets here, they are great.

exoticfruits · 06/03/2011 22:09

I think that would be my reason for not being a nanny, Morloth I couldn't stand not questioning it! I would just take it off him when you are there and leave his parents to do what they like when they have him. Tell them you didn't have time-there were much more exciting things to do.

Danthe4th · 06/03/2011 22:17

I'm a nanny and worked today for a lovely couple having a day at a spa, they had a 15 month old dd who they had just last week bought her an ipad. I was a bit taken aback but dad told me that they want her to be brought up to respect technology and they can take away an ipad but not a tv, anyway that was their argument.
They were a lovely family and I can see what they mean, but as she was playing with dads blackberry which she chucked on the floor I think they may have a way to go.
I love gadgets and buy them with the excuse that they are educational!!

exoticfruits · 06/03/2011 22:18

They bought an ipad so they had something to take away!!! I think I have heard it all now!

SoftKittyWarmKitty · 06/03/2011 22:32

An iPad for a 15 month old! Fuck me!

scottishmummy · 06/03/2011 22:34

do your employers know your bitching and bellyaching on mn?

really nasty and underhand to post about your employers child

bambiandthumper · 06/03/2011 22:48

I got DH one for Christmas as he was always stealing mine, then work gave him one so the DT's (3.9) have his original one.

I really can't see what the problem is, its no different to a nintendo, and they love playing with it. If your upset that there are no educational apps, can you not download some?

Obviously I wouldn't give them access to it 24/7, but as his nanny, are you not in charge of when he has it or not (when he is in your care)?

Mumcentreplus · 06/03/2011 22:53

Ahhh..ffs a child should not have a iPad..thats smells of desperation imo..

anyway I'm an evil biatch mummy from hell who wont buy her 9 & 7yr olds a DSi or mobile phone..

exoticfruits · 07/03/2011 07:48

I don't see a problem, as bambiandthumper says, when you are working you are in charge and you simply put in a cupboard until you go off duty.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 07/03/2011 09:51

Desperation in what way?

It's all very well those of you implying you want them to play with sticks and hoops or bits of coal but at some stage your children are going to have to get to grips with this. The 1950's have passed, never to return.

cumbria81 · 07/03/2011 09:55

I agree.

For one thing, it's hugely expensive and he probably won't look after it properly and for another if he's got something like that at 3.5 what is he going to expect later on in his childhood? Flat screen tv? Ferrari when he's 17?

Ragwort · 07/03/2011 12:25

Mumcentreplus - I'm with you (although we are clearly out numbered on this thread Grin) - my DS only has a second hand Playstation to play with - whoever said 'it's no different to a ninetendo' - I wouldn't allow one of those either.

Yes, I was born in the 50s Smile !

PS: am aware that my DS does need to be technically savvy, he is quite competant at using all these gadgets.

PPS: whoever said using an ipad is easier than putting on your socks - not to me it isn't Grin.

LilyBolero · 07/03/2011 12:35

I think it's hugely sad that kids are bombarded by screens so much. We have no games consoles at all, the kids aren't allowed TV except at weekends, but they are allowed to use our PC a little bit.

They have much more fun, and are far more creative than before we implemented the TV regime, it's the best thing we ever did. Contrary to popular belief, using computers isn't difficult - they're all competent on the computer, even with very limited usage - because it doesn't take very much to learn how to use them.

And I certainly wouldn't spend that much on a 3 year old. Madness!

FreeDelivery · 07/03/2011 12:39

lyra41 I haven't read entire thread so apologies if duplicate, but search montessorium for some good educational apps, super why is good too...

To op both my kids 2 & 4 love the iPad! Can't help feel that by the time our kids are our age everything will be done on devices like our phone and pc's obsolete, and when we have grandchildren they will be doing stuff we can't even imagine now.

Technology is moving v fast, childhoods are very much linked to technology whether we like it or not.... So each to their own IMHO!

PoppetUK · 07/03/2011 12:44

This item is can be claimed for using the Australian Education Tax Rebate. We purchased one and we all use it :) We use Kindle for the kids, interactive books, kids apps. I wouldn't have bought one for the child but happy for them to access it. We take it in the car and have Barney playing if the journey is more than an hour. They are a wonderful device. Would love to chop it in for the ipad 2. I could see the kids using the video editing and photobooth on it.

wannaBe · 07/03/2011 13:04

No it is obscene.

And it is all a part of the culture we appear to live in now where children get what they want when they want. Is it any wonder we appear to be raising a generation of spoiled brats who have no respect for authority?

The claim that the ipad is education and helpss with development is just an excuse for parents to justify over-indulging their little darlings.

There's nothing wrong with children having access to technology. They are raised with it and as such it holds no fear for them. But children do not need that kind of technology of their very own, and at 3 I include televisions in bedrooms and games consoles in that list.

And there are many downsides - children who are unable to write because they type on a screen; children who never learn to spell because they have predictive text; there are a lot of links between computers and depression, there is also evidence that internet use can become an addiction, and in fact in the US and some parts of europe there are centres that deal with computer game and internet addiction. Should we really be giving our children such unlimited access to this sort of thing? Not to mention the fact that indulging them on such a level means they grow up with absolutely concept of the value of money - as it is we have younger people getting into serious debt because of the must-have culture which means everything goes on the credit card, by spending such vast amounts of money on our children so young only leads to them growing up with a must-have agenda.

exoticfruits · 07/03/2011 13:46

Not having an iPad at 3.5 yrs isn't going to hold him back technologically! No wonder DCs turn to drugs, they have it all too soon and nothing to strive for, or look forward to! Been there, done it, got the Tshirt all before they are 5yrs old!

megapixels · 07/03/2011 13:57

YANBU to have an opinion on it, I think it's ridiculous. You are not the parent though and it's upto them what they buy their child.

I am surprised at all nods to iPads being an educational tool for a 3.5 year old Hmm Hmm. Yeah right. I'm sure the millions of pre-schoolers who aren't bought iPads are going to grow up to be the tech-dunces of tomorrow.

I think it does a child no favours to know that they get bought all the latest/expensive gadgets for themselves by their adoring parents. Sensible parenting. NOT.

JessRabbit · 07/03/2011 14:29

They get put into party bags in some circles.

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