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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to think that a 3,5 year old shouldn't have his own IPad?

153 replies

NJE · 05/03/2011 23:35

I'm a nanny. I just started my new job last Monday, I look after a boy who is 3,5 years old and has his own IPad and is allowed to play with it every day when he wants to. AIBU for thinking that a 3,5 year old shouldn't have his own IPad or play with it at all?! P.S: He can't dress himself though but uses his IPad without any problems at all :D

OP posts:

Mishy1234 · 06/03/2011 09:31

I don't think it's bad as such, but I do think the time spent on these things should be limited (like TV). Too much time spent looking at a screen of any kind isn't something I would choose for my kids.

I would ask your employers if they want him to have unlimited time on it, or if he should be restricted to a certain amount of time. Not your choice to choose as an employee I'm afraid

LadyBiscuit · 06/03/2011 09:35

I think there's something a bit grotesque about buying a 3 1/2 year old a £400 piece of technology to play games on.

If that's what you get when you're three, what do you get for your 8th birthday?

MrsGuyOfGisbourne · 06/03/2011 09:38

LB - agree and I would say grotesque is puyting it mildly - I would have said plain obscene... Wah ton enarth are these kids going to grow into. Microscopic attentions span and need for instant gratfication.

Bumperlicious · 06/03/2011 10:07

I agree with LB. Don't disagree with them playing on one but their own one? No. I fell out with my mum before christmas because she wanted to buy dd1 a laptop. She is 3! And my mum thought i was being unreasonable!

Nataby · 06/03/2011 12:26

Funny thing that, she would know the cost of the iPad, so I don't see your point. This just happens to be a very useful equipment that is educational and entertaining as well. I am not exceedingly rich, however I think cost is irrelevant in this, I consider it good value for what it does.

At Lay, my daughter is 3, I don't have a 5 year old, so just check the app store, you will know much better which is more suitable for your child.

MyBrainIsOutOfTune · 06/03/2011 13:05

Haven't used an iPad (can't afford), but as far as I can see, it actually looks more suitable for children than for adults Touch screen, clear colours, large icons, apps made especially for children...

I suspect that if they had marketed it as a children's educational toy instead of the latest must-have for all gadget-obsessives out there, they wouldn't have been able to charge upwards of £400 for it...

LaWeasel · 06/03/2011 13:09

It is totally bonkers.

There's stuff they can play on it that makes it more suitable than a DS etc, but they cost so much! And they won't last it's not a good long term investment, since a lot of the good stuff can easily be replicated with pen and paper.

What is wrong with family tech anyway. So they can use it sometimes, but it doesn't have to be their own individual thing.

FourFortyFour · 06/03/2011 13:11

YABU. It isn't your business and lots of 3 years olds can't dress themselves. Maybe try teaching him to do it rather than criticising his parents choices.

LadyBiscuit · 06/03/2011 13:11

No of course she wouldn't know the cost of it. But at 3 and 4, children are not terribly careful with toys. And an ipad is not designed to be a landing pad, a stepping stone or a frisbee, all of which are things my DS regularly subjects his toys to. Fortunately they are designed for children so they don't break.

I don't have any issue with children using an ipad or an itouch at all - my DS plays with mine a fair bit. It's just buying them their own one that I think is a bit off.

MisSalLaneous · 06/03/2011 13:21

I don't get the fear / hate some people have towards use of technology by children. (Not specific posters on this thread, just rl observation.)

Surely the ideal solution is a balanced life. Physical activities, activities improving fine motor skills, gross motor skills, concentration, etc. Most things are perfectly fine in moderation.

Ds (almost 3) does not have his own Ipad, but can use dh's Ipad and my Iphone easily. There are puzzle games, memory games, fun ones (anyone has the repeating cat one? - I'm 33 and was fascinated! ), etc. If I had money to burn, I would buy him his own - ideal for use on planes, trains etc without having to carry loads of little distractions with.

I do hope that those objecting strongly against Ipad / laptop use (cost aside) do not allow their children to watch television for half an hour / hour per day, as that is surely worse and not interactive at all. It would be a bit hypocritical imo.

MisSalLaneous · 06/03/2011 13:25

LadyBiscuit, I disagree with you on the handling of it. At 3, they are not stupid. Whilst ds would throw a ball or sit on a stuffy toy, he has never thrown my phone or roughly handled the Ipad. It's like saying they like kicking balls therefore they would kick a tv.

twopeople · 06/03/2011 13:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

mumbar · 06/03/2011 13:41

bitofFun Has a brilliant point about its use for children, especially those with SN. You can now get communication aid material loaded onto them, get them switch activated, and also with iphones too.

Personally I wouldn't get a 3yo one, nor could I afford too. I have considered getting DS a netbook for his 7th birthday as he will go to junior school. Friends DDs have mobile phones, they are 5 & 7. Of course DS wants to know when he can have one too. So far he has accepted when he's 11yo and off to Secondary School.

PonceyMcPonce · 06/03/2011 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ragwort · 06/03/2011 13:49

Personally I do think it is ridiculous that a 3 year old can use an ipad but not dress himself. Totally agree with LB - it is an obscene amount of money to spend on a 3 year old (or any age child for that matter). My DS (10) was opening his fairly modest birthday presents last week - sports equipment, books etc - his friend was with him and casually mentioned he'd got an ipod touch for his 10th birthday - fortunately that sort of comment goes over my DS's head ! I've said it before on Mumsnet but I do think it is wrong that so many children are 'techno savvy' but can't tie their own shoelaces or remember (the old fashioned way) their own phone number .

SoupDragon · 06/03/2011 13:51

It is only an obscene amount of money to spend on a 3 year old if you can't afford it.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 06/03/2011 13:55

Two separate issues Ragwort. Yes of course it's ridiculous that some children aren't being taught the basics of how to look after themselves but that has nothing to do with technology. Like it or not the generation being born now will use technology in ways we can't even imagine. Restricting them from using it now will simply put them at a disadvantage later on because it will be expected that they are confident and knowledgeable about it.

Of course that doesnt mean they sit glued to it and do nothing else. It's all a balance but these skills will be every bit as essential as tying your shoelaces.

AlfalfaMum · 06/03/2011 14:02

All my kids use ours (youngest just turned 4), not all day everyday but I usually say yes when they ask. iPads are very intuitive and easy to use, much easier than putting on socks.
My DD2 is great at all things techie, but gets in a right tizzy trying to get her socks on (she has aspergers with mild dyspraxia and hyper mobility).

We have the one iPad to share, but I'd probably get them one each if I was loaded!

YunoYurbubson · 06/03/2011 14:36

My 2yo refers to MY iPad as his iPad .

YunoYurbubson · 06/03/2011 14:38

Btw - is this completely the wrong thread to ask for recommendations for good games and educational aps for young children?

lIllyall · 06/03/2011 14:50

I know what you mean NJE I feel theres something a bit off about it that I can't quite reason or put my finger on. I agree were living in a new technological age and its a benefit for children to learn IT skills early but I find something a bit worrying about children having the internet in loco parentis. I would try to be positive about it in front of his mother so as to support her decision as a parent but maybe make extra sure the child gets plenty of contact and attention from real humans so he learns the other far more important interpersonal skills that only human contact can provide

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 06/03/2011 14:54

OK. You just started a new job and you are clearly unhappy with a lot more than the issue of the ipad. That is a red herring and its wrong for you to judge the parents' choices for their child.

The issue is about rules and guidelines about what the child does and what you can tell him to do or not do. Get that sorted - and if you are not able to agree something that works with this family then move jobs.

AlfalfaMum · 06/03/2011 14:57

yuno there's a website called MomsWithApps, they also have a facebook page, and they feature and review apps for kids. Also, they have 'app Friday' when they'll have an app or 2 free, or really cheap. I just got a free story making app :)

Merrylegs · 06/03/2011 14:59

"I can't say no because he gets upset and mum is around and let's him have it anyway,"

I think it depends on the way he is using it.

If he has no restrictions and can pick it up whenever, to the detriment of other activities; if he would rather be on the ipad than doing something else, then it is possibly a problem.

If you are in charge of him and you would like to engage him in another activity but he is getting upset and would prefer the ipad and his mum lets him have it to keep the peace then yes, there are probably three of you in the relationship.

You, him and the ipad.

AlfalfaMum · 06/03/2011 15:01

Some DD2 likes are KidsMathFun and MontessoriCrosswords. Solar Walk is lovely too.
The story making app is Story Patch.

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