To be scared of inside out socks

[Whatever17]

Obviously when I do the laundry I turn the socks the right side around.

But - are my DS's wanking in their socks? I asked ex-DH - when he had stopped laughing he said it was very likely.

ex-DH also admitted that they wank in potatoes and melons. But thankfully throw those away.

Are your children the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

POTATOES??

MELONS??

Potatoes? That would need to be a fucking big potato!

I think a sock washing strike is the way to go. At 20 you shouldn't have to pick the washing off the floor and unfold socks anyway.

Beatrix - sadly not.

Although I feel I could add to it.

You're clearly lacking as a mother. Why haven't you knitted him a wank mitten?

PS my socks are always inside out when I take them off. It's in the technique. I guess you're a slider, not a peeler?

I don't really fully understand vegetable masturbation. surely it involves whittling first? I can imagine that might be a mood killer.

On the plus side it may count towards one's 5-a-day.

Bertie - you are right - I am a bad mother. I knitted as a child and then took time out to get my O Levels, A Levels, a Degree, raise my bastard children - when I should have been knitting the poor darling wank mittens.

The poor mites have been coping with wank socks all this time. Let me load the dishwasher a few times in penance.

Slur - my children don't have time to whittle! They are too busy wanking into their socks, how cruel are you.

Yes. I am. I would require a higher level of dedication from my children.If a job's worth doing it is worth putting the effort in. And if your children don't know how to whittle then frankly you have been remiss.

[tiger mother]

OOOh yes, fruit and veg lovin'

An ex-bf once admitted he'd shagged a melon, I was like WTF? Then he said he'd originally tried it with an orange but the citric acid was too painful.

Fair put me off my fruit salad (I certainly 'passed' on the cream).

Slur - just be careful of your knickers, I personally (as a fat bitch) don't need to worry.

My knickers are threadbare (paying the leccy bill, eating chips).

But you may well have nice knickers (you may be well thin), I am only scared of the socks.

Think on.

My children never liked "crafts" when they were young.

But they like to paste now, f,narr.

My ex-bf had one of those vagina things that you could wank into. I nearly died of laughter when I saw !!it

"vagina things"? Please tell me you mean "girlfriend" !!!

My DH once masturbated with a condom on. A condom! WTF is the point? He said it was quite normal

This is fecking hilarious. I can guarantee my Mrs is going to ask me the said question tonight once she sees this thread!! Never tried it by the way - of course will have to now.........

Here you go Flesh torch

It's the vagina thing.

Virtually crying with laughter reading this thread - and feeling somewhat relieved I don't have a son of my own to leave suspect socks lying around...

EmmaBGoode I had that conversation with a friend once re. condoms. He also said it was quite normal and it's known as a "posh wank". Useful when you don't want to make a mess!

I'm feeling very sorry for the staff that do the laundry for hundreds of teenage boys at boarding school now!

Posh Wank? Really? I always suspected he had shagged someone else

This is hysterical! Loving it!

Well you could link this to the TTC boards!
See this thread, thread

It is what could be called Purposeful Wanking!!
You don't want to know what they wank into!!

I've heard of a "posh wank" too. The Flesh torch is just vile though